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What Scientology is telling its members: Things have never been better!

 
A big thanks to reader Rasha for tipping us to the new issue of International Scientology News. This is a large-format publication that we always enjoy seeing. It’s one of the magazines that Scientology puts out trying to convince its members that the organization is doing better than it ever has.

For the most part, it’s a print version of the same address that Scientology leader David Miscavige gave at the New Year’s event, whose audio we were leaked and posted on New Year’s eve. And, like the New Year’s event, for the outsider it’s just so much hard-to-believe propaganda about how Scientology’s various initiatives are saving the planet.

But the pages that we found most interesting were the ones that were simply slick ads. This is Scientology advertising to Scientologists, who are completely familiar with all of these products and initiatives. Put yourself in David Miscavige’s place — how do you create enthusiasm for going ‘Clear,’ for example, the intermediate goal of Scientology and something every church member has heard about a million times already?

It will typically take you a few years and about $183,000 to go Clear in Scientology, and that’s with a lot of commitment — usually in the form of going to the org every night of the week. So, with that in mind, does this ad get you pumped?

 

 
That text is a little small. Here’s what it says…

Clear is the freedom Mankind has dreamed of throughout the ages. But it wasn’t until the path was discovered and mapped by Ron that the state of Clear became a consistently achievable goal. Its value is priceless. As a Clear, the reactive mind is forever vanquished — the source of all fears, anxieties and irrational thoughts has been conquered. And, in that victory, you will regain yourself. Your own basic beingness returns. Your true personality flourishes. That the state of Clear can be attained is a certainty. And today, it is a goal anyone can achieve. That final burst of glory and freedom that is the state of Clear is within your reach. Take your next step up the Bridge.

Those sure are vague promises, especially for something that costs nearly $200,000. Miscavige seems to have given up almost entirely on the much more solid results that L. Ron Hubbard originally made for “Clear,” which included total recall, raised IQ, no more need to wear eyeglasses, and a basic immunity to virtually any medical ailment.

But hey, you get your beingness back.

Moving on, here’s how Miscavige is selling the top of the Bridge, OT 8, which, Marc Headley has estimated, will cost you $500,000 to $2 million to achieve, depending on how many donations they get out of you along the way.

 

 
We kind of dig the mashup here of somewhat religious imagery with the sci-fi elements. As we’ve said repeatedly, we think Scientology’s space opera is its best thing going and it’s a shame they aren’t more open about it. Here, at least, you’re getting a hint that for a couple of million, you’ll become some kind of spiritual cosmonaut.

Dave also wants you to come to the Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida, and spend tens of thousands of dollars more for the “Super Power” rundowns in the massive Flag Building, which was opened in November 2013. Here’s how he’s selling it…

 

 
Here’s what it says…

You’ve never seen rundowns like these — what they address, how they are delivered. Rundown after rundown, the power builds. Each rundown, delivered in exact sequence, addresses a unique aspect of case. This is clearing at a technical level only dreamed of — a series of super-fantastic confidential rundowns. You emerge in fantastic shape as a being, in a whole new realm of ability and awareness, with your Super Power unleashed.

Again, lots of vague promises. What do you actually get for your money? Several years ago, Dan Koon helped us understand one of the “rundowns” that make up Super Power. It turns out that for several hundred dollars an hour, you are asked a single question — “Where do you feel safe?” — over and over, hundreds of times. But hey, it’s a whole new realm of awareness!

But easily our favorite of the ad pages was this one, for the Cause Resurgence Rundown and its great text…

 

 

Experience amazing technology never before seen in this society and age. A rundown so powerful, it can pull a thetan out of anything. You won’t just blow facsimiles and ridges. You’ll restore your innate power to generate your own energy and flows. It’s based on research in an area of the track that predates this current planet by countless millennia. It’s an OT whole track objective process like no other. A thetan exterior process you can do in a body. Step up to cause.

It’s a thetan exterior process, it costs about $2,500, and IT’S RUNNING AROUND A POLE.

We’re serious. The Cause Resurgence Rundown is a really funny name for running around and around a pole. For hours. At one time, the rundown was used as a punishment, and the stories are pretty legendary about people running around a palm tree in the desert heat at Int Base, for days and days.

Back in 2012, we got renderings of the Flag Building (a/k/a the Super Power Building), and they included this image of the top floor, which is a huge domed area with a lit central pole for running around.

 

 
Running around a lit pole. Based on research that predates the earth.

We love it when Scientology is this nakedly ridiculous.

It’s also nakedly going to hit you up for huge donations, and for nothing in return…

 

 
So what do you think? How’s Dave doing trying to sell to Scientologists the same damn things they’re pitched on day after day, year after year?

Well, we’ll give him credit for one thing that’s relatively new: His dedication to advertising online. If you remember, one of the things Debbie Cook criticized Miscavige for in her famous 2012 letter was sitting on a mountain of cash and not spending it on much advertising. Miscavige seemed to take that to heart, and Scientology’s spending on Internet and television advertising has been prodigious since then.

We thought you’d be interested to see how ISN summed up 2016’s output in web ads and TV commercials.

 

 

Employing broadcast, streaming technology and social media, Scientology was definitely a major presence on the airwaves and throughout the Internet during 2016. Millions of people throughout the US and around the world experienced the positive message of spiritual technology as impactful ads were launched in conjunction with marquee annual events like the Super Bowl and Grammy Awards, as well as campaigns staged across major networks including ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX.

For sheer numbers and positioning, the “Who Am I” ad lit up the scoreboard with its debut during the 50th Annual Super Bowl held on February 7. Watched by 30 million people, the spot boosted visits to Scientology.org during the campaign’s run by a factor of 20. The spot also gained exposure to 28 million people on social media during the Super Bowl and garnered 432,000 online news articles. During the Grammys, it was the “How We Help” ad that powered a six-fold increase in visits to Scientology.org and a similar increase in social media mentions. In total, 15 million music fans were reached with our ad during the Grammys broadcast. On the TV front, ads were run nationally on all major networks as well as strategically placed in the local markets of 18 Ideal Orgs. Many popular shows were targeted with the ad buys, which reached more than 50 million people.

Streaming media was also a Scientology launchpad this year, with three ads coursing through the digiverse with extensive runs on Hulu totaling 1.75 million minutes and garnering 3.5 million views. A constant of every campaign was the social media component which resulted in massive awareness with more than 120 million ad impressions on Facebook; 40 million on Twitter; and 73 million impressions — coupled with 1.9 million video views — on YouTube.

International efforts were just as results-driven, with audiences numbering in the millions reached in major markets where Ideal Orgs are located including the UK, Italy, Spain, Australia, Taiwan, South Africa, and others. Just under 10,000 ads ran internationally, double the number of last year, for a total reach of 125 million impressions.

Add to the mix another 1.4 million views earned by Tokyo billboards in major commuter stations and the gobal total of impressions for 2016 is more than half a billion. That’s what we call presenting LRH Tech on a truly global scale.

Sakes alive, from that description you’d think Scientology was Pokémon Go or something.

 
——————–

Good news Down Under — Leah’s coming!

To our antipodean friends, you don’t have to wait long to see what all the fuss is about here in the USA…

 


 
——————–

Bonus items from our tipsters

Kerri Kasem spreads human rights abuser Scientology’s human rights message to fiduciary lawyers. How precious!

 

 
——————–

June will be here before you know it

 

 
HowdyCon 2017: Denver, June 23-25. Go here to start making your plans.

[Thank you, Observer.]

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on January 16, 2017 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2016 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2016), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

    OT. Do any of my US friends need a retreat for a limited period? Say, 4 years? It’s a purely voluntary position but just look at that view.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jan/16/wanted-sociable-hermit-for-austrian-cliffside-retreat

  • Anonymous Confused Person

    I’m reading the rest of the article and it still just blows my mind that your status in the IAS isn’t determined by what you do — how hard you work, the difference that you make, writings or research or anything else that might fundamentally advance people’s understanding of what they do (the latter of which, of course, is verboten since LRH did it all already) — none of that matters. All that matters is how much money you give. And it’s not even “this person gave this proportion of his/her holdings” (you know, the idea that the poor child who gives someone her last toy has given a gift that’s vastly more worthy than, say, a rich person who gives $1000 out of a wealth of a million dollars). It’s just based on the raw amount of dough. I’m sure that this appeals to people who believe, in their heart of hearts, that they can buy anything they need and who would rather throw money at something than actually /do/ anything, but to me it’s repellant on a purely visceral level.

    • Harpoona Frittata

      You don’t sound confused at all about the raw greed and avarice that is at the core of $cn’s fundraising activities!

  • EricS

    I am a new poster here but I have been lurking here for several years. I also spent many years commenting on other blogs since 2009, and before that, 40 years in the Church as staff and public.

    I have stories and opinions that I will likely reveal over time, if you twist my arm just right.

    • Jimmy3

      No violence!

      • flyonthewall

        cause silence can be violent sort of like a slit wrist

      • EricS

        Hmmm. Maybe I should rethink my involvement here. Well OK, OK… maybe I could give that a try.

    • Nat-leficent

      Weird currency.

      • EricS

        Oops, I don’t understand that one.

        • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

          Neither did I. Nat?

    • flyonthewall
      • chukicita

        But it wasn’t Thursday at 1 PM, and that wasn’t Hollywood Blvd…

        • flyonthewall

          you seem confused chuki. Here have a seat and let me get you a drink

    • GARRY PAGE

      Did Leah’s show nudge you to start posting at long last?

      • EricS

        No. It was just time. I saw a comment yesterday that I wanted to add to and told my wife. She encouraged me to start posting… and here I am.

    • Qbird

      40 years in… yikes. What is your current opinion of Scn.? Now, today. Carpe Diem!!!

