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LEAKED AUDIO: David Miscavige Declares Scientology’s Golden Age at LRH Birthday Event

David Miscavige

David Miscavige

Another exclusive for the Underground Bunker: One of our tipsters dared to conceal an audio recording device while watching David Miscavige deliver the annual L. Ron Hubbard birthday event, which took place at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Florida on March 16.

This is one of Scientology’s biggest events of the year, and much of it involves presenting vignettes about the life of Hubbard to a large audience of church members wearing their finest.

Miscavige talked for hours about the church’s supposed advances in the past year as well as upcoming plans. The audio we received doesn’t sound great, but we’ve managed to transcribe it, giving us a brief slice of the three-hour event and an idea of what Miscavige revealed to pump up the troops.

In this first clip, Miscavige tortures the English language in order to give some sort of justification for why he’s raising so much money to open new churches — called “Ideal Orgs” — in cities that already have facilities. Opening so many unneeded new buildings is bringing Scientology to some kind of new plateau, he explains…

Here’s the transcript, which we put together with the aid of one current and one former church member, doing our best to decipher Miscavige’s odd delivery…

…meaning, a postulate for causative actions in Tone 40 creation of future realities when the eternal dreams come true.

When we rang in the new year, closing out the most epic year in history, I said that nothing you had thus far seen was but a shadow of what we were going to unveil in 2013. To be sure, whenever we pause to celebrate it’s really just a pit stop, at which point it’s full throttle, pedal to the metal, a flagrant disregard for MEST universe speed limits.

It begins with Ideal Orgs, and lest anyone forget, in this golden age, nothing is acceptable but ideal. With what you’ve seen tonight, not to mention Ideal Orgs in years past, you already have some reality on that. But let me give you a further reality adjustment.

If you think you’ve already grasped the full significance and importance of an Ideal Org, well the fact is that you can hardly imagine — no eval intended — just put that under the category of “not know.”

Because the point is, what’s already manifest in terms of public information centers and all introductory routes, not to mention ideal facilities… Well, the truth is what those facilities will soon present will blow you away. Or perhaps I should say, blow you fifty feet out of your head. And since this recent big push, where I know a lot is demanded from all of us, you, in terms of providing energy and wherewithal to lay down the eternal foundation of Scientology, we can be in terms of all else that comprises the LRH legacy to achieve the advancement of Scientologists up the Bridge, thus by extension in working together to in turn multiply dissemination in the (…) levels, commensurate with what is provided in planetary clearing, well, in light of all that, I should also tell you this. There is indeed a transitional make or break point, meaning a new plauteau which later makes possible something more.

Let me put it this way. No matter what I did promise regarding Golden Age of Tech Phase 2 — and believe me, I could promise a lot — the fact is that we had to get beyond the transitional main break with sufficient number of Ideal Orgs until we actually make that golden age a reality. And the truth is, we are now at that point…

Of course that doesn’t mean that we’ve got it all made. But it does mean we have sufficient numbers of ideal central organizations to launch a global training machine working all of the existing Ideal Orgs in exponentially increasing the rate of expansion for the creation of still more new Ideal Orgs, plus missions, plus field groups, not to mention every other sector of activity.

So yes, it’s all about to launch. No, by no means should you feel you are catching your breath. Tonight is something special — Padova, Cambridge, Pretoria — these are not cities that slip off the tongue as if we speak them every day. And yet that these now happened in those places, which means it can be done anywhere. To be certain, the next Ideal Orgs you will see are of both local significance, and as diverse as you can get. The first, in Portland, Oregon, that’s the center of our original religious freedom crusade, and that says it’s an Ideal Org significant to every Scientologist. For make no mistake, that is where we coalesced as a group and forged our winning tradition. You’ve heard enough about it, it was a situation of winning or else. And what says it all is simply this: here we are today and so we’ll be here forever. And more to the point, Portland, Oregon opens next month.

(Miscavige was referring to the three Ideal Orgs opened since the new year, in Padova, Italy; Cambridge, Ontario; and Pretoria, South Africa. When he talks about a religious freedom crusade in Portland, he’s referring to a concerted effort by church members to hold demonstrations in that city following a $39 million judgment against the church in a 1985 fraud lawsuit. Pressure applied by church members, including John Travolta and Chick Corea, appeared to work as the judge declared a mistrial after the jury award.)

