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More proof (from Scientology) that it’s never been a better time to be a Scientologist!

AOLAGrad

 
We hope you had a relaxing Labor Day weekend. We combined our holiday with a little work, and the whole thing left us exhausted. But thankfully, our friend Karen de la Carriere came through for us yet again.

She let us know that she received the newest copy of Advance! magazine, and she thought we might want to help the Church of Scientology get the word out about all the expansion that is happening for the organization. We’ve decided to share with you just one success story from the magazine, about the booming business Scientology is doing in Los Angeles. This church is on fire!

You know, it’s a funny thing. As more and more evidence emerges that Scientology is actually shrinking (take a look at Mike Rinder’s blog on a regular basis, for example), Scientology’s claims for how fast it’s growing have never been more grandiose.

It was six years ago, in 2009, that former Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis was secretly recorded and uttered a really catchy statement about how Scientology was booming: “…the church having grown more in the last year than in the last five years combined, and more in the last five years than in the last five decades combined.”

Wow! If Scientology had just kept up that pace, in the last six years it would have taken over half the country by now. Or, here’s another measure to consider. In February 2012, Scientology aired an ad on network television claiming that it was gaining 4.4 million new people every year. At that pace, it would have gained nearly 16 million new people just since then! When you consider that there are only about 14 million members of the Jewish faith in the entire world, it makes you appreciate how quickly Scientology has become one of the world’s biggest religions!

Well, OK, that might be a slight exaggeration. In fact, it’s probably more likely that you’d be hit by lightning than to actually run into a Scientologist in the street. But just because the church — and the facilities at its Los Angeles “Big Blue” complex — seem deserted isn’t a reason that we can’t still enjoy Scientology’s claims for immense growth. Sure, one of those Los Angeles facilities — ASHO, the American Saint Hill Organization — was in such dire shape, Miscavige replaced its Commanding Officer, combined its day and night staff, and replaced the entire staff at LA Org with a Sea Org crew that was flown in. (We talked to Mike Rinder about those changes earlier.) But that obvious sign of slow business hasn’t infected the happy writers at Advance!

 
Advance233Cover

Advance233P1

Advance233P2

Expansion Like Never Before

The Pacifica Bridge, is expanding at unexpected orders of magnitude

Every single day AOLA holds a variety of events for the entirety of the Pacifica Bridge. In addition to this, there are other events at the Model Ideal Org of Los Angeles, as well as ASHO.

Recently AOLA hosted the first Quarter FSM Awards Dinner, with over one hundred Pacifica Bridge FSMs in attendance.

The attendees were briefed on the expansion occurring at the Pacifica Bridge Orgs, and the Quarter Awards were given out to the top producing FSMs, field groups, staff members, Missions and Orgs, who shared their successful actions with the rest of the attendees.

ASHO recently held an Auditor’s Night event, where all people who would like to get trained were briefed on the training side of the Bridge, and also got to see a live recording of a session in play, seeing the auditor work with the Mark Ultra VIII E-Meter.

Every Friday night there is Graduation, and there are weekly Source nights where there are LRH lectures played and you can get connected to Source.

The Pacifica Cafe regularly has entertainment available for all family and friends. There are regular musicians, singers, movie nights, and so forth happening almost every single day.

The purpose of all of these events is to unite all Scientologists in the Greater Los Angeles area and get them activated in disseminating Dianetics and Scientology and moving up the Bridge to Total Freedom. Additionally, a lot of these events can be used to activate other Scientologists otherwise not active on the Bridge, and help them generate the wherewithal to move up the Bridge themselves.

With further expansion on the horizon with Golden Age of Tech for OTs, now is the best time to unite with other Scientologists on the Pacifica Bridge and become part of one of the largest movements ever in the history of Scientology.

Everything at the Pacifica Bridge is tailored for unparalleled speed up the Bridge. With the entire Bridge laid out on one street, exactly as LRH envisioned, as well as with the Ideal Orgs of Los Angeles, ASHO and the Advanced Organization of Los Angeles, it is all here for one purpose: to rapidly move and service Scientologists on their ascent up the Bridge for training and processing.

The final element needed to make it all a working package is you.

 
We look forward to your observations about this fascinating article. What we found most interesting was the “Golden Age of Tech for OTs,” which we’re sure must be monumental releases. Just think how much fun it’s going to be for your OT friends to redo their OT levels at about 10 grand per level. It’s only money, and there’s no better investment than to invest in yourself! Hip, hip, hooray!

 
——————–

BOOK NOTES
3D-Unbreakable

We didn’t get a chance to include photos in our book, so we’ve posted them at a dedicated page. Reader Sookie put together a complete index and we’re hosting it here on the website. Copies of the paperback version of ‘The Unbreakable Miss Lovely’ are on sale at Amazon. The Kindle edition is also available, and shipping instantly.

Tony Ortega’s upcoming appearances (and check out the interactive map to our ongoing tour)…

 
Sept 15: Phoenix, Barrett the Honors College, Arizona State University, ASU in Downtown Phoenix campus, Walter Cronkite Theater, 5:30 pm

Sept 23: Cleveland, Parma Heights Library, 7pm sponsored by Center for Inquiry – Northeast Ohio

Sept 24: Minneapolis, Grumpy’s Bar & Grill, 2801 Snelling Ave, Roseville, 7 pm, sponsored by Minnesota Atheists

Sept 27: Portland, Friendly House, 1737 NW 26th Ave, 12:45 pm, sponsored by Humanists of Portland

Sept 28: Seattle, Razzi’s Pizzeria, 7 pm, with Seattle Skeptics and Seattle Atheists

Sept 29: Vancouver, BC, Seven Dining Lounge, 7 pm

Oct 14: London, premiere of Louis Theroux film, ‘My Scientology Movie’

Oct 23: Sydney, Giant Dwarf Theatre (with Sen. Nick Xenophon)

Oct 25: Melbourne, venue secured (announcement coming later)

Oct 28: Adelaide (with Sen. Nick Xenophon)

Oct 30: Perth

Past dates: Santa Barbara (5/16), Hollywood (5/17), Orange County (5/17), San Diego (5/20), San Francisco (5/22), New York (6/11), Chicago (6/20), Toronto (6/22), Clearwater (6/28), Washington DC (7/12), Hartford (7/14), Denver (7/17), Dallas (7/20), Houston (7/22), San Antonio (7/24), Austin (7/25), Paris (7/29), London (8/4), Boston (8/24)

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on September 8, 2015 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of LA attorney and former church member Vance Woodward

UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

Share Button
  • Edward Whalley

    Never? Never? Not even when we could have heard the word of Source, himself? Never? Not to see the Shrine Auditorium fill to see the first Clear? Never? Not to be on the Apollo, and live in a totally theta environment? I think not!

    • salin

      They don’t seem to get the implied insult to all things that happened before with their ever breathless proclamations of this RIGHT NOW is the BESTEST most EVEH! Epic Even!

  • Observer

    Meanwhile, John Mappin is stuck in a bizarre electronic Twitter incident (this is only a partial list!) … He really wants Miley Cyrus to get the message.

    refresh

    • Annie

      Hey, when is Twitter non-electronic?

      Huh…sounds like a riddle…. 😉

      • salin

        When its telegraph twitter!

        • Annie

          Ah…by Telex!

          Excellent answer! Gold star for you.⭐️

    • Rasha

      I haven’t gotten my tweet yet….

      • Observer

        Give it a few minutes

    • salin

      Says the guy who hangs hangs celebrity shoops (with he and his wife shooped in) in the lobby of his hotel.

    • romanesco

      Where’s Skip Press the one time we actually need him?

    • Graham

      “Supporting Trump is the Humanitarian thing to do”. This would be the definition of ‘humanitarian’ given in that special opposite-world Scientology dictionary? The one where it’s all about the money.