      • EricS

        Yes, yikes is right. Ah well. Somehow I survived without too many scars.
        As far as my current opinion of Scientology, I am well off the path and pretty well recovered.
        I feel that Ron Hubbard was pretty fast and loose with the truth, or pretty much avoided it. I haven’t really fully decided if he was a total charlatan or if he fell for his own hype, or some curious combination of the two. He did say some things that proved to be workable, buried deep in much nonsense. I think that his idea of scientific research was to blather on, while on the e-meter, and anything that “read” was taken as “gospel”. At some point I am guessing that he felt he no longer needed the “confirmation” of the e-meter, and continued to bloviate at will. And Scientology was born.

        • Qbird

          I am glad to hear you have survived your involvement with the COS.
          Good to know that even after a lifetime of Scn.
          a person can actually get Ronald outta their head.
          and continue onward.

    • chukicita

      Pull up a couch and make yourself at home. *passes popcorn*

      Nobody’s going to say “this is the session” so just tell your stories and give your opinions at your will.

      • EricS

        Thanks chukicita

    • April

      *twists EricS’s arm*

    • Douglas D. Douglas
    • Do tell!

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      Dish !! I’m getting my popcorn out. Welcome to the Bunker!!!

  • chukicita

    A relation who is peripherally aware of my Scn-watching mentioned she’d seen an episode of Leah’s show:
    Clips of Scientology events are what really caught her eye:

    “…a cross between a Soviet propaganda film (especially the giant Mao pic of Hubbard) and an Amway convention. Really cheesy and strange.”

  • Newiga

    Sorry if this has been posted already but I found this on Instagram. F5 Gave me a chuckle. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf8fe8e1e66e967f2800ba9c7cf1a2aec8875cd3c13e74b25780c041b2f12535.png

    • Nat-leficent

      Nitwit.

  • BronxLaurie10

    “That final burst of glory and freedom that is the state of Clear…”

    The jokes write themselves.

  • gtsix

    So Captain David Miscavige, COB RTC now refers to him as “Ron”. That’s awful familiar.

    • Michael Leonard Tilse

      It’s ok, inside he still thinks of LRH as “Master Top.”

  • Lucille Austero
    • stillgrace2

      They both have on their “big being” gaze. So serious; it’s hilarious.

      • Harpoona Frittata

        It’s a very candid and revealing pic of a bromance that’s so electric with passion that you’re only left to wonder who got topped first after their magical ride together!

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      His sparkle brony?

      ETA: Wait, I would like to retract that name and replace it with glitterbrony. Can I do that?

    • Qbird

      lol ~ seriously.
      oh & you’re still just warming up, aren’t you, Lucille Austero?!

  • flyonthewall

    Nice documentary on Netflix called Deprogrammed. Ted Patrick is the main subject but Rick Ross is featured too as are a few ex and current cult members. Scientology is mentioned a few times. It’s really good. TBH, I came away not thinking too highly of Patrick. His methods seemed to be…unsound.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOTtvY_B6Do

    • His methods were often counter-productive and always morally questionable. ‘Deprogramming’ is best left to history.

      • flyonthewall

        at least the forcible, kidnappy, violent kind

        • Also the psychologically oppressive kind. It it’s wrong for Scientology to manipulate people, it’s wrong for anyone to do it. The ends do not justify the means.

          Also, Patrick’s methods were often counter-productive. Resorting to force demonstrated to victims exactly what their guru had warned them about – that the wider world was sinful and would try to recover them in a corrupt fashion.

          They would tell Patrick what they thought he wanted to hear, then flee back to the group at the first opportunity. The deprogrammer could bemoan a rare failure and walk away, already well-paid in advance.

    • Jimmy3

      What if I told you Netflix is a cult… How long would it take to put your brain back together?

    • Qbird

      making this for later, flyonthewall. thx

      I trade you. here. for that humor down below, go to 3 fitty.

      https://youtu.be/f6LQjrBIw5k

      Is he your brother?

      • flyonthewall

        lol god I hope not. Looks like Joey from Full House

        • Jimmy3

          ✂️🇮🇹🚫

      • Sherbet

        This is so bizarre. I thought this guy was long gone, and this past weekend I heard an ad for him. He’s doing a local show.

    • EmmaDaoust

      Fortunately, a lot of progress has been made and there’s much more information and understanding of the complexity of cult indoctrination. Parents were terrified and desperate, and no one had any answers.

      • flyonthewall

        I know, I feel for them. Can’t even imagine

  • Lucille Austero
    • Nat-leficent
      • Michael Leonard Tilse

        Does he come with a unicorn head ornament and the rainbow poop accessory?

        Of course he does!

        • Sherbet

          Are you kidding? Accessories are SOLD SEPARATELY.

          • Michael Leonard Tilse

            Depends on what “come” means in that sentence.

            • Sherbet

              I said “sold.”

          • Lucille Austero

            That is right, Sherb. Accessories are available and sold separately. I’m thinking there will be massive interest in my Sparklepony’s BF Tom’s Bridle & Bit Expansion Kit! 🐎

            • Sherbet

              Guaranteed to make Tom whinny!

            • Michael Leonard Tilse

              “Expansion Kit.” Snerk.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Laugh !! I think you should include a tiara of course.

            • Harpoona Frittata

              And coming soon on Netflix, “Jenna and Her Trick Sparklepony Show” (Warning: not suitable for viewing by young thetans)

      • Lucille Austero

        Thank you for this!

        • Nat-leficent

          You’re welcome 🙂

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        Wow, sparkleypony is sparkly!

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Lucille, COB is not a #sparklepony so stop saying he is.

      • Lucille Austero

        But. But. #tinysparklepony? 🐎

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          You have been honored. Ever notice how seldom we see J. Swift and OTVIIIisGrrr8! in the same roompost?

          • Lucille Austero

            They are both wonderful! I think I like J. Swift a little bit better though. To be honest.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              Not as intense. Or at least, not in the same way…

      • J. Swift

        LOL. Chocolate Velvet spotted COB as a sparkle pony years ago.

    • J. Swift

      Lucille, #sparklepony is the best new name for COB ever. I really like what you’re doing with it on Twitter. This is a name that all of us can make stick. The guy really is a sparkle pony.

      • Lucille Austero

        *kicks floor* *shuffle shuffle* Aw gee, thanks! I heart you too!!

  • 5 Feet Long and Luminous
    • flyonthewall

      >insert Simpsons reference here<

  • itsIBBy

    Ring around the poley
    Davey claims its holy
    gasping, panting,
    they all pass out

    *sees self out*

    • Qbird

      no, don’t go… I’m singing along with you, Ibby.

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      Clap clap clap !!!

  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    Everything is bigoted, hateful, and just plain wrong with today’s Joking & Degrading attacks upon Source magazine, our copyrighted three-swings-of-the-needle religious technology, and the Great Humanitarian Mr. David Miscavige. For starters, in 2016 we in Scientology packed infinity into twelve months. That’s like squeezing Father Time himself into a pair of tight pants, but we did it because we had to. At stake was the agonized future of every man, woman, child, and zebra upon this planet.

    And then there were the trillionty of ad impressions and hundreds of millions of people the world over who signed up for Scientology courses and bought billions of Scientology books. Was this reported by the Psych-Wog media? No.

    We in Scientology also ended crime on a global basis by distributing eleventy billion copies of The Way to Happiness. But was this reported in wog media? No it was not. Instead, Scientology organizations faced attacks and japery and we were pilloried in the media and on television shows. The Psych Media attacked us relentlessly and withheld vital facts about what is true for Scientology. Example: Scientology Media Productions almost made a film — and it would have if the camera had not been sabotaged by SMERSH.

    The Psych-Wog Media distorts stories about Scientology, Donald Trump, Russian Intelligence, and even historical events. And this is why the next hard-hitting issue of Freedom Magazine will, once and for all very decisively PROVE that Pearl Harbor was a lie:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e9e0ae847d0364317c5ea5436022765fd961e6317a4effa3fdc31075004bdc50.jpg

    • Jimmy3

      Pearl Harbor *is* a lie. You call that a bomb? Try Battlefield Earth.

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      That map and route are hilarious.

      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

        Not to give Freedom’s upcoming story away, but the attack was secretly launched from Upstate New York via the Panama Canal:

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1d58462b9c479ab177051bd7a9d2904318bd61c0cd53f2571e2ae822101fe7e4.png

        • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

          FOFL !!!!!!!!!

        • Sherbet

          To which millions of Canadians responded, “Tora, tora, tora, eh?”

          • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

            You are truly hilarious !!! You always make me laugh, but this was priceless !!!

            • Sherbet

              Thank you! I hesitated, because I thought it was a pretty lame comment, but I’m glad you laughed.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              NO…that was not lame, that was freaking hysterical, especially with the “eh” added. You should do stand up.

            • Sherbet

              Aw, gorsh…

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              I’m serious, you really are witty. I like witty a lot, it takes a lot more intelligence than “blue humor” which I don’t like at all.

            • Sherbet

              Thank you.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              🙂

        • Missionary Kid

          Blame the Newfies!

          • Frodis73

            My first thought was why is MK blaming this on dogs?

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Some wog has said that the Japanese could have flown west to attack Pearl Harbor. But this is just more wog stupidness. If planes flew west from Japan they would keep flying into OUTER SPACE. At which point the tractor beams from the Implant Station on Mars would grab them. The planes would be pulled to Mars. This is why the wog theory that the Japanese flew West falls apart. It’s just more wog dub in. This scientific diagram clearly explains it all:

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57202151ae0f4d446bb2e4e2a075c847f0e97abf44a5fa0f7d9374d192380f34.png

          • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

            Hilarious !!

    • Simi Valley

      Glad you included zebras!

      • My thoughts exactly!

        How often have I sat there and wondered, sadly, whether anyone would think of the zebras? And now, someone did.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      I had little sympathy for your plight, until you mentioned japery. And gosh darn it, you’re right, no one deserves that.

