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Got a war wound? Scientology can help you with that, and more in our social media review

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Time again for Rod Keller’s Scientology Social Media Review! Rod goes way back, having kept a meticulous eye on the church since 1992. He’s well known for his indispensable “ARS Week in Review,” which ran for nine years when ARS — the Usenet newsgroup alt.religion.scientology — was the most important daily source for Scientology news. More recently, Rod has made a specialty of hunting down the odd and wonderful things Scientologists post to social media. Rod is a chronicler who piece by piece builds a highly detailed assessment of what Scientology is doing around the world, and this is what he found for us this week…

Photos were made available this week of Valerii Kokura and Scientology Volunteer Ministers from the Kiev, Ukraine mission’s visit to the Main Military Hospital in December. They visted soldiers wounded in the war against Russian separatists and delivered Scientology Touch Assists to the patients.

 
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The First Baltic Hubbard College of Administration in Riga, Latvia celebrated its 5th Anniversary this week. The event featured the demonstration of a rarely seen E-meter, the “Learning Machine.” The meter is used in WISE and some Applied Scholastics schools to assist the process of “word clearing,” the Scientology practice of defining all words in order to fully understand study materials. A similar model was once auctioned on eBay, and details were posted to the Operation Clambake website.

 
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Former Scientologists I spoke to had never seen this model before, but speculated that the name is crafted to differentiate the device from the purely “religious” E-meter and made suitable for businesses and schools. The device operates identically to an E-meter with two cans, and dials for the Tone Arm, Trim, Sensitivity, Mode, and Sensitivity Booster (or Sensitivity Range). The name Learning Machine may come from devices featured in the book and movie Battlefield Earth, where the villain Terl uses them to teach Jonnie how to be a pilot.

 
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WISE members also enjoyed an anniversary cake.

 
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Marcus Coloma is the latest Scientology celebrity to hold a seminar for aspiring actors at Celebrity Center International in Hollywood. His resume also includes parts in the TV series One Tree Hill and CSI Miami.

 
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The Way to Happiness campaign on the Venezuelan island of Margarita installed signs along the Playa Zaragoza this week, each featuring one of the precepts from the pamphlet by L. Ron Hubbard. The beach is on the North shore, away from popular tourist areas. Police on the island also received a copy of the pamphlet.

 
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Police officers in training at the Carlos Restrepo police academy in La Estrella, Colombia participated in Scientology’s human rights training this week. The banner reads “What are human rights? Find out now.”

 
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Patients at the Narconon Albatros facility in Santa Domenica Talao, Italy received mass this week from Catholic priest Father Ernest Majaliwa Kaombwe. It’s unclear if Fr. Kaombwe understands the facility is run by Scientology.

 
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Taisekwa Dziruni of the Harare, Zimbabwe mission is offering $400 for people who complete auditing training. The cost of training is not mentioned, but could be substantial. Unemployment in the country is poorly tracked, but may be as high as 90 percent. $400 per year is twice the poverty level, and about half the mean annual salary, so the offer is very appealing to impoverished Zimbabweans.

 
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The Foundation for a Drug-Free World operated an information tent in the Hirschenplatz in Zürich, Switzerland this week.

 
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Total 890 booklets
1 DVD also went out
Positive reactions: 20

– A positive response came from a man who had worked 20 years drug addicts. He commented on the drugs and how they are now getting worse and more and even over the drug business in the pharmaceutical industry.

– A young man confirmed our work as follows: What are you doing is very important and desirable. Especially for teenagers, because we know that more and more young people try drugs or are already dependent. I wish every success to you!

– A couple was interested in what we do and took material.

– A high school teacher wanted brochures because drugs now and in class discussions are an issue.

– A child, about 13 years old, which was very interesting and took a brochure and said enthusiastically, he would take another next time.

– 2 young people to take 2x the status returned by other brochures.

– 5 teenagers were very interested. We had an interesting discussion, especially about psychedelic drugs and LSD.

 
Ayodeji Fapohunda presented the program of the Foundation for a Drug-Free World at the Clervaux Montessori School at 2 Olatunbosun Street in Lagos, Nigeria this week.

 
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The Colegio Instituto Tecnico Laureano Gomez in Bogota, Colombia was host to the Foundation for a Drug Free World presentation this week, which over 1,500 students and staff attended.

 
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L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday is celebrated in Taipei, Taiwan. The cake says “106,” which is not an error. In Chinese culture, newborn babies are One, rather than Zero. In the Western world, LRH would be 105 years old, but to the Chinese, he’s 106.

 
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A rose-themed cake from the Johannesburg Ideal Org, South Africa org.

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An “LRH” cake from the Rome Ideal Org.

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The Terl costume based on the book Battlefield Earth was unveiled at the San Jose Comic Convention.