We asked former church spokesman Mike Rinder to give us his thoughts on Miscavige’s speech.

This is such classic Shermanspeak [Miscavige’s speeches are written by Dan Sherman, the church’s official L. Ron Hubbard biographer]. It says absolutely nothing. I will shortly be doing a post on my blog that blows the BS about the “Ideal Orgs” to pieces. It is from a staff member currently in one of the Ideal Orgs that was one of the first ones. The place is a desert. Staff can’t afford to eat. They have less than a third the number of staff they had when they first “opened” as an “Ideal Org.”

The Golden Age of Tech II is going to be the release of the “New” Grades that have been delivered at Flag for nine years, but have been forbidden to be exported to other orgs. Tech staff from orgs around the world are being ordered to report to Flag on 20 April to be “trained.” Maybe he will try and “release” the “new” old Mark VIII e-meters that have been sitting in a warehouse for seven years and pretend this is a magnificent accomplishment for “standard tech” (so why not make it available when you had them built if they are so good to help people attain spiritual freedom?).

After pumping up the Ideal Org program, Miscavige later turned to what everyone was anticipating — the Super Power Building. Is it finally going to open? Well, here’s what Miscavige said about it.

We had a harder time transcribing some of this one, particularly near the end. But we didn’t hear anything more specific about an opening date than “just months away”…

Finally and also just months away, let’s not forget where we celebrate tonight. If it seems a long time coming, I have absolutely no doubt, in fact I guarantee it: you will say it was all worth the wait when the doors finally open to our new flag building. In fact…

In fact I’ll go one step further. When you finally walk through those doors to behold what lies within, you’ll say just occupying the space is case gain and going into session, and for that matter, maybe even an intensive.

And if you’re already waiting with bated breath in anticipation of all new LRH rundowns — Super Power, Cause Resurgence — yes, if that’s all you’re anticipating, then it’s once again a case of “not know.”

Because what’s going down behind the scenes is something that impacts every level of the Bridge. By way of just one example: if you could peek behind the doors and see our Class XII course room, you simply wouldn’t believe it. And it establishes a future beyond anything in our history, then go ahead and dub in what else you need to know …

Because that’s right, it means everything will be in place to bust open the very top of the bridge … afterwards

“Just months away”? That’s what he said last year, when he promised that Super Power would be open “before summer dawns.”

Well, that routine has worked for years and years, and judging from the reaction of the crowd, Miscavige may as well keep feeding them the same line.

(In the 1970s, L. Ron Hubbard came up with a series of “rundowns” — counseling processes — that he collectively called Super Power and intended to reinvigorate burned-out employees. Since the early 1990s, however, David Miscavige has promoted the idea of a massive new Super Power facility to energize followers on various parts of their spiritual training. Ground was broken for the new building in November 1998, and something like $50 million has been spent to complete it. However, top former church members — like Mike Rinder — say that as much as $200 million has been raised for the project as the Super Power building is used more as a cash-raising phantom than a real project that may actually open some day. We’re still the only ones to have brought you hundreds of renderings for the building’s interiors on all floors.)

We found it interesting to listen to the reaction by the crowd. Are these folks really this excited about the opportunity to give more donations, or is there a North Korea kind of thing going on, and it’s important to be seen cheering heartily in front of your peers? Give us your thoughts.

 
—————-

KAREN DE LA CARRIERE BEGINS VIDEO SERIES

Last July, we broke the news that Karen de la Carriere had lost her son, Alexander Jentzsch, whose father was Scientology’s president and Karen’s former husband, Heber Jentzsch. Alex had died of a drug overdose, and the church prevented Karen from hearing about it or seeing his body because she had been excommunicated. Now, Karen is telling her own story in a video series professionally produced by church critic Angry Gay Pope. Give the first installment a look…

 

 
—————-

NPR PICKS UP STORY ABOUT APPLIED SCHOLASTICS IN PHOENIX CHARTER SCHOOLS

NPR has picked up a story that a Phoenix radio station first broke about a charter school that caters to underprivileged kids making use of materials supplied by Scientology’s education front group, Applied Scholastics.

It’s a somewhat puzzling story, because the school superintendent, Robert L. Duffy, claims not to be a Scientologist even though he is pushing the thoroughly debunked (and simply ineffective) Hubbard educational materials, which dumb down learning in order to promote Scientology concepts. Is Duffy really this clueless, or does he have some other agenda with the church?