      From now on I will plug my ears and shut my eyes and close my mind whenever anybody starts out a sentence with “Can you believe those Scientologists are…”

      Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of empathy!!!!

  • Panopea Abrupta

    “$cientology is telling it’s members:
    Things have never been better.”

    True, dat –
    For those who have left,
    those who are contemplating leaving,
    and for those innocents who might otherwise
    fall into the abyss so carefully prepared by
    Lord Hubris Von Tilden

    An excerpt from Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXIX

    O benefit of ill! Now I find true.
    That better is by evil still made better

    It might have been written by an Ex-$cientologist.

    ——————————————————–
    They say you can’t judge a book by the cover.
    Looking at Monique Yingling, I, however, think that, in the case of DM,
    you can judge a crook by his cover.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6ee7cd006a90627be0a3f83b62b06989f7ba4e9dac7bb2dcc1600818999597d.png

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/016c17b43426cd3c47393cd0055b5d308567907fd42db8eb1109b3535cf64acd.jpg

    Who is behind the eight-ball, now, Dave?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f4154c0d732ff5806d7559463c368fee753643f564d57e6f324bd9e312983e0.jpg

    • ExCult.Jan

      “in the case of DM, you can judge a crook by his cover.”

      What Pan said.

  • OTD:OutTheDoor

    Standing room only for Kasem’s human rights gig. Just TRY to find an empty seat.

  • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

    “You emerge in fantastic shape as a being”
    Wow…as opposed to emerging in fantastic shape as say, an orangutang? F5 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/216d1ec4d07407338b9343e8fa84e743ad7f59ae8e9ab34ee0b9fa5dd2a08618.jpg

    • April

      Orangutangs are awesome. And they exist. Not so much for the supposed “homo novus.”

      • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

        Tis true….tis true.

  • EricS

    “As a Clear, the reactive mind is forever vanquished — the source of all fears, anxieties and irrational thoughts has been conquered. And, in that victory, you will regain yourself. Your own basic beingness returns. Your true personality flourishes. ”

    And you weigh that against the supposed necessity to do any or all of the entirety of the rest of the “bridge”.

    Cognitive dissonance much?

    If you can reconcile those two things at all, then you are every scam artists dream.

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      BTW waiting for you to tell your story….or did I miss it downthread ? My popcorn is getting cold.

      • EricS

        Hi Kay.

        I have really not told my story yet, so you are good. I have made a few comments downthread that may indicate where I am coming from on some topics.
        I am not particularly sure that I have a cohesive story to tell. I have experiences and opinions that will likely come out over time.
        However, if you have any particular questions, just ask.

        • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

          I will be looking forward to your comments.

  • Scream Nevermore

    OK, I’m sold, let me get my chequebook out….. Not.

  • Vaquera

    #sparklepony isn’t fetch.
    #sparklepony is going to happen.

  • Lucille Austero
    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      Laugh ! Yup I’m sure this is his fave…. he likes bling….a lot. He’ll probably start bedazzling his faux naval uniforms now because he’s run out of room for all of those sparkly ribbons and award pins.
      BTW I’ve missed you….good to see you back in the bunker.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      When you pronounce it spar-klep-unny (emphasis on second syllable), it’s like he’s some kind of evil alien’s majordomo.

      • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

        “Captain I believe we have a KLEP warbird uncloaking off the starboard side” Yup could work.

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Streaming media was also a Scientology launchpad this year, with three ads coursing through the digiverse…

    Digiverse was a new one on me, so I looked it up. Aside from some predictably commercial sites, the number one hit for “Digiverse” was an alternate universe in the Lego Ninjago series. If Scientology is now targeting alternate Lego universes, we need an expert to counter their efforts.

    FLY!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86711fc4edf3c1595b7bcec89a998aca7c10a0a09a25bbae44f9d134dfd65238.jpg

    • flyonthewall

      on it!

    • Lucille Austero

      Sparklepony of the Digiverse!

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        When pop cultures collide!

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      That is funny. I assumed that was a bogus word, but was too lazy to look it up.

    • Jimmy3

      Also a thing from Digimon, which was the most blatant of the cheap Pokemon rip-offs in the 90s. Take something that’s crazy popular, tweak it only slightly and charge even more for it. Fitting for Scientology.

  • richelieu jr

    Do you sometimes think you are getting the run-around from some hard-ass little dick, running in circles instead of crossing some celestial Bridge?

    Well, fear no more! Come to Flag in Clearwater, and participate inour “Super Power” programme. For just a small fortune you will be forced to run around a pole for so long that you may wear a groove in the groove that the last SuperPowerClear wore. In the groove that the other GoPro overs grooved before them! Thrilling isn’t it?

    And grok to the Super Power Cognition that you are doing exactly what every other properly ass-Hatted Clear-Cleared Scilon from Asho to Chicago as well as every OT from Miskogee to OTIII to OTVIII FreeWindbags to TC’s and CoB’s line of used wives:

    Every single Homo Novus and those who as
    Ire, to Homoing their way to Novus-hood, from Body Routing to Body Dropping, is dong the same thing– It is just you, a sufferer the diseases of the very rich (whether you can afford to or not), are doing it Mina purer fashion.

    Get it?

    No? Well, maybe the next time around the pole, Einstein.

    Ever get the feeling you’ve been here before?

    The SeaOrg “We Come Back!”

    Now, how smart is that?

    The centre can only hold as long as you refuse too get the joke, folks.

    And the (very expensive) yolk is on you!

  • Liberated

    o/t…you never hear anything about the “sunshine rundown ” anymore, attest to clear then go touch a building. What’s the matter didn’t it work?

    • Simi Valley

      It must have not been pricy enough.

    • Scream Nevermore

      Maybe too many people ran away once they were out in the fresh air?

  • Ann B Watson

    Oh I just cannot wait to get pumped and receive a tacky bracelet and help by going clear,the ” final burst of glory and freedom”,but wait another burst for the bank account because now I have OT8 Truth Revealed,hold that one up to a mirror Miscavige more like Lies Reviled because Truth will not seek him out ever.And whoopie!I get to see the lit pole in the Dark what a revelation.Running around that thing in sunlight or moonlight is enough to make me see Stars!As for the hype on streaming media how many throw TWTH in the trash after one glance.Just because millions saw your idiotic ad does not mean it was watched dm.Thank you Tony. I wish I could be in Denver.One of these years…💘

    • Liberated

      My wish is to find a “used” clear bracelet at a flea market or garage sale.
      My postulate is powerful…I know I’ll make it go right!

      • Dave Reams

        Clear bracelets are pretty rare! After over 50 years of Scientology the number of cleared is in the thousands not millions!

      • Ann B Watson

        You Will Prevail.I saw a platanim one once back in the day.As Clear bracelets go I have to say much heavier and classier than today’s.But no way is that thing going around my wrist now,I would make it melt!💘

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Maybe Scientology has to make up good news, but we sure don’t have to!

    Yesterday was a lazy Sunday, so I braved weather and traffic to head down to the evil, evil city (LA). I wanted to check out the location for the new Philboard (and make a few other stops). Here’s a few images to share.

    The new location is really good! Much better (in my opinion) than the others. Right on a busy stretch of Sunset Boulevard, and basically a stone’s throw from Scientology Media Productions (SMP):

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/74bf2fe5df717c871b269dac383c435da34af653274add2d300e77e96a6f6980.jpg

    Here’s a look at this from the other direction. I have labeled the board and SMP. (And couldn’t resist pointing out ht you can see the Hollywood sign from here!):

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/647e69a24bd80ede196482eb16c08e0295afe7e78df5e3cf00231c37a626c56a.jpg

    I was amused to see that just a block or so away, a film/video shoot was underway on top of a hip ‘n trendy laundromat. Most likely this was for a music video. As I said, this is a very busy stretch of Sunset:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aba2bab5c3181e311e688537d5b672768c51487df3961bb53aefce2104c6a085.jpg

    And as I was crossing the 101 freeway on Barham (where many people leave after visiting Universal Studios), I could not miss this prominently placed billboard:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/46a19f92f0430f8cfc3772aedbfbcdc2f3bbec14e3870c9eae0db99b465566e8.jpg

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      This is excellent, DDD! Thank you so much for thinking of us.

    • Frodis73

      It would be great if the billboard ended up in somebody’s movie or tv show, it would be remembered forever!

      • Jimmy3

        And then many years from now, a lonely clam calls their parents after watching a rerun of Real Housepartners of Sunset: Extreme Design Challenge: Season 3 Cake Battle Reunion Special

        • stillgrace2

          I like it. Hey Jimmy, how’s LeBron feeling? Tonight’s the night.

          • Jimmy3

            I have no idea. That guy never returns my texts.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          Please don’t tell Mrs. D about this show. She will make us binge watch it.

    • So cool… thank you! Good that the building is still standing

  • honest question: have any street magicians trolled the Scientology community?

    i’ve been working on my sleight of hand and thinking next time i’m approached* i’ll blow some minds with the ol’ “watch me pull a (blank) out of this (blank), etc” while calmly explaining that i’m from the past, know all about Engram Jesus, have already completed the future OTIX & X and served my billion years, so really just want to chillax this time around.

    *ya, right. they usually run the other way 🙁

  • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

    OT: In scilon celeb gossip, Vonni’s got himself a new lady. She does not appear to be a scientologist, but her IG feed has been getting love bombed by the Ribisi-Masterson axis for the last 6-8 months or so. She’s an interior designer, so I guess she fits in well with that “lifestyle” set in LA–especially the crow adjacent to the Ribisis. Kinda wondering if she did work for Beck and Marissa and that was her entree point. But I’m just speculating. Anyway, good luck, sister!

    Also, if the world were to outlaw the word “amazing” tomorrow, Gay Ribisi would be left speechless.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e493cd8318ac5656b4d4ff8ba573e5e025afb22233603a9ef246f5ddada323e0.png

    • Vonni needs to eat a cheeseburger, stat!