 
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— Rod Keller

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on March 20, 2016 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • stillgrace2

    Feeding the babies. Right now.
    http://dceaglecam.eagles.org

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      Oh, and they’re feeding the little bobblehead! That’s my bird.

      • stillgrace2

        I recognised your little chicklet!

        • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

          Ha! Rasha says we need give them Bunker names.

          It’s so neat seeing the eaglets at slightly different developmental stages. The one that hatched first can already sit up and move around better, and the other one’s still drunk. Of course, just a few minutes ago, I watched them both simultaneously face plant in opposite directions trying to reach up for mom’s beak. So, I guess they both still have a ways to go. ; )

    • Adorable! Such a good mom, too. She’s got cold cuts right there for them to eat. What a gorgeous creature.

  • Todd Tomorrow

    Silly clams open wounds are for modern Dr’s and nurses. Save your fingers to stick up your asses.

  • Spike Robinson

    Chuckita – you’re a much better performer than I could ever hope to be; do you think you could do this song justice if I sent you sheet music?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebz2QlfvI1I

    It needs to get out there and my pipes ain’t up to it – it needs to be sung by a real singer; my hope is to spread the story with the song. Kyle’s story is too important to languish with the other compositions of a mediocre mezzo.

    • Draco

      Beautiful words, Spike. And I love the birdie singing with you 🙂

      • Spike Robinson

        Thanks. When does Chuckita come by? I want to make sure she sees this, as I think she could rather better do the melody and the lyrics justice…

        • daisy

          Sad song , your version was very good and conveyed the emotion.

        • Ella Raitch

          I tend to see her in the mornings when the new item is posted – not so much later in the day

          • Spike Robinson

            Then I’ll see if I can catch her tomorrow. Thanks muchly!!!

        • Draco

          I’m not sure. She is here regularly though, so just keep an eye out for her. If I see her I’ll tell her you have a little project for her 🙂

        • chukicita

          Damn, Spike! No way could I do that any better than you did just there. Powerful story, excellent lyrics – and don’t dis your pipes, girl, they work fine! I don’t have a studio or even home recording capabilities, but if I did, you’d see for yourself that you *are* a “real” singer. 😀
          {thanks, Draco for pointing this out, I’d missed it!)

          • Spike Robinson

            That’s very kind of you, Chukicita (and sorry for misspelling before)! But my training is as a composer, not a performer. Though, yes, I do know the magic a recording studio can wield, I can also hear through that to know that your pipes are the real deal, whereas my vocal abilities, such as they are, are the result of being yelled at by some very good voice teachers for a lot of years (and having one of the best opera singers in New England to write music for when we were both just raw undergrads helped, too).

            The point is, go to my YouTube channel, and any of the anti-Scn songs you wanna perform, record, arrange, are yours for the taking. Jon turned me on to your voice and you’ve got a great style.

            I want these songs -particularly Kyle’s ballad – out there, and I simply don’t have the time now that I’m helping Jon Atack save the world and all – so if you wanna sing ’em, make ’em yours and bless you. <3

            • chukicita

              Sweet! I want you to have time to help Jon save the world and all, so I will definitely check them out. I like your turn of phrase with the lyrics. I can count on one hand the number of covers I’ve ever done, though – like you, I write my own stuff. Only I have zero training and can’t read music. 😛 So maybe you wouldn’t mind if I applied a different melody to some of your lyrics sometime. I’m trying to be able to get some kind of home recording thingie going so I can at least make scratch tracks. Learning curve.

            • Spike Robinson

              Please DO fiddle with the melodies – as a composer, you know well how our wiggly musical friends like to change with the singing!

              I’m a folksinger, ya know… collaboration and adaptation, all part of the process. Just SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!

              “It is the tale, not he who tells it.” ~ Stephen King

    • Dice

      Yeaahh!

      • Dice

        It’s a sad story 🙁 this link goes with it https://vbreton2062.wordpress.com/2015/05/15/5635/

        • Spike Robinson

          Thanks for posting the link, Dice! send me to ethics for not adding that.

          • Dice

            well, since you are on probation and there is a general amnesty for all SP’s and the fact that i got the link from your youtube channel, i think i just press the little donate button on there! 🙂

        • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

          Ugh, I remember hearing about that. Yes, it is a very sad story.

        • UhLasare

          Thank you for posting this. I didn’t know his story. I’m listening to the Inside Charlottesville podcast now, and it’s a horrific story.

    • chukicita

      I don’t read music, but even if I did, there’s no way I could do this any better! The only suggestion I’d make is an a cappella version (like modern-day barbershop) with tight harmonies. your voice is clear and fine. Love the candle (and the birdies!)

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Yikes!
    Saving the planet one scrape at a time?