 
—————-

SMERSH Madness: Sowing the Seeds of World Domination!

As we announced on March 1, we’re joining bracket fever with a tournament like no other. It’s up to you to decide who should be named the new SMERSH, the traditional nemesis of Scientology. Cast your vote for who’s doing more to propel the church down its long slide into oblivion!

Our third regional final, to determine the champion of the Diana bracket!

DMVsWWP

David Miscavige is the Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center, but don’t let that confuse you: Miscavige rules every corner of the Church of Scientology with absolute authority. He would say he’s just carrying on the wishes of the founder, L. Ron Hubbard, but the large number of longtime members leaving the church these days tend to blame Miscavige for turning them away and putting the church into crisis. Some would say he’s driving it into the ground with extreme fundraising and harsh “ethics.” But what do we know. (Previously: Miscavige defeated Vance Woodward in the first round and Tory Christman in the Sweet Sixteen.)

WhyWeProtest.net is an online forum for the Anonymous anti-Scientology program, Project Chanology. Wild and woolly, the site became less about the worldwide protests that started in 2008 and more about the research being done by scores of vigilant Internet sleuths. Like any forum, its cast of characters is always changing, but document releases seem to have been particularly good in recent months. (Previously: WWP defeated Anderson Cooper in the first round and Paul Haggis in the Sweet Sixteen.)

 
Go to our March 1 post for the latest tournament results.

 
——————-

Posted by Tony Ortega on March 27, 2013 at 07:00

 

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  • John P.

    Apparently there’s a new statistic that Miscavige will soon be claiming as proof of the “straight up and vertical” expansion. No longer does Scientology enable you to operate from “three feet behind your head,” but now, when you really understand the Ideal Org strategy, you will be “blow[n] fifty feet out of your head.” That’s 16.67x the outness of your headness!

    On the new super power building, apparently, it’s so holy that it will blow you fifty feet out of your head just walking in the door. So is he saying that a quick swing thruogh the lobby will replace tens of thousands of dollars of auditing and you won’t need to pick up the cans any longer?

    On the one hand, I’d like to vote for WWP. They’re the voice of the anon community that has done so much in the last five years to not only shake the foundations of the cult but to change the way the anti-cult activist game is played. I have to believe that thousands of protesters at nearly half the cult’s locations appearing at the same time in 2008 had to have frightened Miscavige to his core and caused him to take tons of short-sighted and damaging actions. But that’s exactly why I am voting for David Miscavige today. Because of his fear masquerading as power over others, because of his incompetence which is constantly finding new ways to express itself, because of his ruthless elimination of anyone else who could possibly have the competence needed to save the cult from the course it’s on, and of course because of his idiotic empty bloviation at these events, Miscavige is one for the history books as a source for enturbulation (for the cult) and lulz (for the rest of the world).

    • Observer

      Miscavige makes the Super Power building sound like the new Auditing Process R2-45.

      • Roger Larsson

        To pick between $cientology and future lives in the mud, as Hubbard did with his machine gun (typewriter) as his weapon in power?

        • Observer

          I would choose the mud. At least it wouldn’t be trying to take all my money and disconnect my family.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      No longer does Scientology enable you to operate from “three feet behind your head,” but now, when you really understand the Ideal Org strategy, you will be “blow[n] fifty feet out of your head.” That’s 16.67x the outness of your headness!

      ^^^It is Official. I am joining the John P. brain licker club after all!

      • 0tessa

        If we’re all fifty feets behing our head, we don’t need no buildings anymore …

    • FLUNK101

      JohnP, are you mocking exteriorization?
      OK.
      Let me ask you a philosophical question: 

      How far is it from here to there?

      I can answer that question in no uncertain terms with total certainty.
      Part of our sense of “self” is the perceived location of that self. When you have an OBE (out of body experience), there is a “hereness” to “thereness” between your self and your body, creating a “farness.”
      In a sense, when you are exterior, the farness is the hereness to thereness from the body to infinte beingness. Therefore, the only measurable distance from here to there is your own distance DOWN the tone scale … and any so-called “distance” is a “MEST” illusion that can only be resolved by moving “up” the tone scale.
      This helps explain why the clams love concepts like “straight up and vertical.” It also explains how Scientology diverts you from what’s really important in life, like some kind of invisible drug.

      • John P.