      • Todd Tomorrow

        I wish trump would go visit him and get trapped in those, A Clockwork Orange toilet pods. A little super glue around the lock would be a HUMANATAiRIAN THING TO DO.

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Just a drive by today (shout out to Nora for the idea):

    • Joe

      Stefon is the best.

  • SP Wogsy

    The Pacific Bridge, is expanding at unprecedented orders of magnitude


  • Observer

    Speaking of Mappin:

    • salin

      I found this and thought you might enjoy it: http://www.whatmightycontests.com/2011/01/creepiest-hotel-ever.html

      • Observer

        OMX, that is hilarious!

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

        This made my day.

        • salin

          Precious, isn’t it. I think I am becoming a Mappin(mocko)phile. Finding these write ups make me laugh so hard, I tear up.

          • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

            This one is so sweet! I’ve stolen it; hope that’s okay?

            • salin

              Anytime – what I bring here to the UB – is free for the taking to share 😀

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              Thank you 🙂

      • Graham

        “…a lengthy monologue on why Battlefield Earth was the best book ever and how the movie version utterly ruined it”

        Oh dear, John Mappin’s gone WAY off message there. If Slappy ‘Where’s my gold’ Miscavige gets to hear of this he’ll be in for a Severe Reality Adjustment.

        • Observer

          He’s an odd duck even by Scientology standards..

        • I believe he’s actually on message. Miscavige loved the film right up to the point that it received a critical mauling – then he hated it.

          Of course, Miscavige’s initial judgement disappeared down the memory hole. Mappin is faithfully parroting the party line.

        • romanesco
        • ze moo

          Sadly, BE the movie is fairly true to the book. Ok, even Lron didn’t give the Psychlos cod pieces and Doc Martins, but the rest of the movie was true to Lron. Hell, there could even be a Part 2 if one were truly insane enough to try it.

          • Susan_Qbird_Poche

            You read the whole book Ze Moo?! Ack!

            The movie was… pbtpbtpbt… not good at all.

            I came across a paperback book [Buckskin Brigades]
            in a waiting room of the VA. Picked it up. Started reading it.

            I am still using what’s left of it for a coaster to my morning coffee.
            I force myself to read a few pages every once in a great while & then am compelled to rip it up into little pieces, because again,
            ack! ack! crap! ack!

          • randomity

            I have to disagree. It may not have been a great book, but the adaptation was absolutely horrid and completely disrespectful of the source material. There are actually some unique and interesting things about the book. And most of the cringeworthy stuff in the film (i.e.Carlo, the bad jokes, the Harrier jets, the Declaration of Independence, the cave men, the giant dome, the blue gas, Fort Knox, et cetera) was not in the book at all.

          • pixie dust

            ‘cod pieces and Doc Martins’ What a pair.
            I’m laughing so hard right now!

    • pixie dust

      I love reading the reviews you post. I’m almost to the point that I want to see this place myself.
      Almost.

  • Pier Paolo Caselli

    At first sorry for my english.

    Look at this story: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/cuban-spy-juan-pablo-roques-jilted-ex-wife-won-27-million-for-his-deception-6366603

    I think that, like the ex wife of cuban spy, there is a big chance if we give to american government the “possibility” to take the responsability of every tragic effects of their insane cooperation with Scientology.
    Scientology can do everything because is under “protection” of american government, so we must to handle not Scientology but who “protect” Scientology. The real big “friend” of Scientology.
    Disconnessions, aborts, slave works, fraud, etc. can be done because there is a BIG protection. Don’t you think?
    Under process american GOVERNMENT and maybe something can change. So there is a possibility!

    • Pier Paolo Caselli

      The way to obtain justice by Scientology was a failure so now we must to obtain justice by American Government, like ex wife of cuban spy has done with cuban government, because the REAL protection of disconnessions, frauds, slave works, is under american government.
      American government make possible that Scientology ruins lives, so American government must to take responsability for this bad thing. This is the real and only way to change this crime and make it not possible for future.
      Legal causes not against Scientology but against american government, and maybe we can win.

  • Jgg2012

    Didn’t Scientology claim that they had 22 million members?

    • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

      In 1971 they claimed, repeatedly and in writing, to have 15 million adherents worldwide. They claimed to be the fastest growing church in the world. They claimed that everyone in the world would be a Scientologist within four years. However, I have never heard the 22 million figure. Krustie claimed on the Howard Stern show that there are tens of millions of members. So that is at least 20 million. Add on regular expansion at I’m sure you hit 22 million awfully quick.

      They lie a lot.

      • I seem to recall reading somewhere that they based their size on the number of people who have ever taken a class or received a service since the dawn of the church. If true, I could find that plausible (maybe and with great leaps of faith) but it is nowhere indicative of the number of active, participating adherents.

        This would be akin to the Catholic Church claiming to have 9.3 billion followers because of how the Vatican has tracked things for almost 2000 years. One look at a church in the U.S. or Europe will show the flaw in that theory.

        At minimum, show me the list of active IAS members who have at least $1/month coming out of their bank account.

        I have a feeling that number would be smaller than the size of my hometown population.

        • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

          I think of a school, a hockey arena, a small concert hall. You could fit all the Scientologists in the world into the Air Canada Centre and they could all watch a Leaf game at the same time. They could all try going Tone 40 on the Leafs and they would still lose. If you tried to fit all the Scientologists in the world into the Rogers Centre to see a Blue Jay game, the place would be half empty. I suspect that the number of active Scientologists in Toronto would be about three classrooms worth at the local high school.

          • ze moo

            Aren’t the local $cienos ‘postulating’ good things for the Blue Jays? So what if all of the 25 thousand clams can’t fill up the park, their ‘good thoughts’ bring the Jays wins. Ok, the Jays are only 1/2 a game ahead of the Yankees, but that is still a win.

            I, on the other hand, have used my incredible bovine powers to give the Mets a nice lead in their division. You can thank me later.

            I am also using my powers to keep the Buffalo Bills in first place in their division. Pre-season doesn’t count. At the moment the Bills are atop their division. Subject to their first game later this week.

            What is the difference between a postulate and delusion? No difference at all……..

    • salin

      The use ever shifting numbers. But on their Scieno news site, under statistics – they don’t mention number of members. They talk in terms of new buildings, sq feet renovated, and number of missions, orgs, and affiliated groups (with they claim are more than 11,000.

    • romanesco

      No, they said they had 22 million clams. That’s some old slang for dollars from the 1950s.

      • Jgg2012

        Davey recently said that their number (10 or 15 or 22 million) had increased 47 times, which would mean that every tenth person on earth (more or less) was a scibot. Or clam.

        • salin

          They must be somewhere else, as they are not in the middle of the US. Where are all those folks hiding?

          • Jgg2012

            Maybe they are invisible body thetans, not people.

          • Baby

            SEARCH ME?

  • PantalonesCalienteYDelicioso

    Bunneh dance?

  • Pierrot

    *** RED X +–+ Reminder +–+ RED X *** Tuesday, 08 September 2015.

    Good day Bunkerettes and Bunkeroos,

    Yesterday : Vancouver scraped in and saved the day.

    RedX tips & Complaints procedure are now included in the google doc under the RedXTips tab.
    Flag the lies, whack a few bait & switch ads : https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml

    F5… Tank Girl by STMan 2014 enhanced by DodoTheLaser for RedX, flickred by Aeger Primo https://www.flickr.com/photos/132611082@N08/17607524109/in/album-72157652994998862/

  • Richard

    “With the entire Bridge laid out on one street, exactly as LRH envisioned.”

    The key word to this sentence is “envisioned.”

    Scientology use this word time and time again regarding Ron.

    But what does it really mean?