    PHOTO CAPTION – “Shout out to the new Scientology Film Studio on Sunset, making their “employees” scrap the red paint off the curb.” #Hollywood #filmmaking #tinseltown #glamour #scientology

    Fred – this is the type of stuff that just begs for a tour!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BDL8xOgyJNz/

    • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

      Excellent find/photo. That’s an RPF looking trio of paint scrapers.

      I did many months of paint scraping in my final 15 months waiting to get off of the RPF.

      I could zen-like compartment off this demeaning job, and zone out, in fact that’s how I did most of the RPF. (I knew in the back of my head it was better than the poor Russians sent to Siberia to work in the freezing Gulags with their dreadful grass porridge diet—comparing where I was to where I could be in human history, always made even the RPF seem like paradise, I know that’s sick.)

      • Draco

        I used to love scraping paint. So much less stressful than having to be on post trying to figure out how the hell to get my stats up! I don’t think they realized it wasn’t punishment for me 🙂

        • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

          Safety in having gotten to the bottom, and Hubbard has no further bottom to hit you with.

          Scraping is heaven in the confusion of regular chaotic post life.

          Scraping is far better than Miscavige’s creative punishments and demeaning abuses.

          • I totally understand that. It’s that way for me sometimes working on a big project with lots of moving parts and decisions. Sometimes I just want to do a few hours of the most basic production and layout, or pixel by pixel image restoration. Anything that’s focused, zen, and simple.

            • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

              Funnily, there’s one Hubbard lecture that says he used to get requests from his lower staff to just go do manual labor, and some had “great wins” washing walls, LOL.

              yea, Hubbard, like everyone in life, notices these things, and Scientology carries it out like it’s some groundbreaking therapeutic organized beneficial and logical thing they are doing on themselves all organized and so forth. Regimented common sense and Hubbard didn’t see was Mussolini-totalitarianizing his wondrous Scientology world with all his rules and “standard” common sense lame/crank ideas.

          • daisy

            My heart hurts, preferring scraping, SMH, scraping . How bad does it have to be to prefer scraping concrete. Unf%?king believable. I am sorry there is no hard labor sentences for criminals like DM when he lands in jail.

          • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

            I get that. When we were renovating an old house I had to paint a long, 3-sided fence with 3 coats of heritage paint. It took days but I loved it. Just zoned out to the radio 🙂

          • Draco

            Exactly!

        • aquaclara

          You scraped paint, too? Chuck, now you. And those poor newbies on the RPF. If we held Paint Duty roll, we’d probably have a quorum here among our former members. That is tragic.

          • Draco

            Believe me, things were so stressful in the orgs at that time, with all sorts of insane orders coming down from international management, that scraping paint was like being on holiday by comparison. I was not on the RPF (didn’t have one in SA), so we could chat and laugh and tell stories all day long. I also carted rocks and rubble up a hill and back down again when the neighbors complained about the unsightly mess! THAT was hard.

            • aquaclara

              Hauling rocks – unbelievable. But of course I do believe you. No one could make things up that could be worse than real life in Scientology.

              Neighbors complained about the mss… Should have complained about the treatment of all if you!

            • Draco

              I think they became used to the weirdness of their neighbors 🙂 Even if they had called authorities, we were a brainwashed lot and would not have said we were being mistreated.

      • aquaclara

        You scraped paint in the RPF? Sheesh, that’s lousy.

        • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

          One time another RPFer who was on the outs, on her way out, Misha Parodi and I scraped a back stairwell of Leb Hall at the complex and Misha’d been the twin of Jill Burkhardt a famous AOLA long time CLass 9 auditor, and told of Jill’s battles with cancer, kicking it once, then remission and Jill passed, Misha as her twin through it, took it bad, wanted out of the Sea Org so Misha was routing out. I was routing out too, so we were “RPF’s RPF” in the route out sub category of the RPF.

          One thing working the RPF, like the solitary or near solitary sub sub duties on the RPF’s RPF, you have time to have frank talks with fellow RPFers, you’re all adept at the restrained talk within the rules and boundaries to not violate the rules too much, but you in the RPF’s RPF get moments to be more sincere, I found.

          So scraping paint and telling each other stories that’s routine in the RPF.

          Scraping paint isn’t all scraping, it’s sometimes some liberating frank friendly life chatting.

          • aquaclara

            Oh, thank heavens. But it still scares me that you and others were (are) in there for months and years.
            Chuck, sending you some good Pittsburgh wishes from across the state. I went to school there, and spent many good years visiting there after….

            It was MUCH colder than Clearwater!

    • So what does red paint on the curb normally mean in LA?

      • Science Doc

        Don’t park for even a second.

        • Draco

          Well, OBVIOUSLY they need to remove that! I mean, where would the OTs park?

          • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

            What we’d do is scrape ALL layers of paint off, so that just covering the old bumpy layers with new Red, we’d scrap to concrete, and paint a new smooth coat.

            There are details you don’t even want to know why. But because it was also considered a compliance report suitable ethics gradient punishment to be scraping paint in general, just so upper Sea Org overseer person could report that those doing the scraping are doing the demeaning job of scraping. So it doesn’t matter WHY, it’s punishment, or so they agreed that paint scraping was suitable punishment to show that they were getting down hard enough of those doing the scraping! Sea Org demeaning status quo suitable appropriate approved bad enough punishment/work.

    • Supper Powers

      🙈🙉🙊

    • Supper Powers

      I’d like to point out that putting paint down the sewer is illegal in most places. Presumably LA, too.

      • Skabetti

        And no one should be breathing concrete dust.

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Clearing the sidewalk….one scrape at a time. Poor Sea Orgers.

    • Supper Powers

      Is that ecclesiastical paint? Are those gals here on a religious visa doing ecclesiastical paint chipping into the ecclesiastical sewer?

    • Nat-leficent

      Maybe they asked where their passports are?

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      Are they in the RPF with those black outfits?

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

        Karen said “yes”. All-black outfits are RPF.

    • aquaclara

      If I gave one of you LA folks pizza money, and you happened to walk by with a fresh, hot pizza, do you think they’d leave?

  • Panopea Abrupta

    • Dice

      looks like he got a boner to go with that smile?

  • daisy

    Toronto residents – Amber alert, if on the computer. I know some people don’t have a TV – 3 month old baby dark hair – abductor male 20-25ys old blond 5 foot 11 inches, short hair medium build – licence B W R C 161 TOYOTA CAMRY 1997- last seen Albion road Northbound 27 hwy.

    • Cedilla

      Just reviewed on CTV news.
      Wow. Family thing?

      • daisy

        Missed it on news, babies are usually abducted be family. Hopefully that means he safer than stranger abduction.

        • Cedilla

          Watched online as soon as you mentioned.

        • Frodis73

          Not to be a downer, but the majority of crimes are committed by family and/or friends vs stranger danger. I’m in Cleveland, so I don’t know the details…hopefully just a mad parent doing something stupid and the baby will be returned soon.

          • daisy

            Baby safe, not a family thing after all, car carjacked with baby inside . I echo Observer, why do they leave kids unattended?

            • Frodis73

              YAY!! Wow…too lazy to bring it with them is my guess. SMH People suck.

      • Observer

        Apparently the baby was in a car which was stolen from a parking lot. Why do people still leave their kids unattended in cars?!

        http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/baby-car-stolen-1.3499902

  • salin

    So, in Zurich: 890 booklets garners 20 positive reactions (polite statements). That is a 2 % response rate – and the response isn’t about an action to do something (come to a meeting, take a course, etc.) it is a 2% response rate of saying something nice. Stunning waste of time and resources.

    • Kestrel

      It’s really sad to think that may be an upstat for them.

      • salin

        Just futile and pointless. All this wasted human capitol, wasted talent. And some clam’s donated money to pay for those 890 booklets (and 1 DVD). Yes, very sad.

  • Observer

    Is it just me?

    refresh
    .

    • salin

      XD

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Yeah, just you.

      • Observer

        It’s because the angry bird isn’t wearing a kilt-thing, isn’t it?

    • aegerprimo

      I see the similarities.

  • richelieu jr

    Hooked on Hubbard?
    “– A child, about 13 years old, which was very interesting and took a brochure and said enthusiastically, he would take another next time.”

    Yes, this is how young people get started… One pamphlet full of pablum is enou at first– harmless, right? But then they need another net time, then another and soon they are amonlining Diamtetics and move on to hardcore Scientology…

    Many are willing to lose epseveral lifetimes in pursuit of this high, others just part-time it expensively or break off into pathetic little groups shooting up LRH light and snickering about their superiority to the mainliners…

    Just say– Bite Me!

  • outraged

    Hard for me not to believe that many of the people above who live all over the world have been unknowingly sucked into Scientology.

    This cult needs to come with a warning, like the cigarette package, a label required by law.

    WARNING: SCIENTOLOGY KILLS

    Warning: Scientology clogs your heart and causes brain attacks.

    WARNING: Scientology causes fatal loss of family and neverending financial instability

    and so on…..

  • Tree

    So I have bad cold/flu but looking at the picture of the touch assist just made me want to puke. The arrogance of these idiots, not to even wear gloves. She probably didn’t even wash her hands. If I were staff I would have asked her to leave and called security. No one touches my patients like that. Then I would clean the wound and the equipment that would help him.

    • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

      Sorry to hear you’re under the weather Tree. I’m healing up from an allergy attack turned sinus infection so I’m happy to share my box of tissues with you. 🙂

    • Juicer77

      Sorry you are sick. 🙁 Get lots of rest.