        I am not mocking exteriorization, per se. I was simply amused that instead of the standard Scientology saying about being “three feet behind your head,” Miscavige is attempting to improve even on that by now telling people that they will get blown not three feet or ten feet out of their head but 50 whole feet. The rest of the transcript seemed so desperately free of tangible details that I figured this was about the only concrete number he’d throw out all night. Yes, I know, there were plenty of boring Birthday Game stats in other parts of the presentation, but this transcript is remarkably free of specifics about anything.

        Regarding OBE’s, I don’t take a position. I accept that people who have had OBE’s have really had that experience (i.e., they are not making it up). But the conundrum is whether the experience is an accurate record of actually having been out of the body or if it is some sort of dream-like state. Last night, I finished a book called Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, a neurosurgeon who contracted bacterial meningitis and lay in a coma for over a week, clinically brain dead, and who had vivid images of a near-death experience involving a lengthy trip to heaven, memories that remained vivid even after he awoke. Surprised, Z, that a cynical numbers geek like me would be reading about spirituality? There is much about me you do not know.

        Alexander regained full function, which was a medical miracle, and analyzed what he experienced in light of his medical training to rule out a dozen medical explanations for what he experienced. I was intrigued by the possibilities but still think he left a few stones unturned in his attempts to explain scientifically what happened, so I remain unconvinced. In particular, he did not appear to consider the effects of altered rates of time in dream states — EEG’s show that dreams happen in a brief period (seconds to minutes) while the dreamer often reports on awakening that the dream went on for hours or days. It appears he assumes implicitly his out of body experience lasted exactly the period of time he underwent brain death when he was out, and that’s a potentially fatal assumption. So I am open to the possibility but I also think cognitive neuroscience is a young enough field that it has not weighed in fully on the phenomenon.

        • Captain Howdy

          I think Funk was mocking his own past beliefs, and trying to make your head hurt 2 days in a row.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          I read that book too and I came away with much the same assessment you did about his conclusions. Especially what you say about altered rates of time.
          What struck me about “him” was the “absoluteness” of his belief in it.

          Of course, since I am an OBE’r….Who am I to doubt the guy!

          • Captain Howdy

            So what’s the scientific theory for OBE’s that doesn’t invole a belief in the supernatural/metaphysical ?

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Consciousness and perception? There is nothing supernatural about our consciousness. At least not to me…so I guess it is more my theory.

              If I perceive myself to be outside my physical frame, then I am. It is as real as that time you described before when it happened to you. You “felt” it.

              Admit it….it was a little freaky wasn’t it?

              Some people just can do this thing easily for some reason. It used to scare the bejesus out of me when I was a little kid because I didn’t understand it.
              Then I got to liking it and it made me curious and so I started reading about it. It is one of the reasons I read Godel, Escher, Bach years ago.

              Funny though….I have read a lot and I now know less than I did in the beginning.

              John P. is right. Cognitive Science is a seedling science right now. Our consciousness is the hardest problem we will ever solve….if we indeed solve it at all.

              Edit:
              I have data for you! It is almost Easter!
              There is a spring thaw happening in the “Midwest”
              We should hear “rapping” very soon.

            • FLUNK101

              Yeah, BTN! Qualia … that word alway reminded me of these two belly dancers I knew, Alia and
              Dalia.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Well thanks Flunk,… you ought to see my continents!

            • FLUNK101

              🙂

            • FistOfXenu

              There’s an offer you can’t refuse Flunk.

            • Exterrier

              “You can learn a lot from Lydia”….. and BTN

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I thought I had those tattoo’s well hidden 😉

            • 0tessa

              I wrote a comment about that the other day. It’s having to do with information from various sensory systems not being properly aligned in the brain. E.g. an epileptic attack can cause an OBE.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              That is a singular explanation.

          • I used to have visionary seizures when I was younger. When you are in the grip of one, or the immediate aftermath, it is impossible to doubt that crystal certainty: you have received revelations from God or been possessed by a demon, nothing in between. Only as I grew out of the condition did it start to become possible to believe that visions were not really a source of truth.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              But isn’t is just as possible to believe that while not a source “of” truth, that they were true, nonetheless?

            • Allow me to recommend the novel “Lying Awake,” by Mark Salzman (he of “Iron & Silk”). It’s about a nun with a brain tumor causing religiously euphoric seizures. She’s reluctant to have the routine surgery that will fix it, and thus end the ecstasy.