    Well, it means that Ron did not ever write something that is cited as being “envisioned” and he certainly never said anything that is quoted as being “envisioned.”

    In other words, it has nothing to do with Mr. Hubbard.

    It is a completely invented idea that just sounds “theta” to the flock.

    But you can be sure that all those Homo Novi out there believe that anything “envisioned” was, in fact, really postulated by Ron.

    • romanesco

      I sincerely believe the guy had visions. “Just as LRH hallucinated” might have been a better way of putting it.

      • richelieu jr

        “Just as LRH Confabulated…”

    • It is completely as LRH envisioned. We know that because LRH was the ultimate Thetan and all Operating Thetans are able to communicate with him and understand what he envisioned by use of their Thetan powers.

      Or something … K

  • Vaquera

    Completely O/T
    I didn’t think anything could make me laugh today and then this came across my screen: “Hey Donna…”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T2oje4cYxw

    Am on the floor in silly tears.

    • Vaquera

      I’m sure many of you have already seen it, but it’s new to me. Hilarious.

      • romanesco

        Yeah, I think I got it on my fb feed. Fucking hysterical.

      • Baby

        You guys are crazy… I maybe smiled, but I didn’t think it was Hilarious.. Not Like

        “Me on the Faces of Meth Poster Funny..” Texas..xo

        • Vaquera

          Watch it again. Even funnier the second time around, though I respect your right not to laugh. xo

          • Baby

            I think it’s cause I’ve been up for like 2 days..I tried to go to bed last night 2x.. so my sense of humor is weak.. I’ll go to bed soon..xoxox

            I’ll try it tomorrow and see if I missed something..hahahhaa

            • Vaquera

              Either it tickles your funny bone or it doesn’t. No worries. Go to sleep, Baby cakes.

            • Baby

              I am honey.. I can’t stay up.. I have to go to bed early cause I got a hair appt tomorrrrrow.. yawwwwwn.. xxoo love you Texas..

            • Vaquera

              Rock those pillows, dearie. xo

            • Vaquera

              Oh Ha! Are you going to the hair place that you pointed out to me the other day? You flat-out crack me up. I love that tomorrow I’ll be able to picture where your baby car will be parked.

            • Baby

              Yep.. and I’m buying a cuban sandwich next door at the Cuban tropical fruit market.. ha.. Yeah.. That’s quite the fancy place..haha..

              I think I’m the only old woman there that doesn’t have blue hair..

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      “Kolon” needed no words!

      • Vaquera

        Less was more

      • Graham

        A flat-pack Kolon? And the allen key goes where precisely?

        • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

          Good Lawrd (as Baby would say) 😀

          • Baby

            Lawwwwwwdy.. cute video, eh blondie

        • romanesco

          There’s an Ikea near me. Let’s go and make our own version. As should be known around here by now, telling people where to stick it is one of my best skills.

      • Always Amazed

        Did you notice how he snorted when the camera showed “kolon”? Hehe

    • Supper Powers
    • How did I miss this!

      • Vaquera

        Right?! Found it on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast.
        I can’t stop watching it.

    • Annie

      I howled at the Skanka…couldn’t help myself. I think they’re meant for each other…she was trying so hard not to crack up.

    • romanesco

      The remarks he makes about the names of stuff are funny enough, but her whole STFU attitude is what really makes it go.

      • They have great timing and chemistry

        • Vaquera

          Now I want to walk through Ikea with J3.
          Jimmy, can you hear me? For my birthday? Pretty please?

          • what’suppressive

            I’M SO JEALOUS OVER HERE.

            • Vaquera

              Why? It’s not as if my birthday wish is going come true.

          • Jimmy3

            Is today your birthday??

            • Vaquera

              No, but you’re on my wish list.

            • Jimmy3

              <3

          • romanesco

            Can you feel me near you?

      • Vaquera

        Agreed. “I love you, but STFU.”

    • Juicer77

      He makes himself laugh and I joined in. XD

    • Always Amazed

      Funny. I can just feel her frustration.

  • romanesco

    Just to carry the O/T thing to a ridiculous extreme, here’s the best one I’ve seen all day (pic)

    • Kim O’Brien

      this almost made me pee my pants at my desk ! 🙂

    • Supper Powers

      Too bad she isn’t a Scientologist crying out 1.1! 1.1! Then the concept of religion being separate from law might be more clearly appreciated by those love to blend them together.

      This shoop is hilarious!

    • Ella Raitch

      What am I looking at?!

      • romanesco

        Dick Cheney in a wig and a Handmaid’s Tale outfit.

      • Lurkness

        It’s former conservative US Vice President Dick Cheney shooped on the body of the County Clerk in Kentucky who will not issue marriage licenses to same sex couples because her biblical leanings forbid it. She apparently found her religion while married to husband #4–which is among her many personal failures to abide by her Bible’s teachings. http://www.cnn.com/2015/09/08/politics/kim-davis-same-sex-marriage-kentucky/

        • Ella Raitch

          Thank you from Down Under

  • SP Wogsy

    Because what’s another O/T

    • SP Wogsy

      • aegerprimo

        Are you having a bad hair day Wogsy?

  • Frodis73

    Sorta OT but I just remembered something weird. Remember when Rosie O’donnell had her talk show and she would constantly talk about her crush on Tom Cruise? I totally forgot about that whole thing until about 10 mins ago. Would love to hear her thoughts on him these days. I can’t see her being supportive of sci in any way, shape or form.

    • ReallyMGM

      I remember. I used to watch her show back then. I think she finally had him on as a guest along with her other childhood heroes.

  • Kim O’Brien

    SO ..i guess …math is hard . “Scientology math …brought to you by plato …no, not the smart guy , the other plato ..the ones that kids eat “

  • “Expansion Like Never Before” is ancient scientology mantra and it real meaning is “Like Before Expansion Never”.

    • salin

      Scientology meets Peter pan: Never (Ever) land

    • aegerprimo

      The full phrase is…

      Expansion Like Never Before…..
      …..expanding at unexpected orders of magnitude.

  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • romanesco

      Wheeee! Yippie yi oh ki yay! or however it is that you spell that shit.

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      Ooh!

      • 9001

        A sequel!… 🙂

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          (refresh)

          • 9001

            I was just thinking of what was missing from the first one.
            Hubbard’s brutality: putting children in the chain locker for days and abusing the crew, when he was on board the Apollo.
            The Clearwater Hearings in front of the city council from 1982 that are on video.
            etc

          • Ella Raitch

            Someone should produce The Unbreakable Miss Lovely instead!

    • When I met Alex at LACMA when the film premiered here in LA I asked him about 2nd generation people like me. Where was OUR story?? I told him about my channel. He told me to go for it and that he was definitely looking into doing more on it.

      • salin

        Go for it Nora! You have a great knack for telling a story: blending in enough explanation to give the uninitiated a sense of the complexity, with pauses and emphases on points of such great irony, that humor via ridiculousness jumps out at the viewer. Hard to accomplish with such an emotionally heavy topic. Again, I echo Alex Gibney: Go for it Nora!

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      Did one of the crack reporters from Freedom magazine pop in at the end? Ha!
      (refresh)

  • Jgg2012

    “Scientology aired an ad on network television claiming that it was gaining 4.4 million new people every year.” What they probably mean is that 4.4 million check it out every year. 99% probably attend one course or tour or auditing session and don’t come back. Of the remaining 1% or 44,000, 90% probably leave within 2 years. So, they probably get 4-5,000 new hardcore members each year, which is about how many leave each year, in my estimation. Of course, they probably count ex-members as members.

    • Jimmy3

      You know they count web traffic as stats too.

      • Jgg2012

        “Anyone who read Dianetics” would include me, the proprietor, authors like Janet Reitman, Mark Bunker and lots of other never-ins who would not be confused with Scientologists.