  • seriouslyWTF

    OT. Saw this on Twitter. Refresh.
    http://www.tampabay.com/news/education/controversy-over-scientology-influence-clouds-future-of-pinellas-charter/121723
    Edited to add: Sorry, this is old. I thought it was dated today.

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      It’s a 2012 article so I wonder why it has shown up again. It still makes my blood boil that they bribed the children with “candy and pizza” before forcing Scientology on them.

      • Kestrel

        Despite its age the article made my blood boil.

      • seriouslyWTF

        A guy on Twitter posted it. He has posted a few things and warned a county somewhere (can’t remember) not to get comfortable about Scientology moving in. when I first clicked on the link it had the current date on the top which I had assumed was the story date. I was wrong.

        • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

          Good man! There is a groundswell of normal people doing their best to clip Scientology’s wings, and they’re everywhere.

  • daisy

    Baby found safe.

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      Thank goodness.

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Was she on her scooter eatin’ pie? What’s that you say? Different baby? My bad.

      • daisy

        LOL.

    • Liberated

      Hello dahling, watched Martian last night, I liked it.

  • Miss Cabbage

    The “Touch Assist” song, Rocky Horror version.
    https://youtu.be/jRiZRMLGjCY

    • jane456

      They are doing a remake, with Tim Curry playing the professor…should be interesting.

      • Frodis73

        I hope his recovery is still going well. It was sad to see him so devastated by that stroke. I had heard his voice (that amazing, spectacular voice) had changed too. 🙁
        Richard O’ Brian is doing the narrator too…I will be watching.

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      I am kicking myself for not thinking of this earlier. Good one!

  • salin

    O/T Aurora post: Each day I click the Tromso skycam – thinking this will be the day it has been shut down (it stays frozen on its last day running) for the next six months. But no… and at least right now there are gentle sweet active auroras. While its a live skycam – all we get are still shots. So to see some action – keep the browser open in a tab, come back to it 5 – 10 minutes later and hit refresh. It’s pretty awesome while they are active.

    http://virtualtromso.no/en/northern-lights/138-live-northern-lights-activity-and-forecast.html

    This is brought to you as a reminder to click the recommend and upvote Today’s Issue of the Underground Bunker. The heart beats when you click recommend – just under the comment count.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Uh-oh… it looks like not everyone is a fan of Alfreddie!

    Jihad on Scientology?
    (refresh)

    • salin

      An object to sir scamalot? What a surprise.

    • Kestrel

      Apparently, Mr. Muhammed referred to dianetics as “devilnetics” in July 2011. He may not have much influence on Farrakhan’s followers.

  • flyonthewall

    Some drama with Ross and Carrie apparently went down last night. Those of you with FB can check it out here – https://www.facebook.com/ONRAC/?fref=nf

    So looks like Ross was invited to the Hubbard birthday event in LA and an hour and a half into it he was kicked out. Tense confrontation ensued and he was followed for a bit. He made it home safe and sound. They will have more details soon.

    Apparently the cult is following their FB page bc they were walking down the aisles looking for Ross based on where he took a photo of the event and posted it to his FB

    • Ella Raitch

      Keep us posted please – I can’t do the whole podcast-listening/video-watching thing all the time so live for the pieces of info I glean here.

      • flyonthewall

        no one expects you to do all those things at once. Personally I can only do one thing at a time, I am a horrible multi-tasker

        • jazzlover

          We’ve noticed 😉

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Funnee comments. Can’t wait to see this podcast.

        • flyonthewall

          YAY! I see my comments 🙂

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            You’re such an angel. hah!

        • salin

          Funny! Added bonus – the visual: for such an important ‘religious’ event – attendance is not robust.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            Looks like a whole lotta staff too.

            • salin

              In an area where there is more activity. Imagine what the event looked like in smaller areas. Am guessing, based on a post last night that showed 2 hours before the event that only 4 people had committed in Denver, that in many places the ratio of staff to public was quite dramatic/pronounced.

              Things that we hope make folks still in the bubble go hmmmm.

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      Holy shit. OSA finally figured out what a podcast is?

      • Supper Powers

        Spit out evening tea!

        • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

          I am flattered. ; )

      • daisy

        LOL- knocked me off bed. To be fair I was halfway out anyway.

    • Spike Robinson

      I was wondering how long they were going to go before they got the REAL Scn experience…

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      How did it take so long to get caught? Didn’t the first podcast come out like a month ago? Pffft, OSA your suck at your job!

      • flyonthewall

        well I’m sure they were onto them since the publication of the 1st podcast but that doesn’t mean their mailing list was up to date! LOL!! They sent him an invite and everything but at the same time their super sekrit agents are watching their FB!! Oh so funny, so very very funny

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          Oh man, I hope Ross was recording it all.