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        Yeah, he is looking pretty gaunt.

      • Observer

        I wonder if he is wracked with doubt.

    • Sherbet

      She resembles Natalie Portman.

      • jazzlover

        She wishes!

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        Really? I don’t see it.

        • Sherbet

          🙁 I’m crazy.

          • stillgrace2

            … but in a good, funny way.

            • Sherbet

              😀

          • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

            Only in the good ways, Sherb. ; )

      • Harpoona Frittata

        Yes, and he resembles a ferret that I once had.

        • beauty for ashes

          I’m thinking more like a tow truck driver I once had, that’s weird lookin ferret Harpoona.

  • stillgrace2

    This stupid sentence: “We packed ‘infinity’ into twelve calendar months.” SMH It’s one thing for David Miscavige to say it out loud and then another level of stupidity for him to actually write it down, print it, then publish it! Pure rubbish. Is it Tuesday yet? Seems like an infinity away.

    • flyonthewall

      no one knows what it means but it’s provocative! Get’s the people moving!

      • Jimmy3

        Will Ferrell -> Blades of Glory -> Jay-Z -> Kanye West -> Kim Kardashian -> Insurance fraud -> fraud -> fraud fraud -> Scientology

        I like when you bring it back on topic fly

    • they shoulda jammed infinity into January-February, leaving the rest of the year for “… and beyond!”

      • Observer

        So that’s why 2016 sucked so much.

        ETA: this was meant as a reply to stillgrace.

    • Nat-leficent

      I can see it from my porch.

  • nottrue
    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      I bet Tony would have liked the heads-up on this.

      • Sherbet

        I just watched the John McGhee video you posted downthread. All those scientologists milling around, futzing around with the poster and the cameras, to clean that one little strip between the fences? Are they serious? I could do it in 15 minutes with a rake, and I have bad knees.

        • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

          There’s even (semi-joshing) speculation that Scientology Inc were responsible for emptying that lone bag of rubbish over the railing in dead of night 😀

    • itsIBBy

      I’m at odds over this, because on the one hand, I’m from Los Gatos originally so seeing Holy City get revived is cool… but its the Duggans… which is icky

      • stillgrace2

        I know how you feel. My friends that live in the area are wary.

    • Nat-leficent

      Was Trish making glass Buddha heads because she believes El Ronny was Buddha? XD

      • beauty for ashes

        I just remember the Alien heads, because I thought she was going to do a fake white Christmas tree decorated with them, then she would also be using Chanukah colors. If she also used Buddha heads that would also just be gloriously wrong.

    • Kestrel

      “Yes, can you make me two triangles with a serpent-like ‘S’ intertwined in them? I have an example I can show you. Oh, you already have some made up?”

  • Lousy Ratatouille

    The description of the Super Power Rundown doesn’t appeal to me at all.
    I would understand something like:
    “You could be better than you are
    You could be swinging on a star.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6BqNJS-dXQ

  • Vaquera

    Damn your village, Lucille.
    Intellectually I know #Sparklepony is not a mini horse, but now I can’t stop humming…..
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_NbBGrBxRhs

  • nottrue
    • Observer

      “This is the only religious statement I’ll make, except about people who have left Scientology and spoken out–them, I’ll coyly spread a lot of dark, vague innuendo about.”

      💩💩💩

      • stillgrace2

        Skankhunt was spewing truth not hate. Put your glasses on, Kirstie.

    • jazzlover

      Can someone please shut her down by telling her that scientology isn’t a religion?

    • Frodis73

      Wish i could reply…Id ask about Warren Jeffs, Heaven’s Gate, Jonestown, etc.

    • i’m sure those fine folks at the Westboro Baptist Church appreciate the support

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      “I never met a religion I didn’t like.”

      That has to be the most ignorant, intellectually laziest comment I have read in a while. But I guess this means Kirstie is up for everything that every religion ever has supported, including the ones that say women have to be quiet.

      • flyonthewall

        What about the United Churches of Baby Skinners? Is it ok to hate them?

        • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

          First United or just United CoBS?

          • flyonthewall

            only a UCOBSer would ask that question

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              I only support the Tied-for-First Indipendent CoBS, so get off my back, mister.

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              Those UCOBSers are a bunch of splitters!

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          Orthodox, maybe. But Reform? Hate away.

        • Jimmy3

          Seymour!!!! Seymour!!!!!!! Get the gold chalices ready, Seymour!!!! It’s time for communion!!!!

          • flyonthewall

            Mother, that sailor suit doesn’t fit anymore!

    • Harpoona Frittata

      Krustie keeps experimenting with how not to say the “S” word, but still get in her little cult cheer leading bit. She’s a lover of all religions, which is just great. However, her own chosen religion is a jealous one that insists that she practice no other.

      Krustie and her co-cultists get their thetans all in a bunch whenever anyone calls whackatology a cult and there’s just about nothing (except saying “Xenu” three times) that throws their TR’s out as bad when you do it.

    • Joe

      Dear Kirstie,

      On behalf of all my ancient Aztec brothers and sisters who sincerely believed you had to cut the heart out of living human being or the sun wouldn’t come back, we thank you.

    • I never met a religion I didn’t like

      Except “independent scientology,” of course…

  • Frodis73

    Swoon! John Sweeney liked and RT’d me…and it wasn’t even about scientology. I so have a crush on that man.

    • flyonthewall

      You have Sweeney, I have Roaming Millenial

    • beauty for ashes

      Are you using this avi? Cause you might be leading him on a little bit! <3<3<3

  • DDisforDangerous

    Okay, now as is good a time as any to ask this: What’s with the extremely tacky gold stuff everywhere? Gold letters, gold chalices, gold ‘swirly S’ medallions… It’s a very typical aesthetic.

    I know the sci-fi stuff is all Hubbard, but was this a development under Miscaviage, maybe?

      • flyonthewall

        was this filmed in Trump Tower?

        • beauty for ashes

          Not enough Gold, and not yellow enough gold. it’s icky.

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

        I WANT A TINY GIRAFFE!!!

    • Lucille Austero
      • Douglas D. Douglas

        They could just add “Sparkly Little Pony” to this one:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv5CtTBCbh4

      • beauty for ashes

        Everytime, you come in….
        You are like the Sparklepony of the Bunker….
        I’m writing you a song, that’s all I got. I just watched Madonna’s rebel heart tour concert, and I’m pretty sure I can write a song and play electric guitar soon!

    • flyonthewall

      sparkle pony is so nouveau riche

    • What’sup

      You don’t like Clam Chic?

      There’s no accounting for taste.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      It’s classy. With a capital “K.”

    • Harpoona Frittata

      The right honorable Mr. Daveed MissedCabbage, holder of the holy trademarks, sole ring bearer of the treasury and final arbiter of all things ecclesiastical, has a very decided preference for thinly disguised Nazi symbols, motifs and mini-Nuremburg style staging. Add to that his formidable pompadour and subtract nothing from the heights of esteem to which he’s held by his steaming masses and you can begin to glimpse what a tiny section of your Eternity begins to look like to itself!

      These truly are days of wonder and miracles, so come, all ye facefull, with wallet in hand, credit cards on file and 1st born child ready to be martyred for the cause. The End Times are nigh and the Marcabians are near…everyone’s thetan needs be in this fight!

  • What’sup
    • Frodis73

      Aww, lucky you! I haven’t been around tiny kittens since a stray gave birth on my back porch 4 years ago. I like that one on the left with a lot of white on its face!!!

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      They’re pocket sized!

    • flyonthewall

      just don’t feed them after midnight

    • beauty for ashes

      Not me? shit! where did you get them??????

      • What’sup

        Rescue. Gotta get them to 1.1 kilo so they can be fixed and chipped and adopted. They’re on solid food now.

    • Ella Raitch

      Looks like kittehs are in a bird cage

      • What’sup

        No. Proper animal cage thingy.

        • Ella Raitch

          They’re so tiny

  • Observer

    Today is The Velociraptor’s second birthday. She tore into her birthday steak (an Observerhaus tradition) like her namesake, and it was gone in mere seconds.

    • flyonthewall

      Velociraptorhound doesn’t want to be fed, she wants to hunt

      • iampissed

        Throw a string on the dam thing and tow it around the house.

        • flyonthewall

          you are back from your mysterious hiatus! How was it? Full of mystery and intrigue I hope

          • iampissed

            More in lurk mode…having to deal with my Dads death and then 3 weeks later
            the passing of my Mother in Law. With my wife gone for a week on week 2.
            Play me a sad song Mr Fly…I’m getting better.

            • iampissed

              Or maybe a happy one.

            • flyonthewall

              Right right. They’ll be happy if you want happy, whatever. You can’t be cheap though or else you’ll end up w/some fiend who will cut your dick off and steal your watch. For a good quality whore you gotta be prepared to spend at least $1500 for the night.

            • flyonthewall

              ever think about getting a hooker?

            • iampissed

              Only you would do that….thanks for the smile on my face.
              I feel like I’m in the club.

            • flyonthewall

              Seriously. You don’t have to have sex with them. You can just talk, hold hands, cry on her shoulder. They won’t mind or judge you. They’re pro’s, they seen all kinds of crazy shit.

            • beauty for ashes

              Yeah, what about the last one, something about a trunk, and the river….?

            • beauty for ashes

              What? Holy crap, Sending you a shit ton of love and prayers and white light and (((((((hugs))))))))). I am so sorry for you two. Hold on to each other.<3<3<3 I wish I could send you a week of lasagnas.

            • iampissed

              Thank you beauty.

      • Observer

        Trust me–she wants to be fed.

  • RedShoeLady

    Kerri Kasem is a $cion?

    • Observer

      Yep.

    • iampissed

      Luke …use the Googles

  • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

    There’s been some mistake.