    • anoni81b4u

      Is it a new commercial?
      got a link ?

    • salin

      I would bet the ‘check out’ rate is more like 1% (99% float away from the website – or never did anything more than see the ad on tv). Then maybe 1% of the original 1% do more than take a course, take a personality test, etc.) So I would guess about .01% is more like under 500 people. Which would explain the numbers that suggest that in the past decade the population of active members (self proclaimed on census data) has decreased around 50%.

    • Baby

      I flipped them the bird when I walked by once and they counted me..

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner
        • Baby

          Oh I love, love love Pat Morita.. He is so cuuuuuuuuute.. I bet I could teach him a couple of karate’ moves..

          • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

            It’s another of the many I’ve pinched off Nat. Isn’t it great? 🙂

          • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner
            • Baby

              Wait just a minute betty.. Is that a fat baby.. Oh I get it.. A Krusty Alley baby.. now it makes sense..

              ( too cute.. you are slick Girlfriend I promise I won’t tell Nat)

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              She’s just given me the key to jelly gummy heaven!

            • Baby

              Hahaha.. Well I have the key to your heart so there..yawwwn..OK teeth brushed..

              Don’t make me stay up one more minute you guys…I can’t entertain you all night.. xo

      • romanesco

        Baby! You beat me to the punch and made a better funny. I’m going out in the garden to eat worms now.

        • Baby

          It’s all good roman.. it’s not really fair though cause I am drinking a beer and haven’t been to bed in a Long Long time and I’m slap happy..

          No worms roman..ugh..ugh.. spit them out right now.. UGH not on my Hookah..grrrrrrrrrosse

    • romanesco

      I’ve checked it out to my full satisfaction right here on this site. Guess I was counted as well.

    • ze moo

      I truly doubt that the clampire nets anything over 500 paying members per year in the US. Maybe if you throw in non-citizens who use the ‘religious study visa’ to come to the US, you might get 1500 total. Just my guess,

      Abuse of the religious study visa is a potentially huge problem for $cienoland.

    • Jill Barras

      Why even calculate, which is just trying some logic. The church is know for lying and I would not be surprised in the least if they are pulling these numbers out of the hat…just making them up.

      • Jgg2012

        “just making them up” you mean, like they did with LRH’s bio (youngest eagle scout ever, discovered some atomic particle at Cal Tech, war hero in the South Pacific after he cured his blindness with dianetics).

        • Jill Barras

          Don’t forget, he was the first causality of the pacific during the war.

    • romanesco

      Normally they don’t, but Donald Trump’s frightwig is just too delicious not to share.

    • Baby

      Lush that was a great post..thank you.. I read every word..

      The story about the VM going to Haiti is a joke..

      “They had no place to stay, and no supplies — their idea was to use the
      ton of money they had to buy food to distribute when they got there. But
      there was no food and no water. That was the point.”

      You know damn well they didn’t have any $ to buy supplies.. PUHLLLease..

      I’m sure they answered the way they did because someone asked them..” So where are your supplies?”

      ” Uh..we’ll buy them when we get there.” LIARS..

      They are notorious for handing out others supplies.. assholes..

    • I want to adopt these horsies, so I can see them doing it every day.

    • aegerprimo

      Sweet horse! ♥

  • Observer

    Am I the only one who sees alien faces in this pic?

    refresh

    • Baby

      OMG Obs.. I was studying for Aliens very intently and my screen picked up Lush’s horses ears up close and it scared me half to death..hahaha

      • flyonthewall

        “I was studying for Aliens very intently” If you had a nickel for every time you said that eh? Am I right or am I right? *high five* Come on now, don’t leave me hangin!

        • Baby

          Fly.. First you gave me a thumbs up this morning..now a high 5

          I did NOT know flies had thumbs or hands.. What is up with that..?

          • flyonthewall

            If you’ll notice my avi I have a claw and a lego hand. Either are capable of high fives and you’ll just have to use your imagination for the thumbs up 🙂

            • Baby

              Wow.. You do..You are super fly.. lovin it..

    • Jimmy3

      I see a baby Ninja Turtle made of dust. Looks like Michaelangelo, maybe.

      • flyonthewall

        i tried to watch the latest Ninja Turtle movie on Netflix last night. I made it about 20min b4 I killed myself. I think that’s pretty good

        • Jimmy3

          Yeah the Michael Bay version is shit. The original is actually pretty good, and the second one is so bad that it’s fun. You know some mommy brigade launched a campaign after the first one, complaining about the turtles using their weapons in a kids movie. That’s why in part II, they get caught in a rope net and Leo doesn’t even touch his swords. I’m 26 years old screaming at the Ninja Turtle on my television: USE YOUR FUCKING SWORDS BRO. USE YOUR FUCKING SWORDS C’MON MAN

          • I think this is English, but I’m not sure . . . hmmm.

            • Jimmy3

              Keep chugging that Haterade, brah

          • flyonthewall

            stupid mom brigade, ruin everything.

            I remember liking the first one a lot too, I’m sure it would hold up. Ahh memories. Here’s a little something for your nostalgia

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bojx9BDpJks

      • Observer

        I see it too!

        • flyonthewall

          you guys are high

          • Observer

            It’s not dust though. Just a couple of gray heads.

            • flyonthewall

              you’re a gray head

            • Observer

              Pffffffffffffft.

            • LIBRARIAN!

          • You make that sound like a bad thing.

            It’s only bad when artificially induced.

            • flyonthewall
            • The principle problem with people trying to fly off buildings (regardless of state of mind) is they forget two key things:

              Step 1: Miss the ground (this is key to progressing to step 2)
              Step 2: Continue ignoring that you are defying gravity (this is where I constantly screw up*)

              *I dream of flying at least 5x per week and everything is fine until I get excited that I’m finally doing it outside of my dream state, at which point I wake up as I roll over in bed.

          • ^^^^^^

          • Baby

            Yeah quit bogartin the Mary Jane Man..

    • outraged

      They really are aliens. refresh…..

    • aegerprimo

      The hat guy distracted me at first… then I saw them.

  • For RMycroft and Andrea re: The Pacifica Cafe regularly has entertainment available for all family and friends.
    F5

    • Observer

      This made my day.

      • I owe you — for making my day many a time 😀

    • Does it need a disclaimer like: “No clams were harmed in the making of this GIF. Unlike the harm brought unto humans who are lured into the Clampire.”?

    • Baby

      OMG Nat.. This is Brilliant.. hahhahaha.. Thank you..Yes I agree..It made my day too..

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      Beautiful. I’m mesmerised in a really great way. You could ask me for anything right now and I’d give it to you 😀

      • Hug?

        • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

          Yes 🙂

          • Baby

            Shelly?

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              All I need is a compass and a flask of tea. I may be some time!

        • (Ask for a cabin in Alps)

      • Whirled peas?

        • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

          Heh 🙂

    • Baby

      This is seriously my favorite gif I have ever seen Nat.. Night all………….

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

        Sweetest dreams, Baby 🙂

  • nottrue
  • Jo

    Still no sign of any Scientology in Northern Ireland. No expansion here. No sign of the Mormon’s either, and that’s strange.

    • Because everyone is a drunk SP there. That’s why.

      • Rasha

        It is lovely up there, isn’t it?

      • Jo

        Maybe, I am enjoying a glass of red.

      • aegerprimo

        Good for them indulging in real spirits!

  • L. Wrong Hubturd

    OT: Venus versus Serena Williams on US open now. Two women with real super powers.

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      Word.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Wins….real wins.

    • Observer

      Who earn real trophies based solely on their abilities.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        AND get paid, not pay for it.

    • Watching.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Venus trying to attack early. Nice to see after all of her health issues the last 2 years.