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          I think Flunk got ya with that one John. Or he’s on some new meds…

        • FLUNK101

          I got you.
          Miscavige’s comments cracked me up as well.
          And I’ve heard good things about “Proof of Heaven.” It’s an interesting area. One of my favorite books about the brain is Antonio Damasio’s “The Feeling of What Happens.” He is an expert on all the stages of coma and wakefulness, and from that he derived a theory of consciousness.
          I know I’ve posted this a million times before, but I love this article about out of body experiences being created in the lab:

          http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=real-outof-body-experiences

          Interestingly, instead of telling you to be “three feet behind your head,” they put a video camera three feet behind your head, and you see that image in your video goggles.

          I know I criticized the clams for their obsessions with being “exterior” and going up the tone scale. I was a young Scientologist once, and when I didn’t have the rent money, I criticized myself for being “50 miles above the surface of the Earth.” That was my expression for being too “exterior” to reality and my responsibilities.

          Flunk

          I noticed you called me “Z.” Do you prefer my “Ziontologist” avatar over “Flunk?”

          I got you.
          Miscavige’s comments cracked me up as well.
          And I’ve heard good things about “Proof of Heaven.” It’s an interesting area. One of my favorite books about the brain is Antonio Damasio’s “The Feeling of What Happens.” He is an expert on all the stages of coma and wakefulness, and from that he derived a theory of consciousness.
          I know I’ve posted this a million times before, but I love this article about out of body experiences being created in the lab:

          http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=real-outof-body-experiences

          Interestingly, instead of telling you to be “three feet behind your head,” they put a video camera three feet behind your head, and you see that image in your video goggles.

          I was a young Scientologist once, and when I didn’t have the rent money, I criticized myself for being “50 miles above the surface of the Earth.” That was my expression for being too “exterior” to reality and my responsibilities.

          Flunk

          I noticed you called me “Z.” Do you prefer my “Ziontologist” avatar over “Flunk?”

          • Captain Howdy

            I prefer “Flunk”. I have too many engrams in relation to Ziontology. Maybe I was a nazi in a past life.

          • John P.

            Do you prefer my “Ziontologist” avatar over “Flunk?”

            I like Chagall.

            • FLUNK101

              “I like Chagall.”

              Yes, JohnP!

              I LOVE Chagall!

              I also like the portrait of of Marc Chagall by the artist Giselle … (see photo)

            • stillgrace

              Oh, crap! LOL! I could have gone all day without seeing that!!
              Let’s hope BTN doesn’t get ambushed with it!

            • BuryTheNuts2

              HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

              TOO LATE!
              DAMN IT JOHN!

              Christ…I need to lay down for a bit.

              MY GOD IT IS HUGE!!!

            • grundoon

              Flunk101 has one thing that Chagall never had: The oiliness table!

            • FLUNK101

              Thanks Grundoon!

      • FistOfXenu

        Flunk, love your descriptionness. For me it creates clarityness about the utter bullshitness created by LiarRon Humptydumpty. PERIOD!

      • Jgg2012

        actually, the only difference between here and there is the letter T.

        • FistOfXenu

          “This philosophical contribution by Flunk101 is brought to you by the letter T and the number straight up and vertical”

      • Exterrier

        You rang the bell on the Scale of Sarcastiness.

    • Jgg2012

      3 feet outside of your head and totally out of your mind.

      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

        “3 feet outside of your head and totally out of your mind.”

        We in RTC reserve the right to steal that line in the future.

    • i-Betty

      “the outness of your headness”

      That just cracked me up!

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Blow you 50 feet out of your head?

      Yes, well, we in RTC weren’t joking when we said that Scientologists will, metaphorically speaking, have thousands of bowling balls fired at them from a series of powerful air cannons arranged in a circle and placed at different elevations to ensure that, yes, no matter what you did to evade you would still be hit in the face by thousands of bowling balls and so that is why we say that what COB RTC David Miscavige will soon unleash heretofore unimagined technical breakthroughs upon Scientologists will blow them fifty feet out of their heads and so, yes, you can place that in the category of “don’t know” because, quite frankly, we in RTC don’t know what COB is talking about either. Nevertheless we blindly trust COB with everything as he has never once failed to keep a promise, has never told a lie, and no, he has never beaten anyone and his wife is on post.