          • flyonthewall

            that would be the best.podcast.ever

          • That’s Rule #1.

            Rule #2 is to have at least one more camera than they know about.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Rule #1 of Scientology Infiltration Club is you do not talk about Scientology Infiltration Club.

              Rule #2 of Scientology Infiltration Club is…….

              Take it from here y’all.

            • daisy

              Quote everything you see and hear out of context and get it printed in Freedumb magazine.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              I feel like ought to have called it Rue #1…oh well, too late for that joke.

            • daisy

              Never to late for a funny joke.

          • Juicer77

            I’m amazed he got in with his phone to take pics. So vid would be fabulous!

        • Somebody’s doing Conditions.

        • cdub

          “sper secret agents” haha, wannabe spies!

    • outraged

      For those without FB:

    • Frodis73

      I cannot wait to hear the story about this…from being kicked out and followed-it’s going to be funny as hell.

      • Juicer77

        But they gave their real names and contact info, so in the long run it may be less funny…

    • Ruby

      omg! This is going to be one heck of a funny show! Ross and Carrie…I love you!

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      Oh this will be such fun!! Let’s have popcorn and caek while we wait for his updates!

    • Juicer77

      The plot sickens!! I knew it would happen eventually…

    • flyonthewall

      Sacrilege!!

      • I like this cover.

        • flyonthewall

          sawlright. Reminds me of Mazzy Star

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImKY6TZEyrI

          • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

            Everything Beck’s involved with reminds me of somebody else. It used to be a good thing. Now it just makes me think there’s not a lot of there there.

            • flyonthewall

              he incorporates a lot of genres so that’s probably a normal reaction, I like his music. Really too bad he’s a kool aid drunk cultie.

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Yeah, but it used to be that you could hear the influences and also hear something entirely new. After a while, everything sounded like a cover. I checked out around Sea Change, before I even found out he was a scilon. He’s technically talented, but he just doesn’t take me to church, y’know.

            • flyonthewall

              Totally, i hear you.

            • flyonthewall

              I really liked Guero. Not sure when it came out

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Umm…’05/’06-ish, I think? I think that was the record where one of the videos had a CCHR shout-out, or something. I’m a little fuzzy on the details…

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              (Just double-checking it’s you I’m speaking to elsewhere)

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Yes, m’aam!

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              Gottcha! 🙂

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Can’t sleep?

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              Howya, Mr G? I had a killer migraine Fri into Sat and slept so much, so now I’m widey-wakey, plus I have no work tomorrow. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m still a student with zero responsibilities 🙂

            • Eivol Ekdal

              I slept for a bit too, but I do have work in 4 hours.

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              Gah! Get ye to bed, young man!

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Lucky lady. I mean about no work tomorrow, not the killer migraine. I’ve been obsessive shopping for flooring…and kitchen cabinets…and bathroom vanities. Gotta shut it down and go to bed here soon.

          • I just finished watching some Lars von Trier’s movies, so forgive me for any odd posts.

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Did you watch Dancer in the Dark? I really like that one. I love Bjork, so I may be biased.

            • Not yet. Ty.

            • flyonthewall

              Elephant was good. About the Colombine killers. I can’t believe he made them be gay together! That is the height of irony

            • Charlotte was in Nymphomaniac. I had no idea she is a great actress and a singer.

            • flyonthewall

              haven’t seen that one yet. It’s on netflix though, may check it out

            • I watched director’s cut, both parts. Not an easy watch, but somehow worth it.

            • flyonthewall

              Bjork HATED that movie, swore she’d never do another one after it. True story. I thought it was ok. He’s a bit too artsy fartsy for me personally, but some of his stuff is interesting

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Yeah, I know, I remember that. I can’t imagine what that set was like. Both she and Von Trier are…intense personalities.

          • I really love this song. Thank you for reminding me of it.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      We’re in the middle of doing stuff, started playing your track.
      Mr. Hole: “That’s the first song I ever learned to play.”
      Mrs Hole: “I think it’s from one of Von Grier’s depressing movies.”
      Mr Hole: “Um, well that’s the right song then. It’s about a guy doin’ his girlfriend in for messin’ around on him.”

      And I was just looking for a comedy film to watch.

      • Sorry. Disregard.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Oh no, it’s fine:) Mr Hole got a good laugh. The timing was perfect.

          • Oh good. First song I ever learned to play was Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water”, because of course.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              It’s in the Musician’s Union Laws and Rules, Page 47.

            • ROFL!

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              One of my top 20 fav still for guitar/blues. Many have fallen off that list, but not this one.

              https://youtu.be/4O_YMLDvvnw

            • Gary is one of the artists I grew up listening to. Love it. Thank you.