        • Jimmy3

          Keeping score here. I have them at two booties a piece.

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            I’m going 2.5 for Serena, 1.5 for Venus.

            • Jimmy3

              That’s probably a more accurate score. I’m not really a tennis fan.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              That’s ok, J3. You can’t always be the cool kid.

            • Jimmy3

              Shut up and give me your munch loney.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Sure, if you say so, but I’ll have to tell Serena and she’ll kick your ass.

            • Jimmy3

              Not even gonna lie, she could definitely kick the shit out of me. But only if I hadn’t crapped my pants by that point.

      • Vaquera

        No access to regular broadcast television. Grrrrr.

        • IT’s bullshit that they are only broadcasting this on ESPN. It’s a TEENY bit better than what they did with the Women’s world cup. That was on Fox Sports 1. I lucked into having that channel thanks to my television obsession.

    • I’m just amazed by Serena Williams’ goddam muscles.

      • SP Wogsy

        That looks FABULOUS in a dress – that’s a super power.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Yeah, she would beat most men on tour. She only practices with guys.

        • I am glad I’m not one of those guys. It would probably make me question my gender.

    • SP Wogsy

      Any chick that goes by Venus should automatically have a super power.

    • MaxSpaceman

      Playing Serena is like they’r facing a lightning quick, agile Bruno Samartino. There are no women Tennis players who can compete against that strength of play. ‘Cept Venus is super smart player who always finds a way to stay in the game. Even at the advanced 30s age.

  • Rasha

    Gotta ask… in Scientology, are there a bunch of ASHOs, or is there, like, just one huge ASHO behind it all? ‘Cuz I was gonna tweet ’em, like, “Hey, ASHO! What’s all the to-do?” I mean, I saw one ASHO once, and thought, “Geeze, that’s one e x p a n d i n g ASHO!”, but I left, ‘cuz I don’t like hanging around with, y’know… jerks.

    • SP Wogsy

      I keep reading asshole…sheesh.

      • Rasha

        (innocently) What?? Why, that’s just….. I would nev– WHAT???

        • SP Wogsy

          I read charge on the emeter.

    • salin

      XD, Now you sound like the boyfriends on the annoying your girl friend while shopping (through puns) down thread.

      • Rasha

        …I’ll be over here, jumping on the sofa…

  • worstcultever

    Can I just say this is the most godawful abuse of lines and shapes I’ve seen in a while. Jesus. Utterly headache-inducing.

    I doubt Miscavige was going for “pure silliness, badly executed, flanked by more shitty-looking annoyingness with insouciant notes of Grand Old Opry,” but that’s what he achieved.

    • Rasha

      They screwed up on the middle one, with the triangle. Got the “over/under” wrong. Design: 0 Creativity: 0

    • aegerprimo

      It consistent that all Co$ event sets are gaudy god-awful over-the-top ugly.

    • aquaclara

      That line is a keeper. It is an awful mess. (Captain Five One must have flunked kiddygarden).

  • OTD:OutTheDoor

    Regarding a comment below: it’s also fun to hear ex-scitols say that they lied to the holy e-meter of Antioch. Yeah, it’s so flubless and flawless!

  • aegerprimo

    I thought the art on the ADVANCE! magazine cover is nice….
    BUT I wonder if the water color paper texture was shooped. Ugh, lying liars that lie.
    (refresh for close-up of lower left corner)

    • Mark

      Almost certainly shooped in: found loads of ‘wire-laid’ paper textures online when I was shooping ADVANCE! into ASKANCE! earlier.

      Wire laid’s fine for pen-and-ink, pencil and printing, but not much good for watercolour, as the paint bleeds along the furrows; for that painters use an absorbent ‘wove’ paper where the texture goes in all directions.

      • aegerprimo

        THANK YOU MARK!
        I have dabbled in water colors and am familiar with the paper and how the paint bleeds into its texture. I thought there was something very wrong with the ADVANCE mag picture.

        • aegerprimo

          And thank you for being on topic. OT cute animal pics were starting to overwhelm me.

          • Mark

            Damn! Just as I was going to post a lovely piccy of a puppy dressed as Polly Pocket…

            • aegerprimo

              Okay… DOO EEET! I will upvote because I am always an up-voter of cute animals, and especially ones dressed in cute outfits.

            • Mark

              What I’ve really been doing is looking for where they pinched the original of that watercolour image from; unfortunately an awful lot of people seem to like painting fountains and waterfalls. (Dressing animals up as toys? Nah!)

            • aegerprimo

              Ohhhhh….. okay then… here is a pic of one my cats who posed with Lion King dolls from McDonald’s Happy Meals. (Date ‘ round 2005) This is a dam cute intense pic of kitten cuteness.
              https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53bc6bfce4d61601357afa7cbd06b65409845147f937f1fd3f15592532f7c6c8.jpg

            • Mark

              She’s looks like she’s giving off a “Oh come now, you don’t seriously expect me to start lactating, do you?” vibe. The only toy my cat ever had was a velvet mouse stuffed with catnip: it lasted about twenty minutes before being disembowelled and shredded.

            • aegerprimo

              She was a unique cat who did unique things. I miss her so much. I’ve done several drawings of her, because she was quite a poser and an amazing cat. My favorite, and I think I caught the inquisitive and teasing look in her eyes….
              https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f5ea0d5ffde79795e828c9dd72755137183c453b39cfca1504c103351b5d5485.jpg

            • Mark

              Beautiful 🙂

            • aegerprimo

              Thank you Mark. That means a lot coming from you. ♥

            • sugarplumfairy

              Cute pics of animals are one thing.. But squirrels, especially those spreading fuckery, are quite another!

      • aquaclara

        Catching up on comments–love that you found another shoop. This was a fun bit. Thanks.

    • aquaclara

      Great catch! That is my up vote which you can’t see since I am so late in reading comments! Thanks!

      • aegerprimo

        I always make late upvotes to late upvotes. ♥

  • EnthralledObserver

    Info up at the Giant Dwarf Website about the event in Sydney now… thought I’d share.

    http://giantdwarf.com.au/events/steve-cannane-tony-ortega/

  • The Dude

    F5

    • aegerprimo

      Appropriate squirrel is appropriate!

  • flyonthewall

    lurking…always lurking

    • SP Wogsy

      I’m laughing my ass off right now. This is funny.

  • SP Wogsy

    I think this is a baby Wombat, but I’m not sure. I will be taking over Wombat pics until further notice. Nite f5

    • Jimmy3

      This guy has an amazing aura. So much energy. So much purposefulness of beingness.

      • EmmaDaoust

        Must feel like looking in a mirror for you, Jimmy

        • Jimmy3

          I don’t see myself in mirrors. Side effect of a childhood injury. I don’t like to talk about it.

          • Helen Van Patterson Patton

            How do you feel about garlic and daylight?

            • Jimmy3

              Allergenic.

          • EmmaDaoust

            I am so sorry, Jimmy. Well, let me say, that if you did look in a mirror, you’d be as adorable, as energetic, as porpoiseful as that there cute cuddly wombat baby up there.

            • Jimmy3

              I look in mirrors all the time, I just can’t see my reflection, because I don’t have one. Every morning a guy comes and draws a portrait of me so I can see how I look. I call him Crayola.

      • SP Wogsy

        Message from the kitteh dimension f5

        • EmmaDaoust

          Uh-huh
          Yeah

    • aegerprimo

      Too off topic for me tonight.
      Goodnight.

    • MaxSpaceman

      Cute little wrong bat.

  • madame duran
  • MaxSpaceman

    “Yo- ya’ gotta see the stuff they posting at Tony’s. What a riot those gals ‘n guys am. SPs am super people ! “

    • Great … John Allender and the GoPro team have a new quarry …

  • scientology pimping out rent boys for Travolta?

    pic

    • EnthralledObserver

      What the… whoa. They wouldn’t, would they?