      And just as those Scientologists in the past when in other lives as Romans laid the eternal foundations of Rome, so too have they reincarnated now in this era to lay the eternal foundations of Scientology, and we in RTC hasten to add that just as the foundations of Rome were built upon vomitoriums and orgies, so too will certain of the Super Power Rundowns spin Scientologists around so furiously on three axes as to cause vertigo, disorientation, and projectile vomiting of such magnitudes that, yes, the Super Power Vomitorium has become a reality, and when we say a reality we mean complete with high pressure water hoses and floor drains to clean up the place in seconds flat to make way for the next Scientologist standing in a long line of Scientologists waiting to be violently spun around while lights and lasers and a loud cacophony of sounds assault one’s senses in a dramatic reenactment of that event of seventy-five million years ago that created the R6 bank and now holds the planet and everyone thereon in thrall, and to make it even more real, small flaming projectiles made of tar will be fired at Scientologists as a voice asks them repeatedly “is it real to you know?”, which is to say that the ancient catastrophe of seventy five million years ago will have become so real to these Scientologists that they will literally be begging, and we down on their knees dry heaving and begging to be let out of the trap and so, yes, the only salvation is at the top of the Bridge and, by way of driving home what COB is saying. we of course refer to OT IX and X and so yes, true Planetary Clearing is arriving just in time to head off Armageddon, and we do mean a true Psych Armageddon in which everyone is murdered by Psych drones laden with deadly nuclear missiles unleashed by those insane Dutch “Merchants of Chaos” in the Cyberbunker who are even now giving the world a taste of the mayhem to come in a Brave New World spiraling out of control, and this why we say that Fleet Admiral Miscavige is riding at the head of the Super Power Cavalry to save the Planet!

      And for COB’s having saved the Planet just in the nick of time, we all rise to our feet in wildly hysterical and seemingly uncontrolable applause and say, “Thank you Sir!”

      http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a563/OTVIIIisGrrr8/COBSuaveNewLook_zpsdd0bdbef.png

      • John P.

        Our writing style seems to be a bit … interesting … today. Have we been reading James Joyce again?

        • He’s more comprehensible than James Joyce, and worlds more comprehensible than any Scientologist. Also, hilarious. I love the desperate undertone OT8 is able to work into his posts.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Mmmmmaybe.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        three axes ?

        Don’t tell me….Study tech?

      • Jgg2012

        OT8, the longest word in the language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, also called pneumoconiosis or silicosis. It is longer than supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and it is a lung disease caused by too little smoking. You may want to used it to facilitate your loquaciousness.

        • Johan

          Surely comment of the day.

          • Jgg2012

            Why thank you. We in RTC love to enturbate, and, while we can recall living in the era of antidisestablishmentarianism, Scientology is, in fact, floccinaucinihilipilification.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Fascinating word “neumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis,”

          We sent it to Danny Sherman to use very soon.

        • FistOfXenu

          And here I thought it was caused by premature exposure to OTIII

        • TendonProblem

          Tell this chuck beatty

      • Missionary Kid

        Amen. Pass the butter.

      • Captain Howdy

        Recycling material are we? There are NO DAYS OFF in the Sea Org ! Report to ethics ASAP! I place you in the condition of “slothiness”

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Not recycling, but re-releasing data with corrections just as we did with the Basics.

          And yes, each of you will be billed $5,000 for our re-released and corrected post. We are billing you so that our exchange stays in.

          • Captain Howdy

            Of course. What was I thinking ?

      • cannonball tech….sweeeeeet!

    • Are_sics

      ” That’s 16.67x the outness of your headness!”

      You are a super genius!. Too damn funny. It hurts! But thanks, this ribcage rattling is the most intense workout I’ve had in three days.

      I don’t mean to overlook the rest of the post, but I’m just pausing in appreciation and shortness of breath!

    • DodoTheLaser

      Regarding super power amazing shindig, notice Miscavige talking about all the Class XII Auditors preparing to blow everyone’s mind all the way to Arcturus. The thing is, last time I checked, prerequisite for a super power auditor was Class IV, but I guess Class XII sounds a lot better, oh and it’s about 300% more expensive. So theta though.

  • Creepy Scientology Dictator audio is creepy.

  • Observer

    Had to go with Davey again, simply because as the head of the “church” he’s destroying it from the inside in a way that no outside opponent–and WWP is a formidable opponent–can match.