    Largest 25 Churches in the United States and Canada (ranked by membership)

    1. The Catholic Church – 67,515,016
    2. Southern Baptist Convention – 16,306,246
    3. The United Methodist Church – 7,995,456
    4. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – 5,779,316
    5. The Church of God in Christ – 5,499,875
    6. National Baptist Convention, U.S.A., Inc. – 5,000,000
    7. Evangelical Lutheran Church in America – 4,774,203
    8. National Baptist Convention of America, Inc. – 3,500,000
    9. Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) – 3,025,740
    10. Assemblies of God – 2,836,174
    11. African Methodist Episcopal Church – 2,500,000
    12. National Missionary Baptist Convention of America – 2,500,000
    13. Progressive National Baptist Convention, Inc. – 2,500,000
    14. The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod (LCMS) – 2,417,997
    15. Episcopal Church – 2,154,572
    16. Churches of Christ – 1,639,495
    17. Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America – 1,500,000
    18. Pentecostal Assemblies of the World, Inc. – 1,500,000
    19. The African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church – 1,443,405
    20. American Baptist Churches in the U.S.A. – 1,371,278
    21. United Church of Christ – 1,218,541
    22. Baptist Bible Fellowship International – 1,200,000
    23. Christian Churches and Churches of Christ – 1,071,616
    24. The Orthodox Church in America – 1,064,000
    25. Jehovah’s Witnesses – 1,069,530

    https://thelightnc.hellobeautiful.com/8430891/what-are-the-fastest-growing-churches-in-the-u-s/

    • Lucille Austero
      • Liberated

        Sparklepony say “neigh…neigh!”

      • Qbird

        sad, mad, glad ~ ?

        He’s decked out in a fine fine suit, with the light just right & a touch o’ paint,
        & the angle of the shot gives an illusion of height. Nice shot.

        The world is at his a$$, this makes #SparklePony glad.

    • Jimmy3

      These people fit infinity into a calendar year. Surely they could fit their millions of members in between the header and the start of the list. Check again.

    • chukicita

      We worked this out earlier. Scientology has $47,000,000.00 members. It’s all about the decimal points and the dollar signs. So misunderstood.

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

        Genius! And hilarious 😀

  • Vaquera

    “How To Find A Ruin Everytime”
    Is that really the best way to “bring up Scientology to people?”
    You should be afraid. f5
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/94fd70d5c9604cd9f5c1c0cdc70f93098c92ab7ed94b54941e4e63ba579d4224.jpg

    • Observer

      Few ruins are as ruinous as Scientology.

    • Jimmy3

      Is this for ex/critics or active members? Because I would sign up. People tell me to shut up when I randomly joke about it.

      • Nat-leficent

        Shut up.

        • Jimmy3

          Easy for you, right

          • Nat-leficent
            • flyonthewall

              american horror story. I really tried to like that show but just couldn’t

            • Nat-leficent

              And after Friday, everyday will be American Horror Story.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Yes it will. I am thinking of going to DC for the protest march this week if I can swing it.

            • Frodis73

              Do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to be going.

            • flyonthewall

              Don’t lose heart. There are people investigating him and his Russian connections. It’s not over

            • beauty for ashes

              I’m scared Nat, maybe all the weirdos with Bunkers were right. I have no ammo, or guns, probably not even a whole box of canned food. I’m screwed!

            • beauty for ashes

              The last season I attempted to watch was the circus season, but the clown did me in. I have a major girl crush on Sarah Paulson and have since she did that show with Matthew Perry, Studio something? She does a killer dolphin noise. She would kill it at one of my family functions! 🙂

            • beauty for ashes

              holy crap I forgot how terrifying she was until just NOW.

        • Vaquera

          I tried four different come backs to J3, but words got in the way.

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner
      • Mockingbird

        My role model.

    • Rasha

      “Join Us For The ‘How To Ruin Everything For Everyone’ Seminar”

      FIFY

    • What’sup

      How To Get Laughed Out Of The Room Everytime.

      • Kestrel

        How To Get Your Ass Kicked in the Parking Lot of a Texas Honky-Tonk.

    • Nat-leficent

      Step 1. Point to yourself
      Step 2. Finished

    • Kestrel

      My ex-wife could conduct this seminar. She told me exactly what was wrong with me.

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      Is this for real ??? If it is, it’s creepy.

      • Vaquera

        Yes, it is.
        Yes, it is.

        • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

          Wow. I shouldn’t be surprised because it’s Scientology, but still this is disturbing. I suppose they will teach people to yell “what are your crimes” at people, or “baby raper” or something else equally as charitable/religious being that they are truly a religion….not.

      • Nat-leficent

        The evangelical Christians that raised me used to hold seminars all the time about how to “save” new people. It always involved preying on comforting the vulnerable and explaining Jesus could solve ANY problem if you believed in the church enough XP

        • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

          I hate that kind of thinking, and I really loathe the late night preachers who do the same thing, except that they promise that Jesus will make you rich if you give them a covenant offering of a large donation, (the more you give,the more faith you are showing of course) which in return you will receive an anointed hankie, or red tinged “holy oil” to pour on your bills,etc. It’s sickening.

          • Nat-leficent

            Those people know they are ripping people off. The yokels of my old cherch were true believers. Doesn’t make it right and didn’t make it any easier to leave but those folks were as ignorant and dangerous as they come.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              I’m sure the parishioners of your church were true believers…..with, as you say, a lot of ignorance. That IS dangerous, and that would be a tough religion to leave I would think.

              I agree that these late night people are just plain crooks. They just memorize random scriptures that can be twisted just enough to indicate that God will give them money and throw them at people who are vulnerable like the elderly.

        • Ella Raitch

          My nana is a JW – she explained the door knocking to us by saying ‘if there was a bomb on the street, you’d want to let everyone know so they can save themselves’

          • Nat-leficent

            Exactly how they think! It would be evil NOT to spread the word

    • iampissed

      I think you just found it.

    • nottrue
      • What’sup

        We found a ruin!

    • Liberated

      I was in CO$…. that’s my ruin, and anything I want to “bring up” to talk about, I’m very happy doing it right here in the bunker.

      • Harpoona Frittata

        Xenu knows that’s right! Give me a worldwide address directory for all of the $cilon houses of prey and I’ll find society’s ruin for you every single time!

        On a more serious note, that poster and the $cilon mindset that goes with it are one of the best reasons ever to keep your kids and impressionable young adult kids far, far away from them as $cilons are always working either the get-your-money scam or the free labor conscription plan.

        • Liberated

          That poster looked to me like a ruse or a front group inviting people to “get back in” and don’t worry “we’ll answer all your questions.”
          “Do they really keep families apart…no son, people make their own choices” it’s just a group to cover for the cult’s crimes and discount the truth.
          Yes, keep your kids as far away as possible!

    • Don’t forget to bring your weapon with you!
      ..
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3cb6ddf87575d2ee1d1ebcf33385013cb9ced06c11fcc2c7649921425f4f19d0.jpg

      Sure, give them Joburg Sec Check too!

      • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

        LRH you are a pervert.

  • iampissed

    Hey there’s a sign coming up…..I may not post much. But I’ll be dammed if you don’t think
    I will try to be the first …well…second selfie.

    • Liberated

      Countin’ on ya!

    • iampissed

      Dam I said it would be my first and only selfie…I’m talking to myself again.

    • iampissed

      Dam now I know how kristy feels.

  • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

    “A constant of every campaign was the social media component which resulted in massive awareness with more than 120 million ad impressions on Facebook; 40 million on Twitter; and 73 million impressions — coupled with 1.9 million video views — on YouTube.”

    OK…maybe I’m just dumb about advertising lingo,but does anyone what an “ad impression” is? Also, I checked youtube, and that ad has been seen around 980,000 times, not 1.9 million.

    • Kestrel

      Multipy 980,000 by 2 and you get …

      • Free Minds, Free Hearts

        Ha! They think 2 people watch every time you are on YouTube?

        • Kestrel

          Well, most people have two eyes, and isn’t it all about getting eyeballs on the ad?

          • Free Minds, Free Hearts

            Yes, that must be it!

      • iampissed

        Yes by 2 OSA.

      • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

        Yeah I noticed that…….hilarious.

    • iampissed

      There are impressions and unique impressions
      ETA….OSA could just hit all day.

    • Lucille Austero
      • What’sup

        It’s good to have you back. I missed your snark.

        • Nat-leficent

          It’s pure high grade stuff — her snark *sniff sniff*

        • Lucille Austero

          KK. Now I ❤ you too!

          • What’sup

            Well, that’s a change of direction.

      • Harpoona Frittata

        Ooooh, how sparklie!

      • beauty for ashes

        Davey looks great in sparkles!!!!!!!

      • AntoniaW

        Oh God. If I show this to my horse-loving daughter she’ll have nightmares for a month.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Miscavige-tyke is adorbs! Especially when he is so sparkly!

        I had to pull up this blast from the past. Sparkle Pony in his big boy play clothes:

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/51e0c0f84c936aa2a5fe80ff2a8bedc6396ad6c756ff62836b8fd19506c3c8d1.jpg

        • Ella Raitch

          From rocking horses to sparkle ponies, his universe is expanding x infinity

      • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

        I just logged back on so I missed this earlier…..hilarious !!!!!

      • J. Swift

        XD. 1,000 internets awarded for creativity & lulziness.

  • Vaquera

    “Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Narconon, But Were Afraid To Ask” f5
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ba3ca6c05d757d8f82ab6126e482a473d50ce179157af010f1423ce320c829ea.jpg

    • Nat-leficent

      I’m more afraid to ask now.

      • Vaquera
        • Nat-leficent

          Lol, I remember that scene. *God, so uncomfortable remembering how much I love/used to love? Woody Allen*

          • Vaquera

            He grabbed my boobies when I was 22….and I laughed out loud.
            He wasn’t amused.