      • the control they would have would be total…. and you know they know all the closet gay guys through all the audit confessions… it actually makes sense

        • MaxSpaceman

          what a slime ball racket

          • Mockingbird

            ecclesiastical .

        • EnthralledObserver

          The control they have would be total… until… someone escapes. Recipe for disaster… it’s a folly to think they will always have control over a situation like this. I hope it’s true… means there’s a chance of it going pear-shaped, and I love it when $ci-shit goes pear-shaped.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      Isn’t this old news? There were rumors that the clam hired as a manny for Jett was really employed to “take care” of JT.

    • Frodis73

      Wouldn’t surprise me in the least…

    • sugarplumfairy

      Uhhhhhhhh.. bathroom……. Fast…..

  • eloise

    I’ve had a thought…Custom printed toilet paper rolls…. http://www.printedtp.com … plant them around Clearwater…first few sheets blank, innocuous to the casual observer. But, second or third layer ways to get out…1800xseaorg, bunker url etc… hmmmm

    • EnthralledObserver

      ^^ Brilliance.

  • Vaquera

    Does anyone else’s computer do this when it gets tired? Maybe she should be put out to pasture. f5

    • salin

      Yikes!

    • Looks usual to me.

      • Vaquera

        You’re special.

        • No U. Posting a normal screenshot of The Bunker and blaming computer.

          • Vaquera

            No. I really meant it. You are special. I’m glad you’re here.

        • Seriously though, if you are planning on getting new machine, wait till November and get new Y series laptop from Lenovo. I can’t wait for that beast.

          • Vaquera

            Thanks. I’ll add it to my bday wish list. I wonder if Vaquera will get it for me.

    • How did you do it, btw? An app?

      • Vaquera

        Seriously. No kidding. In the later evening, if I’ve been on for a few hours, it just happens. I’ll be scrolling along and suddenly the text gets weirdly overlapped and then, bam, it gets all flipped up like in the picture. It corrects when I re-boot and then it’s good again for a while.

        • Wow. What’s you hardware (pc, mac, android, etc.) and how old it is?

          • Vaquera

            Late 2009 MacBook Pro in serious need of OS updating.

          • Vaquera

            Then I’m glad I shared.

        • It’s apple isn’t it? It’s apparently a common bug, if so. Software related.

          • Vaquera

            I’m still running Lion. Ha! That’s my problem.

            • 🙂 Should be an easy fix.

            • Vaquera

              Crossing fingers. In the meantime, it made me laugh.

            • It’s sure one of the funniest computer glitches I’ve seen.

            • Vaquera

              Then I’m glad I shared.
              (now all is in it’s proper place)

        • Annie

          Wow…your computer is enterbulated, yo.

    • romanesco

      Well, of all the ding-dong dastardly upside-downedness! I’ve never seen shit like that in my life! (Except on my mobile, which can be a weasly, uncooperative little motherfucker.)

    • … I call bollocks…

      pic

      • Vaquera

        You know that’s not my modus operandi.

        • … I know… the text from the twitter feed here overlaps into the main body of text on iPads but not on regular iMacs so there’s definitely a glitch in the matrix re the coding here… maybe your older OS has picked it up as it hasn’t been fixed yet and is mutating into something worse

          • Vaquera

            Maybe it has a wicked case of the BTs.

            • speaking of BT’s I’m going post a question at the top of the posts … should be ready in a couple of minutes or so

            • Vaquera

              It’s a race between you and the sandman.

      • We really having a boring fucking day/night, aren’t we?

  • Sebastian L. Jackson

    Off-Topic: The Cinema Snob rips into yet another bad movie from Travolta’s dark age — this time the long-forgotten sequel to Saturday Night Fever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=184&v=kFT_0JxQ93E

  • Supper Powers

    Robert, are you out there? I miss you. Come back.

    • Frodis73

      Oh! Actually, yes! Robert, if you are out there I need you to drop me an email at gmail. Just use my name here. Thanks!

    • salin

      I was thinking about Robert earlier today. I miss him, too. O’ Robert, where art thou?

    • Sandy

      are u referring to robert hammond?

      • Supper Powers

        Yes.

  • Annie

    Good evening, Bunker After Dark. I’ve never posted a nighttime (NY location) music video before, but I had this song in my head somehow entwined with some comments here. Hope this works….

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kvCeCVmJAUA

    • jazzlover

      Hey, finally! 🙂

      • Annie

        Hey there. Have a good day?

        • jazzlover

          Long day at work. Good? I guess it depends on who you ask 😉

          You?

          • Annie

            Long days, too. What “work” do you do?

            • jazzlover

              pension consultant

            • Annie

              Do you enjoy it?

            • jazzlover

              That’s not as easy to answer as you might think. There was a time when the field was growing by leaps and bounds. Fewer companies these days can afford to keep up with the costs of retirement plan administration, so many are eliminating plans altogether. This is yet another example where the IRS has complicated things to the extreme. In an effort to protect the retirement benefits of participants, what is happening is that fewer benefits are now available to those participants because employers no longer feel the need to pay for them. That being said, the field has gotten more complicated than ever before, and for me, it is now less enjoyable than it ever was.

  • Vaquera
  • Jimmy3

    I’m sorry to say I won’t be posting as much. I need to make some changes in my life. I joined a church boat today, and I will sail wherever the waves take me. https://disqus.com/home/channel/offtopic/discussion/channel-offtopic/that_sinking_feeling/

    …And until we meet again, may the Good Lord Xenu hold you in the palm of His Hand.

    • That’s a cool post, bruh!

    • romanesco

      You didn’t need to capitalize “hand.” And I ain’t duckin’, so let me have it.

      • Jimmy3

        I did that on purpose to check if you’re lurking.

        • romanesco

          Touché.

          • Jimmy3

            How are you feeling, romanceco? You okay? Do you ever feel like you’re sinking?

            • romanesco

              As Robert Johnson once said, I believe I’m sinking down. You just had to tempt me to post this shit just one more time, didn’t you? The sinking part is all the way at the end.
              https://youtu.be/MtLhPeLB9bA

            • romanesco

              What’s a “romanceco?” I’m a piece of fractal broccoli.

    • Robert Eckert

      Are you going to be in Parma?

      • Jimmy3

        I’m still not sure Parma Heights even has a libary.

        • Robert Eckert

          It’s all full of Ghoulardi videos.

      • He’d better be!

    • Oh, brother, J3 has off and and joined a cult ;P

  • QUESTION:

    How do exes actually visualise a “Thetan”? … we;ve all seen numerous stories and apparent ‘first hand experiences’ from magazine such as the one above but I’m often left confused. A regular meat body can have thousands of them so how do they look?… are they little balls of light or do they actually look like humans in which case there must be some serious overlapping… sort of like those Russian Matroski [?] dolls.

    Some stories seem to talk about a single thetan taking on human form [probably remembered that wrong]/

    Also are all thetans bad?… and if scientologists are always trying to get rid of them where do they think they go if they’re, ahem, actually got rid of….

    enquiring minds want to know

    • It’s more of a ghost type of thing, perception of another being in your vicinity, in my understanding.

      Thetans are not bad, but can be degraded, blah, blah. BT’s are are probably supposed to pick a body.

      Whatever. Hope it answers your questions. The whole thing is a magical thinking, imo.

    • sugarplumfairy

      I’m not an ex, but I visualize them as dust mites.. With astronaut suits..

  • Sandy

    Stephen Colbert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Does anyone know if this is referring to the blue hospital building on Sunset Blvd. near Vermont? – “But just because the church — and the facilities at its downtown Los
    Angeles “Big Blue” complex — seem deserted isn’t a reason that we can’t
    still enjoy Scientology’s claims for immense growth.”