            • Robert Eckert

              Really? I thought every musician was required to learn Stairway to Heaven first.

            • Robert Ramsay

              I started courting my wife in Montreau many years ago. 🙂

  • Frodis73

    Flipping channels and Fox has ‘The Passion’ on…i’ve only seen about 10 mins, but it’s not looking good. Not to mention they stop the show to go to reporters that are commenting on the crowds that have gathered to watch them film. SMH. I’m a theater geek and my tolerance for odd things at live shows is VERY high. This is just an abortion.

    • salin

      ? Sometimes pop culture just passes me by.

  • Vanfan

    I love this quote from the Scientology Handbook Tools for Life:

    “Every single physical illness stems from a failure of the being to communicate with the thing or area that is ill. Prolongation of a chronic injury occurs in the absence of physical communication with the affected area or with the location of the spot of injury in the physical universe.”

    • Kestrel

      Which, of course, explains why so many long-time scientologists die of cancer.

      • Linda Clement

        Of course. They were just out of communication with their cigarettes.

    • salin

      Which worked so well for Long Con Ron, as he aged and became ill. Not.

    • Susan B.

      So if my ashtray gets the flu and there are complications such as dehydration and pneumonia it’s because I haven’t talked to my ashtray enough?

    • Juicer77

      Got it. Next time I have cramps I’ll have a good, long talk with my uterus.

  • Dear Obama, while in Cuba, you know what to do. The Legacy.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Dear Tampa Bay Devil Rays and Rolling Stones, while in Cuba, well, you know.

      • That too. Audioslave did it first. I meant this:

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Ahhhhhh

  • Terl

    ASI, I am very disappointed.

    • salin

      The ‘Angry Birds’ depiction must be insulting.

      • It really is. It’s like they try to distance themselves from fine looking Terl Travolta.

        • salin

          Which begs the question – which depiction is more absurd/insulting? Which begs a second question – is the challenge in finding an ‘appropriate’ depiction might be related to the absurdity, even in the sci-fi genre, of the writing/story?

  • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner
    • Sarah James

      A great review!

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      I give that one-star review a five-star rating. Seriously. I want to quote it, but I don’t know where to start. Here’s the first time I snortled (royalties to Mark) out loud:

      “L. Ron Hubbard’s legendary magnum opus is — no hyperbole — one of the worst things ever committed to paper that didn’t advocate genocide.”

      • Frodis73

        That is a killer line!

      • MaxSpaceman

        The perfect point

    • Frodis73

      That review is a thing of beauty. I went ahead and read the other one star reviews…they are all hilarious.

  • cdub

    Ross and Carrie welcome to our world. Seems your Facebook is being monitored by the Office of Special Affairs, the Scientology enforcement division.

    • Skabetti

      Yep, you’re right. But something interesting will come out of it, I’m sure.

  • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

    Off to snuggle down in bed, but before I go, I thought I’d leave you with Jenna Elfman and her chemtrails hysteria. Sleep tight!

    • daisy

      Nite L and L sleep good, you deserve it ,you were on fire today.

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        Yeah, I had way too much time on my hands. ‘Night, D!

    • Frodis73

      STFU Jenna. What an idiot. Omg, they flew over twice…then there were three more. Honey, you live near a major American city, with a huge freaking airport. Her poor kids….I so hope they don’t go to sci schools, but I am sure they are.

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        I wonder if she home schools, actually. She posted something on IG a while back that was a picture of her kids doing something creative-like in their home. It was obvious from the context of the post that it was during a time when most kids would be in school. One of her non-sci fans asked if she home schooled. She didn’t respond.

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      Nighty-nighty, LeeLeeLooLu!

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        ‘Morning, Betts! ; )

    • Nat-leficent

      The horses! Won’t somebody think of the horses!

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        I just snorted up my coffee. My nose! Won’t somebody think of my nose!

    • Jimmy3

      This was NOT an airhead show!

    • Nat-leficent
    • Nat-leficent
      • Frodis73

        I went and saved this pic Nat, I love it. I found this one, but I don’t remember who posted it…may have been you.
        f5

    • When she fell down the Conspiracy stairs, she banged her head on every step, right?

      • Juicer77

        XD

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        Oh, I’ll be stealing that one, RMycroft!

    • Baby

      OMG.. Yes Jenna.. I personally recommend NOT breathing..Just to be safe.. For a LONG, LONG LONG time. LONG TIME

      • daisy

        LOL I am glad I didn’t stay up to read, laughing before bed wakes me up too much.

    • MostEthicalPimp

      Classic birds training for air shows.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    This is a big improvement over the Stevens Creek Org’s cake. The Columbian Org baked an E-meter cake for LRON’s Birthday!

    BTW – What does TITS mean? Is that an CO$ acronym for something?