            • Nat-leficent

              Now that sounds like a story!

            • Vaquera

              I told it here a couple of years ago. Shoot me an email.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Really? That piques my interest. How interesting….he put his hands on you and flipped his saliva on me….and we know each other through this blog. It’s one of this six degrees of separation things….we just need to find the links left to lead to Kevin Bacon.

              BTW how vile that he grabbed your breasts…….yuck

            • Vaquera

              No, it was hilarious. We were on a date. Right out of one of his movie scripts.

              Edit: It’s not funny that a man grabbed my bits. I was 22 with a sense of humor, a sense of myself and I felt like Mariel Hemingway’s character which is why I laughed.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Well I’m glad you laughed at him…..that’s a win !!!!

            • Vaquera

              It was an innate reaction.

          • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

            I agree with you….I used to love Woody Allen…now I’m creeped out by him. I was in NYC about 5 years ago with Mr. Kay, and he booked a table at the Carlyle hotel for a jazz group. He got a table very close to the stage, and by close I mean the middle members of the jazz ensemble could have literally picked up my water glass or noshed on the dinner rolls and I could have touched their feet. Mr. Kay didn’t tell me who the group was. They file in…all except one musician for which there was an empty chair RIGHT across from me. Then….Woody Allen walks in with his clarinet..he was the missing musician. Sooooo…..they play for about an hour and I am so close to him that his main view was my face,and my main view was his. We made eye contact several times and it was just weird. Had it been in the good old days when I was a huge fan, it would have been cool, instead it was creepy. THEN he cleaned his clarinet with a cleaner cloth while on stage, (really that was kind of inappropriate or at least not classy since they were so close) and while removing the cloth, he flipped his saliva on me and my dessert. Very odd evening.

            BTW he’s not that great of a jazz player IMO.

            • Liberated

              I used to really love his movies too, but I read Mia’s memoir “What Falls Away”….and I definitely believe her.
              Mia’s mother talked to her about Woody’s inappropriate touching and staring of their adopted daughter and so did other people. When he would come over to the house the first thing he would do was take Dylan to the bedroom get in underwear only and “wrestle”, when Mia told him she didn’t like it Woody told her it was her illness and there was nothing wrong with it.
              Plus, he was screwing Soon-yi behind Mia’s back the entire time….yeah, that’s about as creepy as ya get.
              The only reason Woody’s not in jail is because Mia didn’t want a seven year old child to be forced to testify.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Yes he definitely has some serious problems. He was also obsessed with Miley Cyrus when she starred in Hannah Montana and said he never missed an episode. THAT is a big red flag IMO.

            • Celebrity spit is so unappetizing.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Yes..truly it is. I didn’t finish the dessert.

          • beauty for ashes

            ruined! SMDH I loved sleeper too.

  • Panopea Abrupta

    Those numbers so casually tossed around in
    International $cientology News are meaningless.
    Here, Dave, try these:

    How many $cientologists does it take to change a light-bulb?
    47 –
    15 are in the RPF
    16 more are in the RPF’s RPF.
    4 have blown
    3 are too busy writing letters to some people who visted the Org once
    in 1967, 1984 and 1989 respectively.
    They have been tracked down to Patagonia, Tasmania and Ulan Bator.
    2 are hustling passersby outside who studiously avoid them.
    One is writing up a Knowledge Report.
    Two are in Flag going insane while running round a pole.
    Four ARE hatted for light-bulbs but three of them are busy screaming
    orders at the fourth, a junior Staff member who is 78, broke, ill and
    joined staff last week

    Why did the DM cross the road?
    Because he is chicken

    Someone mentioned a bunch of $cientology billboards in Sacramento last night.
    Was this one?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bff08105d874aedec2ae589a1ae096fa0f3a936ad0e69eab2c8f99f0d031d55b.jpg

    Here we see Reg putting in a shift:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8bf83d921228304caae3059895ee092f032ea46eced1a959bf0a3649efcc48ee.jpg

    • beauty for ashes

      In other words, just bigger and bigger guns keep coming out to support this has been attention seeking actress in her quest for money using her former church.
      Me I’d probably just stay home, get Hollywood fat, and hang out with my handsome husband while I live on my residuals. One thing about Leah, though she HATES hanging out with her family and being comfy, and her flashy lifestyle obviously requires a constant revenue stream.
      **sarcasm**

  • What’sup
    • chukicita

      If you hear any noise, it’s just me and the boys…

      I could run around a pole to this. Wonder what kind of soundtrack Dave’s got?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSERB93GYfw

      • What’sup

        I can dig Chucky baby.

    • JJ

      I thought they were supposed to run around a palm tree?

      • Graham

        When they ran round a palm tree it was punishment. Now they’re running in the dark round an illuminated pole it’s a sacred mystery. Go figure.

  • Vaquera

    Apologies for the multiple posts tonight. I’m in a sharing mood.

    Paging Baby. Dianetics. Were you there? f5
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f672304bf0f85cb6e8b447111d645e0a84049b32ec624b1180347a064af6cb38.jpg

    • beauty for ashes

      I almost missed the Dianetics display! Thought how cute for Baby…..until!

      • Vaquera

        She’s my favorite hookah vaping sprite.

    • flyonthewall

      ever find anything out about the gun you wanted?

      • Sent them a message on FB. Heard nothing back yet. I will probably end up buying it anyway.

      • What’sup

        You two should start a magazine.

        Shrimps n Ammo.

        • flyonthewall

          i’d subscribe to that

  • AntoniaW

    O/T but: I’m off to Egypt next month, passing through the Fayoum. Does anyone know if Narconon is still operating there? http://www.cairoscene.com/LifeStyle/Church-of-Scientology-in-Egypt
    – because if so, I can try to do my small bit by telling regional security and the mosque/madrasah that they belong to the “Church” of Scientology and disbelieve in the existence of the Prophet Isa (Jesus).

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      They still have a webpage up for the Cairo Narconon

      http://www.narconon.org/drug-rehab/egypt/

      • AntoniaW

        Oh. I’ll ask around when I get there.

    • FredEX2

      Be safe AntoniaW! Have a good trip.

  • Vaquera

    Caption contest: Leave the _______, take the ______. (f5)

    To add: forgot to add the actual quote, “Under the protection of the Mafia.”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42d0e83fca5c6479b479d1b8124fe8e1ca0432238e6da04daf59871ab9a6112b.jpg

    • Chee Chalker

      Leave the Dianetics, take the cannoli
      (Because really, you can’t improve on cannoli)

      • JaxNGold

        Lol…nice. Didn’t see this before I replied to Vaquera.

    • JaxNGold

      Leave the gun, take the cannoli. The Godfather 👍🍷

    • Vaquera

      Leave the dogma, take the family with you when you leave.

    • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

      Leave the building, take the contents of the cash register.

    • What’sup

      It’s in poor taste to come dressed as Shelly and her handlers.

  • Vaquera
  • flyonthewall

    some humor for those of you sweating the political situation in the US

    http://www.clickhole.com/article/troubling-report-us-intelligence-agencies-have-con-5325#1,

  • beauty for ashes

    I really want to do this to today’s picture of David Miscavige. I feel like it would somehow fit. F5
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b3cf4fa338711cdabcb987296808c3a2cf7abac55082187db0599a23951654c7.jpg

    • Liberated

      Bravo!

    • Kellykels_melbs

      LOL!

    • Ella Raitch

      Achey-breaky cult

    • Observer

      Joe Dirt!

    • Rasha

      Qui-Gon! NOOO!!!

  • Kellykels_melbs

    I’m just gonna leave this here of Mr John Alex Wood… who is trying to recruit members on Twitter via anti-psychiatry https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4c3fa7595409040646d6847c96566b266e999d873b64dd38f10a29d3e6f987e.jpg

    • Ella Raitch

      I’ve seen you out there on the twitter hustings Kels – great job

      • Kellykels_melbs

        Thank you kindly!

  • salin

    Great installment of the Underground Bunker. Farcical ‘results’, and images aimed at separating folks from their money, and greatly exaggerated claims of impact per half a billion “impressions” from the advertising.

    If you haven’t yet clicked Recommend (just below the comment count), if you appreciate the content take the second to click it. It is an upvote for the content, and for the post’s spark for the ensuing conversations in the comments section. We sit at 141 recommends – can we get that over 150? Higher? You have a vote, even if you are a non registered (on disqus) reader.

    As a reminder, I share an image of a recent Aurora (Northern Lights) because nature’s Space Opera is awesome and doesn’t require layers of courses and tens or hundreds of thousands investment to see/enjoy. Here is an image from earlier today in Finland: http://spaceweathergallery.com/indiv_upload.php?upload_id=132336&PHPSESSID=54ukhsnhl58i0kk3sceqgt71e0

  • Observer
    • Vaquera

      The seller.

    • Some Bunker posters from Ohio are probably being funny.

      • Jimmy3

        First time for everything, I guess.

    • salin

      Ignorance is bliss – and allows one to make nonsensical assertions.

    • MostSpecialAgent Joe McClaine

      I wrote to them, the seller isn’t ignorant, they know and want to put Scientology on the ad to get more views.
      That’s called keyword spamming and isn’t allowed on ebay. I thought about complaining to Ebay but Scientology needs all the stats it can get I suppose.

  • Observer
    • Interesting. The original sneakers have tiny wings though. Good find.

      • Observer

        They have a pair in my size. If they weren’t so expensive I’d buy them to wear to HowdyCon.

    • salin

      Probably worth under $30 – but OMG – exclusive for the Thousands of Dollars Priced Resurgence Run Down – so the price needs to be inflated – exponentially. *screaming run, run now, AWAY from the Resurgence Run Down*. Better yet run away from the whole thing.

    • Men’s 6? Miscavige must be cleaning out his closet.

  • Obsy, HowdyCon 2017 pics are brilliantly funny! Thanks.