    The blue hospital isn’t in downtown LA, it’s almost in east Hollywood, just a few miles east of the cluster of other CO$ buildings in Hollywood. A few of months ago I happened to be by there (on a weekend) and the parking lot was full. Cars were even double parked in the exit lanes making it impossible to maneuver. Maybe something special was going on but unfortunately it was far from deserted.

    After being asked how many members there are in the CO$, I overheard one of the disseminating clams say that is was 7 million. The “Test Center” on Hollywood/McCadden is surprisingly successful at grabbing people off the street to come inside. I’m shocked sometimes by the number of folks who enter – often whole families w/little kids. Just my 2 cents.

    • Missionary Kid

      In my limited observation of the testing center, the number of people going in is scant. Most exit after only a short time, and the rest of the people in businesses on the street hate them. Of course, the fact that I was accompanying Tory could be a factor, but even before I walked up, the work uniforms seemed to turn people off.

      They do, indeed, physically grab people off the street, according to one waitress at Mel’s diner around the corner who was grabbed, and it scared the shit out of her. If you talk to the other businesses in the area, the employees really dislike the $cientologists and their high pressure tactics.

      In the three times I’ve been there on a Sunday, the parking lot next door only had a few cars there. I assume that something special was going on when you were there, and the other time that I drove by on a weekday (it was raining) there was only one or two cars in the lot.

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        A couple of months ago I witnessed one of the clams in front of McDonalds getting chewed out by a guy it looked like was either from McDonalds or next door. It may just be a coincidence but the last 2 or 3 of times I’ve been there, the clams haven’t been near the corner (Highland) and have stayed closer to the CO$ building. Do you know what goes on in the LRH museum building’s upper floors? I’ve noticed that the lights are on all night.

        • Missionary Kid

          I believe they’re offices. Someone can correct me on this, but I believe the top floor is used by corny cob. I was there one night, a couple of years ago, after seeing TomKat in the theater down the street, and busloads of sea org people (edit: were) loading and unloading. It was Friday or Saturday night, about 10:00, and one of the people I was with had a Guy Fawkes mask on, so scatter tech was in effect. Between Tory, who I just met that night, and the mask,it was like Kryptonite.

          Earlier in the evening, I stuck my head in and asked if I could take a picture of the bust of LRH that they have facing the doorway, with the rock wall with water streaming down it. They were surprised that anyone would want to do that, and gave me permission. I liked the presentation, but hated the subject.

          Someone else can let you know what goes on there. That’s just off my limited memory.

          • Intergalactic Walrus

            From the street, that statue looks like the creature from the black lagoon. Hideous.

            I’ve seen the clams walk from the test center to the LRH museum. I wonder if they live in there. And they are always in a groups of at least 2 clams. This prevents one from hopping on the subway and blowing, I imagine. Ugh, what a life!

            • Missionary Kid

              I understand that they don’t live there. They’re packed into squalid living conditions elsewhere.

  • Good night glorious Bunkerites.
    The impending doom feeling is just a lie.
    Sweet dreams, sleep tight. Later.

    • Supper Powers

      Heavy metal dreams, Dodo.

  • The cult’s latest big win – “body thetan” is now a cultural meme.

    • Missionary Kid

      The biggest problem is that dihydrogen oxide is used in making it. That kills hundreds of thousands of people each year.

      • Frodis73

        Lol.

      • And it’s completely full of homeopathic doses of poop!

  • Frodis73

    I’m headed to bed, but I just saw this amazing video of a homeless man helping to save a woman from some guy holding her hostage at gunpoint. Some people might consider it graphic–just a warning. I’m amazed at how brazenly this guy walks up and just inserts himself into the situation. This happened in Brazil and while I do not know much about the homeless there, I’m sure they are not treated well either. I love stories where total strangers sacrifice themselves for another. I highly doubt I could do what he did. RIP brave guy. G’night Bunker.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQg-tqbQ6CI

  • Missionary Kid

    OT Erica Christensen “We don’t worship rabbits” got married this weekend in Palm Springs to Cole Maness.
    Is he a clam? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/erika-christensen-cole-maness-married_55ec4d9be4b002d5c0764181?utm_hp_ref=entertainment&ir=Entertainment&section=entertainment

    • Frodis73

      She is in a new show coming out pretty soon too. Blah. Lol. Wonder if she married a clam.

      • Missionary Kid

        No mention of his clam connections.

        • ReallyMGM

          He looks like a Mennonite on a bicycle to me.

          • Missionary Kid

            There’s other pictures of him without a beard.

    • ReallyMGM

      MK, I’m working on it using FB. I have some leads. And a few have at least a tiny CoS connection.

      • Missionary Kid

        Thanks. There’s a listing of $cientology completions somewhere. He may be on that.

        • ReallyMGM

          I am looking at his family members and they would be new. But I saw a match today that came when I didn’t expect it.

          • Frodis73

            I got this error message when trying to access the “C’s” to look him up.

            The server encountered an internal error or
            misconfiguration and was unable to complete
            your request.

        • ReallyMGM

          He isn’t, and no one else by his last name. I checking sibs FB pages…nada. He does has a 2nd brother though that isn’t mentioned in the articles about him.

        • Frodis73

          I seem to remember rumblings about her being one of the celebs UTR. The creator of her last show is developing a new series about a whole family being in a cult and there is speculation that it is based on her. I might be remembering this incorrectly.

          • Missionary Kid

            I don’t know what to make of her, “We don’t worship rabbits” statement. Of course, celebrities are treated differently in $cientology.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Caption: “The Executive Director of Church of Scientology Inglewood and her Hubby! SO BEAUTIFUL!”
    (refresh)

  • Frodis73

    Xenu help me. I just took the dog out for “last call” before going to bed and saw this HORROR. Now I will never sleep. I frickin’ hate spiders. {shudder}

    • Missionary Kid

      I don’t bother them unless they’re in a place that humans habit. I’ve found that they don’t like to bite unless we invade their territory and leave them no escape route.

      In college, I worked summers for the L.A. Dept. of Water and power reading electric and water meters, and I saw thousands of black widows in the water meter boxes I opened up.I quickly lost my fear of them. I often had to reach in and clean off the glass to clean it so I could read the meter, and they always ran.

      If I find one around my house, I kill them. Hairspray or a spray cleaner or polish does a great job, and it isn’t as toxic as most insecticides to us humans.

      • Frodis73

        Wow. They just freak me out. I’m not a person that is afraid of bugs either…just the spiders. I def left him alone; too afraid to get closer than I was! My rational side knows they are harmless for the most part but when it comes to spiders the irrational side overrides every thought. You are brave because black widows are poisonous right?

        • Missionary Kid

          No. I’m not brave. I’ve just seen their behavior. I don’t tolerate them around living or working spaces because accidentally, one could put their hand or foot or body in a space they can’t escape from.

          I advocate using a spray because it hits them before they can escape. They breathe through their skin, and coating them with something chokes them. It’s often hard to swat them.

          • Frodis73

            Great tip-I didn’t know that about them breathing via their skin (or maybe I forgot). That is pretty interesting actually. I don’t like getting close to them and have used hairspray in the past. I was on the right track and didn’t know it.
            You’re still brave to me because you had to see them so often. 🙂

            • Missionary Kid

              To me, spiders just became an organism that could be dangerous, but who were more afraid of me than I was of them because I saw them run away so often. I only freak out if one lands on me, and even then, I’m careful not to excite them.

              Some spiders, (I looked it up) have “book lungs” that they breathe through, but they’re not like our lungs. Spraying them clogs them up, and they absorb the chemicals, which do them in.