    PHOTO CAPTION – “Real e-meter cake #electrometer #scn never seen before!!!”

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BDJ_8YNsMEO/?taken-by=scientologycolombia

    • Juicer77

      Props for creativity!

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        I was just thinking that of all the things clams attest to being able to do (controlling the weather, etc.) this the first time that they have posted something that actually impresses me 🙂

    • Baby

      This is the closest I could come honey..

      Schimmer says in 2007 ( Poster ) “Humanity needs Scientology like tits on a canary! “

      • MaxSpaceman

        Not so sure about that Baby- I was walking by the Hardware store the other day, and 1 fella turned to t’other and said, “You know, Jethro?”

        “What, Jeb! what up?

        “My wife’s Vet just the other days told her, You know, June bug, honey, I think there oughta be tits on Canaries, fill out their figures a bit more, get them noticed more out there in their breedin’ spaces.”

        Jes’ sayin’.

    • Juicer77

      Wait… they’ve never seen an e-meter?!?

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        I think they mean an E-meter that has actual value. In this case, at least you can eat it!

    • Graham

      A cake in the shape of their most sacred religious artifact. Isn’t this sacrilege?

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        I think that’s why it doesn’t have any cans. You gotta think that some delusional clam, all worked up due to it being the great Source’s birthday would have probably picked them up and attested to a miraculous win, not realizing that it’s a cake!

    • TITS = This Is The Session.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Mama always said never pass up learnin’ when the course is being given for free – at the local FLEA MARKET! Sheesh!
    (refresh)

    • Juicer77

      I just don’t believe DM is approving these type of events. Not enough ready cash for the picking – except maybe a few book sales. This looks like some staffer’s idea of a good community event to get people into the Orgs for courses. I predict DM puts the lid on this type of promotion quickly.

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        This tacky kind of recruiting technique is all he’s got. They are scrapping the bottom of the barrel for new clams now. To paraphrase a certain candidate “we love the lower educated people”. They’ve got no choice. I was reading a long post that John Mappin posted on Facebook to announce his Super Power Summit at the castle and his new technique for dissemination. He flat out admits that the only people he can interest in CO$ are those who have never heard of it before. Well, duh. Anyone who has heard of it, knows it’s bad news! The internet is an ever tightening noose around the CO$’s neck.

        And I was looking at the some of the Org’s Facebook pages. They are obviously using non-English speakers to post content. The Cambridge, Ontario page as an example. Even I am embarrassed by it.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Photos of LRH’s Birthday Party at Cambridge, Ontario CO$…

    • Victor

      Do they all get their cakes from Willy “Wonky”?

    • Ella Raitch

      Oh Canada! smh

    • daisy

      And the rest of Canada weeps.

    • gtsix

      Did they really call the little girl up to write down her donation amount?

      regging a 5 year old.

      Oh Canada….

    • A beaver furry? Did the moose blow?

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Photos of LRH’s Birthday Party at Saint Hill Manor.
    It looks like somebody forgot to pay the heating bill for the Commodore’s Birthday gift. Overcoat tech shown in full effect.

    • Graham

      Overcoat tech indeed. And paper plate tech? Looks like the monthly ‘social’ at some small-town church hall.

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        Better looking shindigs happen every weekend at the local trailer park. With all of the money the CO$ has, they sure have mastered the “cheap & tacky looking event tech” too. It looks like someone in the kitchen dumped all the leftover and about -to-spoil fruit on top of the cake, thinking it would look appetizing. It doesn’t.

      • Eivol Ekdal

        I wonder what they think about their own environment compared to the DVD they watch.

        • Graham

          They’ve had long experience using cognitive dissonance tech.

    • Eivol Ekdal

      Caek with graeps?

      • OOkpik

        This is probably the best of a parade of sorry-looking Scientology cakes seen here over the last few days…*sigh*

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          Maybe they are trying to stimulate abortion engrams with that cake. The mounds of red goo is just too much… Ick!

          • Eivol Ekdal

            I think they are red-currants, lots of them. The cake appears to be crafted with a coal shovel.

    • Rasha

      Actually, the decor seems appropriate, you know, as far as tasteful funerals go…. Oh, wait a sec…. Ah. ……Never mind.

    • daisy

      I guess they are saving money on the heat, all the guests have to keep on their winter coats. Is someone missing a body thetan , I found it in the third picture, and the cake, never mind I cannot even……

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        LOL

  • Amrita Sharma

    Photos were made available this week of Valerii Kokura and Scientology
    Volunteer Ministers from the Kiev, Ukraine mission’s visit to the Main
    Military Hospital in December. They visted soldiers wounded in the war
    against Russian separatists and delivered Scientology Touch Assists to
    the patients.

    http://www.predictionlife.com/indian-gender-prediction-for-twins/