    • Observer

      Tony found the pics and wrote the captions–all I did was the typing. 🙂

      • Jimmy3

        Really? I always thought that guy was from Ohio

  • What’sup
  • JJ

    Create and control energy… I produce gas and expel it on a daily basis myself, and I am very careful to do so in restrooms or outdoors or in empty store isles. Does that count? Golden Age Of Butt Tech?

  • FredEX2

    When no one was looking, Div. 6 Staffer,…Robert…blew right out the back door of the Ideal Org. and ran with all his might…towards total freedom…without so much as a single glance back…
    F5
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6426e75247a701c61fc1af9d367bdb183f887610beaecbf9ca5f46c945b4873.jpg

  • Vaquera
    • Rasha

      Night, Boots!!!

  • TexasBroad

    Looking forward to Aftermath tomorrow night. I started “Combating Cult Mind Control” by Steven Hassan yesterday and will likely finish it tonight. So much to absorb and I highly recommend. Heavily highlighted and I will revisit it again.
    I have an embarrassing Ray Jeffrey story. I was at an event and in conversation, told an Ex whom I’d just met that I was a legal junkie and a huge fan of Ray Jeffrey. Some time later, the guy hands me his cell phone and tells me to say hello – and hear “Hi, this is Ray.” I’m not sure what I was expecting when I accepted the phone and said hello, but that Ray Jeffrey was on the other end left me speechless. I managed to get out that I appreciated all he was doing and apologized for the late hour and then hung up as quickly as I could. If I ever have the opportunity to speak to him again, I will present better I hope. He was very gracious.
    I have another treat to look forward to tomorrow night…my sister, who lives in the thick of it in D.C. is getting the hell out of dodge for the inaugural festivities and coming to see me! I adore her and am so excited. Hopefully, I will be able to watch/live blog Aftermath— I’ve been trying to get her to watch (she doesn’t really watch any tv at all though) so this will be a good opportunity.

    • Vaquera

      Glad you get the chance to bank some sister love.

      • TexasBroad

        Thanks! I have days of laughing till I pee my pants to look forward to!

        • Vaquera

          My sis came over yesterday for a little escapism and we binge watched flirty ’50s movie musicals. Nice cinema tonic for what ails you.

  • clergy-grrrl

    Hey, everyone. I’m new here.

    • clergy-grrrl

      New to the convo, but I’ve been researching $cientology a bit. Hi, everybody. 🙂

      • Welcome. Ask and post away.

        • clergy-grrrl

          Really? I have a lot of questions, but I don’t want to get in the way of folks who need to vent. I respect those folks most of all – I’ve been watching enough to know when it’s okay to ask and when it’s okay to just be still.

          • Try.

            • clergy-grrrl

              Well, here is what I said to another person, who asked me (with perfect honesty), “what do you find here?”: “Honestly? I found a lot of bitter and wounded people. You guys apparently hate this guy named Miscavige or “Chairman of the Board.” I get it. There was a lady who had to have an abortion because of him, and there is this thing called “disconnection,” and there is someone named Shelley who has gone missing…. but most of all, there are these young people from the 70’s and 80’s who aren’t being paid anything and who basically fall under the Federal Protection Act for Human Trafficking. Under the guise of a 501c3. And their children. Have I got it right so far? Oh, and also, if you make a confession, they record it, and then they tell you that you need to give them money. And when you give them enough money, then you get to hear that aliens are living in your body and it’s your fault. Have I got it right, or is this rude? I don’t mean to be rude.” …..Thoughts? Have I got it wrong? I don’t mean to be rude…. I’m just trying to understand, after lurking a bit. 🙂

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              No you don’t have it wrong,that is accurate information. We want new people here, and welcome them. Sometimes the humor is a little weird and hard to decipher and occasionally some heated discussions,but please feel welcome.

            • clergy-grrrl

              Thank you; your kindness is very warm, and I appreciate what you said. Thanks. 🙂

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              My pleasure….

            • FredEX2

              Hmmmmm.

            • FredEX2

              In Psychology 101 we learn that when someone states in a sentence ‘I don’t mean to…’ For example:

              1. ‘I don’t mean to pressure you’
              Or:
              2. ‘I don’t mean to sound dishonest’
              3. ‘I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable’
              4. ‘I don’t mean to interfere’
              5. ‘I don’t mean to seem fake’
              6. ‘I don’t mean to be rude’
              7. ‘I don’t want to appear to be OSA’

              That’s exactly what they are.

              But I don’t mean to sound skeptical…

            • FredEX2

              “Honestly? I found a lot of bitter and wounded people.”

              Hmmm sounds familiar…

              ‘Bitter’

              Where have we all heard that word from? Oh wait! I know…that’s the word used by Scientologists… and OSA in reference to ex-Scientologists, those that stand up, and those that are critics….and members of the Bunker.

              Please keep contributing ‘clergy-girl’…it won’t take us long to get to know you and where you are coming from.

              I don’t mean to seem skeptical.

          • What’sup

            Can you teach me?

            • Rasha

              XD

            • What’sup

              Hey Rash! You’re kinda famous now, huh?

            • Rasha

              “This is the kind of spontaneous publicity – your name in print – that makes people!!!”

            • What’sup

              You’ve changed.

            • Rasha

              Nah. Just a chance to use some good movie quotes. Actually, Rasha’s been super busy IRL, and kinda misses the general flow of topics, so I just jump in wherever it stands at the time.

              …I miss a lot of good comments… 🙁

            • Free Minds, Free Hearts

              Will you still talk to us?

            • clergy-grrrl

              I don’t know you well enough to tell if you’re being sarcastic (which happens a lot on this board/thread/discussion!).

            • What’sup

              I honestly can’t tell anymore either.

            • clergy-grrrl

              Well, then, you and I won’t be talking very much. Thanks.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              Hey don’t you be intimidated. We welcome you and your comments, I promise.

            • clergy-grrrl

              Thank you for saying that. That was nice.

            • ExCult.Jan

              Irony abounds.
              Sarcasm is saved for “The Church”.

          • Really. It’s okay to ask.

          • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

            Hey say anything you want any time. There are no restrictions here.

    • Hi.

      • clergy-grrrl

        Hello, thanks for replying. 🙂

        • Very welcome. Thanks for being here.

          • clergy-grrrl

            I admire how welcoming you all are. Thanks. 🙂

    • TexasBroad

      Welcome clergy-grrrl.

      • clergy-grrrl

        Thank you. Are you really from Texas? I went to San Antonio on an academic conference, and I loved every minute of it. I got to see some of the historic settlements – Catholic, Fransiscan, dry – lovely. I suppose that’s south Texas.

        • TexasBroad

          From somewhere else, but I’ve been here over 30 years. Houston/Galveston area. San Antonio is a great city.

          • clergy-grrrl

            I haven’t been to Galveston yet. I like what I hear from it. 🙂

    • Rasha

      Hello! Pull up a chair or have a seat on the Bunkersofa!

      • clergy-grrrl

        That is very welcoming and kind of you! Thank you very much.

        • How did you find this place?

          • clergy-grrrl

            Honestly? I found a lot of bitter and wounded people. You guys apparently hate this guy named Miscavige or “Chairman of the Board.” I get it. There was a lady who had to have an abortion because of him, and there is this thing called “disconnection,” and there is someone named Shelley who has gone missing…. but most of all, there are these young people from the 70’s and 80’s who aren’t being paid anything and who basically fall under the Federal Protection Act for Human Trafficking. Under the guise of a 501c3. And their children. Have I got it right so far? Oh, and also, if you make a confession, they record it, and then they tell you that you need to give them money. And when you give them enough money, then you get to hear that aliens are living in your body and it’s your fault. Have I got it right, or is this rude? I don’t mean to be rude.

            • April

              That’s pretty much spot-on!

            • TexasBroad

              Nice synopsis, but tip of the iceberg. And not rude at all.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              You have learned a lot so far….stay tuned, there is more to know !!

            • TexasBroad

              You’ve been watching Aftermath? If so, the woman who was coerced into having an abortion featured on that show was Claire Headley (there were many other women). Claire’s husband Marc wrote “Blown For Good” and you might be interested in reading it. There are several books about the organization, the people who left, etc. should you want to read more – The Unbreakable Miss Lovely, written by the proprietor here, is gripping and shocking. if you order off Amazon, there is a link to the top left above and ordering through that link helps support this site.

            • Ella Raitch

              Welcome.

              Tony posts a new story every day at 7am PST. People mostly stay on topic at the start, but as it gets later in the day, anything can and does happen. There are hundreds of regular posters here, some are ex-Scientologists, some have never been in but have family and friends caught up in it. And many (like me) have no association but have a grim fascination for how the hell this stuff happens in this day and age.

              Every time there is a new wave of publicity (Leah’s book, Leah’s show, the Tom and Katie divorce, Gong Clear…..etc) we get a fresh batch of posters. Some people read here for years before commenting. So all sorts.

              We just try to keep it accurate and generally civil.

              Irony is pretty essential when dealing with some of Scientology gets up to.

            • TexasBroad

              I’ve been in and out of late so I could have missed some, but it seems like while we’re getting a lot of new folks lately, most have been sincere. Not many trolls. Nice. I’m sure they’re busy elsewhere.

            • Ella Raitch

              Very true. Maybe they are too busy on the showbiz mags trying to hose down the Remini conflagration

            • TexasBroad

              Saving the planet by flaming social media. I don’t think that’s what they expected their lives to be when they checked in.

            • Free Minds, Free Hearts

              You got it.

            • GrangerFX

              Actually, forget all that for now. Start with this: If someone offers you a personality test, even if they say it is from Oxford, run away.

            • John Prince

              I’m waiting for a call or e-mail from co$ Hannover. .they were supposed to contact me about my “test results” according to co$ Frankfurt, but still no word. .. (I think they’re on to me!😎)

        • Free Minds, Free Hearts

          I can move over and make room on the couch. Wine or something harder?