              Spiders are often so quick that they hide before you can nail them if you try to kill them by swatting or stepping on them, so a spray of something doesn’t alarm them like a big object like a shoe or swatter does.

        • Sandy

          We rescue them in the house – just move them outside. They are “good bugs” Flies and mosquitoes are “bad bugs”. And, spiders help us out.

    • ReallyMGM

      He’s beautiful! Have you named him yet?

      • Frodis73

        Yes, evil, devil spider that needs to leave the vicinity asap!

      • EmmaDaoust

        He or she is a magnificent specimen but I can’t bear to see it.

    • EmmaDaoust

      oh dear gawd did you have to share him and why did I have to make one last visit to the bunker before I went to bed. Last night I had a 2 inch centipede in my bedroom – the cat was looking up and there it was euuggghh. Isaac Asimov’s Foundation squooshed him.

      • Frodis73

        I debated whether or not to post a pic, I really did. It was so unusually large that I immediately had to google it to ensure I wasn’t dealing with some out of place oddity. Seriously, the sucker is abnormally large from what I typically come across in my area.
        I guess you and I wouldn’t do so well with the creepers in Australia…I swear, everything there is out to kill. Lol. Joke! I love our Australian friends and would give my right arm to visit.
        As horrible as this pic is, it is not as bad as that pregnancy pic of the Feschbacs! I know I am spelling their name wrong, but I don’t care.

        • EmmaDaoust

          And aegerprimo was complaining there were too many O/T pictures of cute furry animals – heheh

    • Libertylover

      That’s an orb-weaver and totally harmless. Spiders are our friends and just go after other insects.
      I understand people are scared of them, but if you can just scoop it into a cup with a piece of card on top, or get someone else to, and just toss it outside, it’s far more humane .
      Edit Flies are the nasty ones. Mosquitoes are in that family and I despise them.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    2 more examples that the clams are on some kind of aggressive recruitment drive. Do they know the end is growing near?
    https://twitter.com/yackogallagher/status/641475106003271680
    https://twitter.com/Some_heavyshit/status/641468916666138624

  • Dee

    Tokyo update: With all this expanding, I thought I would pay a visit to the new super duper building in Tokyo. It seems they go to sleep there in evenings, no lights on, just one security guy and day time is not at all busy. Seems they have their priories right. I did spot the one Mission van out the side parked in their property. Looking in through the windows as you can do from other tall buildings and while on the train that passes right by the building, I can see very little activity even in the day time. I guess they are just getting ready for the big influx that was promised back last century, right?

  • I found the “Source” nights particularly hilarious. All these suckers have the lectures at home but to really connect with Sauce they have to go and listen to them at the org, really? LOL

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Vancouver CO$ graffiti: “Psychotic, Thuggish cult as religion”
    (pic)
    https://instagram.com/p/7Y6ZjmGwIH/?taken-by=xpectin2wakeup

    • A big blank white square — with a comment box! — is going to be graffiti magnet.

  • El Ron is a Con

    Leaked Scientology Success Stories
    One day I received word that COB wanted a particular type of French truffle for his omelette the next morning. I wasn’t sure how to find them but I decided to go exterior and see if I could find some. It worked! I spotted some in a specific wooded location in France. I immediately assembled a team and we took a private jet to France in order to procure some. Once there I found the location I had spotted while exterior and sure enough there were some perfect truffles there! We flew back just in time for COB’s breakfast. He was very pleased and there no beatings that day. It only cost the church $350,000 but it was well worth it to make COB happy and besides we have no shortage of money for important projects like this. That night I was happily rewarded for my efforts with an extra serving of rice and beans. Yummy! S.W

  • El Ron is a Con

    Leaked Scientology Success Stories
    Wow, I just had the most amazing win regarding mocked-up realities. The other night I observed COB and TC (guess who!) in a romantic embrace. When I mentioned this the next day during my daily sec-check I was assigned 2 large security personnel to assist me with recalling the correct details of that incident. With their help I realized that the incident did not occur but in fact I had created an alternate reality with my OT abilities. I must have done a great job as it seemed so real that I was sure it had occurred. M.G

  • El Ron is a Con

    ASK COB …
    https://scientology411.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/ask-cob-august-7-2013/

    Dear COB: My wife threw a fit when I flowed $50,000 toward my local Ideal Org. She said that money was supposed to go toward our daughter’s college fund. What should I do?

    Your wife is obviously suppressive as there is nothing on this earth more important than Ideal Orgs. A college education will mean nothing thousands of years from now if the psychs have won and enslaved the human race. I have taken the liberty of personally declaring your wife and informing her Facebook friends of her new status. She is to report to Int Base immediately for an indefinite stay in The Hole. Rena Weinberg needs a new gal-pal anyway since I sent Shelly away!

    Dear COB: I’m in the 6th grade and want to drop out of school and join the Sea Org. My parents say I should stay in school, what do you think sir?

    You are to be highly commended for displaying your dauntless dedication to Scientology by seeking to join Ron’s fake navy (which despite appearances is not gay in any way, shape or form). I myself dropped out of school in the 8th grade and it’s the best thing I ever did since all of the teachers are 5th invader fleet psychs in disguise. You have a wonderful career of mopping bathrooms and cleaning bilges ahead of you! Two Sea Org goons (recruiters) have been dispatched to your home to “persuade” your parents to see what the greatest good for the greatest number of my bank accounts, er I mean dynamics is. However if you truly want to earn my respect you’ll make this go right on your own by murdering your parents in their sleep.

    Dear COB: Honey I’m cold and there are worms in my rice and beans. Can I please come home? I promise I’ll be good…

    How the hell did you get this address Shelly!?! You know full well I’m busy correcting all the errors left in the tech by that sloppy fatass LRH and that I don’t have time for your dev-t nonsense! However, I’m not entirely heartless. I’ve ordered your food privileges revoked so no more worm problem!

    • Annie

      These are great!

  • Pierrot

    *** RED X +–+ Reminder +–+ RED X *** Wednesday, 09 September 2015.

    Good morning Night Owls and Early Birds,

    Yesterday : NO SCORE!.

    RedX tips & Complaints procedure are now included in the google doc under the RedXTips tab.
    Flag the lies, whack a few bait & switch ads : https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml

    F5… La Equis , chipping away by Hamtaro, flickred by Aeger Primo https://www.flickr.com/photos/120371503@N05/14292777922/in/set-72157642802079293

  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • vicariousthrill

      Most def

    • Juicer77

      Yes, except these are real people with real lives and families at risk.

      • GrandEclectus

        Promise, even we of the J&D dept are aware of that fact. X

        • Juicer77

          Of course. And many of the J&D’ers have much more personal reasons than I to remember this. xo

  • 9001

    Good morning Bunker! This might be of interest to those looking at Narconon in Denmark. Narconon Arresøhøj was incorporated a couple of days ago https://opencorporates.com/companies/dk/36742089It’s got the same address as Narconon Europa but it’s classified under “Residential institutions for alcoholism and drug addiction treatment”‘ so it looks like a replacement for Narconon Skellingsted. Can someone share this at reachingforthetippingpoint? I’m having problems registering there.

  • Lighthouse

    “Well, OK, that might be a slight exaggeration. In fact, it’s probably more likely that you’d be hit by lightning than to actually run into a Scientologist in the street.”

    According to the US stats (can’t remember the name of the body who does them) in 2001 there were 40 000 members which dropped to 25 000 members in 2008. That’s a drop of 15 000 in six years which is 2500 a year. {If this trend has continued, the number of scios left should be 7500 this year (2015 – 2008 = 7 years at 2500 “lost” per year is 7 500 more dropped out in the past 7 years).}

    Can anyone get the latest official stat update?

  • MereCatWatcher

    A lot of great J & D comments, shoops and videos today. Thanks to all you guys who contribute.