    • Kellykels_melbs

      Hi! Welcome! I’m relatively new too 🙂

      • ExCult.Jan

        Hi, Kelly. Can I get you a cider?

        • Kellykels_melbs

          I’ll take a vodka thanks!

          • ExCult.Jan

            What brought u here?

          • ExCult.Jan

            What brought you here?

      • Juicer77

        Welcome!!

    • Juicer77

      Welcome!

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    #5 is interesting – 7 new missions opened around Tampa Org in 2017?
    (refresh)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b1182ea80bfecaf0cc276f760ffd3dc5f095409ce2262dd195b478ddbadaf6a.png

    • April

      Notice #3 they’re asking parishoners to donate hygiene products for distributing to homeless. Good on them for at least trying to help the homeless, but what about all that money parishoners have already donated to the CO$? Seems like any time the CO$ truly gives away anything it’s donated by the parishoners, never coming out of the CO$’s coffers.

      ETA: Wouldn’t it be cheaper to buy wholesale in bulk, rather than having individual people go to local retail stores?!? Ah well, if it weren’t incredibly inefficient it wouldn’t be the CO$.

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        It sounds like the CO$ VMs are just the middlemen, looking to take credit. Good PR is hard to come by for the clams nowadays.

      • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

        Absolutely….and THEN they will take pictures of it to publicize how charitable the CoS is. Sickening.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          Look at these poor folks. Their lives are destroyed and the clams give them booklets and have them watch videos and take useless courses! UGH!
          https://youtu.be/I-WSJ-sqBFg

          • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

            Geez…..that is awful, isn’t it.

          • Juicer77

            How about working to get them into better housing and back in school? Grrrrrr……

            • JJ

              They don’t need help they can do it with their minds after a $350,000 course in being the movement and harnessing your energy for positive change.

            • Juicer77

              Silly me!

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      Hi love, can I get in touch with you outside the Bunker?

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        It is best to contact me here 🙂

        • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

          I’ll look around for a much older comment of yours 🙂

  • FredEX2

    It was nearly 2pm on Thursday…when all the Staff in Div.4 decided to blow Int. Base together and with one great leap of faith they sailed right over the barbed wire fence and escaped their prison of belief…for good.
    F5
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2bbf44f148d2923a0076b333848fdee3f64a578db9777f1d243497dd641719d0.jpg

  • clergy-grrrl

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbmQQ4RfzVE
    Keep on the Sunny Side!!!!!!

    • Juicer77

      They look so “sunny” in that picture! XD

  • clergy-grrrl

    That’s some scary stuff.

  • MostSpecialAgent Joe McClaine

    Just watched John Sweeney on Panorama. What a great show he did on Trump, so funny seeing him get driven around in a golf cart by Donald tiny hands.
    I wish we had more of his kind of reporting in the US.

  • Shivani33

    Tampa Tourist Tips

    I went to Tampa in my campah
    but was paranoid trying to avoid
    Clams with pamphlets selling CLEAR
    for soul-numbing costs incalculably dear
    Then I thought up a schtick
    Hoo hah! It sure did the trick
    When approached I cackled and croaked
    like one in on the joke
    “Don’t give me no grief
    I got no teef
    nor money to buy your humble pie
    I do love scabies and lotsa babies
    and if I may, I could be gay
    I try to stay idle
    and keep up the work of being suicidal
    But I’ll gladly perch
    in front of yer cherch
    and bring me medicinal bong along
    You owe me for an earlier life
    when Davey Missing Cabbage was my wife”
    Well, that got ’em to run away

    • Juicer77

      Hee hee

  • Dave Reams

    Things have never been better for Scientology . . . critics!

    • Juicer77

      And people inside who are ready to learn the truth.
      Hear, hear!

    • TexasBroad

      “I don’t know” are brave words to live with.

      • It’s a great Meme… I also like this one – “We don’t need more successful people” 🙂

        • TexasBroad

          I don’t get it – guess i would have to see it.

          • It goes against people like Bob Duggan, DM and all those “get rich quick” schemes and it’s off the protocol.

    • Juicer77

      Amazing words. Honest man. Respect.
      McDonald’s with his little boy… <3

  • Mockingbird

    Good late night Bunkeroos.

    I unfortunately missed the early morning posting today and really have been amused by several things in today’s post.

    I have found the infinity Scientology packs may perhaps refer to the number of lies Hubbard told ? Or perhaps the crimes committed by David Miscavige himself ? Families broken up by Scientology and disconnection ? How about provable bullshit ?

  • littlefish

    OMG you guys. This buzzfeed list of Louis Theroux fan items: https://www.buzzfeed.com/natalyalobanova/louis-theroux-stuff-you-can-actually-buy

    • littlefish

      I think the various pants and leggings might be my fave.

    • ha ha!

    • Juicer77

      XD

  • Mockingbird

    Regarding a personal favorite of mine the cause resurgence rundown a small book could be written. Hubbard long ago in a taped lecture described the act of going for a walk as being known before Scientology. He described it as being known by black folks (but he used a different term) as a remedy of some sort.

    He integrates this idea in several forms and places throughout Scientology.

    It’s ultimate form is the cause resurgence rundown. As the story goes a poor Sea Org member at one point was made to run around a pole in the blazing sun until his teeth literally fell out of his head. The running program was a torture and punishment program to break men.

    Somehow it ended up on the Super Power program.

    I had a tragicomic exchange with John Mappin and several Scientologists on his Facebook page.

    He asserted that Stephen Hawking was wrong about physics and at his page Scientologists claimed Donald Trump has a far superior intelligence to Hawking. Consider that.

    They also claimed Hubbard was far more intelligent regarding science.

    I said if Scientology was genuine then recalling one example of advanced technology from the millions of auditing sessions addressing past lives would prove it. Perhaps a high tech energy source or cures for cancer and heart disease, maybe a way to repair pollution. Many technologies would be useful and revolutionary.

    John Mappin proudly asserted that the cause resurgence rundown was developed from advanced technology and used every day to produce miraculous results at Flag.

    I explained that running around a track isn’t advanced technology. It’s running. Around. A track.

    John Mappin was furious that I both knew what the rundown is and dared to dispute it’s status as advanced and miraculous technology. He blocked me.

    It’s a great lesson in the deluded mindset and lowered expectations cult members use.

    If you weren’t in a cultic relationship it is unlikely you would spend thousands of dollars to run around a track and then accept a claim the idea of running around a pole is irrefutable evidence that the technology came from a past civilization that mastered advanced technology like interstellar space travel and running a galactic empire.

    It’s absurdity is strong evidence to me that most of the OT levels have the same problem – if they were revealed without lies or distortions to most potential recruits the recruits would walk away.

    Most people reject Scientology already, but the one in every few hundred or thousand they manage to get might drop to one in a hundred thousand or million. A that rate instead of twenty thousand or so Scientologists remaining you might have a few hundred or dozen Scientologists left.

    • Juicer77

      There are none so blind as those who WILL NOT see.

      • Graham

        Or dare not see. Or [as I suspect in JAW’s case with his PR company] are PAID not to see.

      • You can’t wake a man that is pretending to sleep.

        • I like that very much.

    • One thing i noticed about Scientologist like this character, is how easy they get confused when using binary logic!

      • Mockingbird

        Yeah, John Mappin is particularly noticed for whacky ideas.

  • Juicer77

    Welcome, newbies and lurkers and under-the-radars. Make yourself comfy on the Bunkercouch. f5 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/40d2e8b39fa3a2a57e45378157cc70e5ee7602e250a29c61d0552e97ca155e86.jpg

  • We’re doomed. The king of twits don’t know how:
    “A woman from Brighton who was mistaken for Ivanka Trump on Twitter by none other than the US President-elect himself has told the BBC it has been a surreal start to the day.”
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-38647934
    “Ms Majic’s username is @Ivanka, while Ivanka Trump’s is @IvankaTrump.”

    • Juicer77

      There aren’t enough facepalms….

      • We’re doomed.

        • Juicer77

          I don’t want to say doomed. But we’re in for four years of rolling our eyes and having to watch this guy like a hawk and check him at every turn.

          • Some say only 2 months.

            • Juicer77

              It wouldn’t surprise me one bit that he does/did something illegal and there is enough evidence to get him ousted.

            • I’m betting he goes all Kanye.

            • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

              I think particularly If they can prove any of the Russian influence information (not necessarily the dossier, but other suspicious connections, particularly since he wouldn’t submit his tax returns which may have some evidence re: Russian transactions/investments) they will have to impeach him. If Putin really helped him into the White House, he’s a goner.

            • JJ

              It has been a very odd turn about, historically the Dems have been accused of being Commies and Reds while the Rep were God fearing My Country tis of thee types, now we have Republicans bemoaning the state of the state and wearying of the dying dream that was America and playing footsie with the Russian government and Democrats crying foul and watch it there Bub.
              2017 will not be boring, that’s a given…

            • JJ

              Agreed. I will mark my calendar for the swearing in day and tick till the impeachment trials begin. I wrote a letter to the paper and said Donald Trump has not lived the kind of life that will stand up to the scrutiny of politics and it won’t it barely has so far. Eventually something really egregious will come out, something not just unethical but illegal will come to light and the end will begin. I wonder if he himself sees this (presidency) as an unchecked earning opportunity no matter how long it lasts. a sort of take the money and run job.

  • donald king

    Is the Leah Remini series on Scientology coming to British TV soon?

    • TrishRan

      I checked last night for a friend and it appears the series is going to be available thru Netflix soon.

  • Kristen

    I see the pompadour is as pompy as ever.

  • TrishRan

    Of course things have never been better – Leah & Mike’s show is sharing info about COS to a larger audience than Ever!

    oh, wait…..