    As someone who has done a whole lot of transcription, I offer both my congratulations and my heartfelt condolences to Tony or whoever transcribed this. My heart breaks as I think of the poor soul having to listen/repeat over and over to make sense of Sherman’s tortured verbiage as delivered by Big Being #2. And many thanks to the gutsy tipster as well. I would imagine security at DM’s little orgies of self-congratulation will get a lot tighter.

  • VickiStubing

    Mr. David Miscavige isn’t even speaking English as I understand the definition. I’ve never heard of anyone who can use so many words to say absolutely nothing.

    It’s so hard to vote against WWP, but the King of Footbullets must rise and take his throne.

    How in the world did someone get a recorder past security? Bravo! And a big thanks 😀

    • Missionary Kid

      I liked the phrase, “king of footbullets.” Does anybody have a decoder ring to use so I can understand what he said? This gibberish went on for how long?

      I’m going to repeat this again: Miscavage’s Law: If there’s a way of fucking things up, he will.

      • coonellie

        And, you’re an optimist 😉

    • coonellie

      “I’ve never heard of anyone who can use so many words to say absolutely nothing.”
      Really…listen to State Department briefings. They’re an ‘ideal’ lesson in learning to say a mouthful, whilst saying nothing at all.

    • Ze Moo

      Many mp3 players have a record function built in. You just have to empty it of mp3s and hit record. I have one that is just a little larger then a book of matches, easy to conceal. There are small video/audio recorders that are about the size of a pack of cigarettes, I hope someone takes one into the next ‘stupor powerz briefing.

      • Missionary Kid

        iPhones can be used to record things, too.

    • FistOfXenu

      So DM is proof of how good the Comms course is? And how good the cult’s learning tech is? He’s the poster boy for how screwed up people can get if they’re raised $cientarCONon style.

      I don’t want to ask too many questions about that recorder. I wish we didn’t even know that much.

      As for the King of Footbullets, it’s true, he is. But he’s even bad at that now. He needs help finding his foot with a gun and the bullets the same way he needs help finding his ass with both hands and a map. WWP help him with the foot bullets. Obviously he’ll keep having trouble finding his ass until somebody hands it to him. Preferably the police, a court of law, a high security prison and good old Bubba.

    • I’ve never heard of anyone who can use so many words to say absolutely nothing.

      He’s only following in the footsteps of L. Ron Hubbard. Miscavige has a long way to go to catch up to that blowhard.

  • “To be sure/make no mistake”, it’s amazing anyone is still buying his bullshit.

  • My own sources have provided this image of the recently-promoted Admiral of the Fleet and Chairman of the Board, Religious Technology Center, David Miscavige speaking to the hundreds of thousands of devoted parishioners from all corners of the earth, some traveling from as far away as Boise, Idaho.

    Elaborating on the remarkable expansion of Scientology since he took the helm, the Admiral said he had instructed RTC scientists to invent a new branch of mathematics defining an angle even more straight up than vertical for future announcements of the Church’s ineluctable growth.

    Flanked by his two trusty lieutenants, the Admiral also took the opportunity to showcase the dashing new Sea Org uniforms.

    http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121026165632/capcomdatabase/images/9/98/RE4Salazar.png

    Andrew

    • Captain Howdy

      Andrew, I’m gobsmacked ! Someone needs to grab that for an avatar before I do.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Yes, Andrew, we in the Church of Scientology do indeed need a new sort of mathematics that describes a super acute angle of “straight up and vertical” as occurs when, for example, a make or break point is reached and then exceeded in such a way that total structural failure occurs but, in nearly absolute PR terms, looks like a stellar Scientology victory of cosmic magnitude.

      Which is by way of saying that purchasing buildings = technical breakthroughs = COB has saved the Planet.

      This new formula should be called “The Miscavige Line of Don’t Know.”

      But then again, we in the Church of Scientology are opposed to unnecessarily alarming the world population, sending stock markets crashing, and creating a run on the new E-Meters that is unsustainable. So this new math must simultaneously show why Scientology is booming and happy even as a Psych-drug-fueled Armageddon is destroying the world. We in RTC think that the resolution has to do with billions of people buying, purchasing, and listening to the subliminally-enhanced volume of music entitled Theta Jazz:

      http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a563/OTVIIIisGrrr8/COB15_zps2b77d6af.png

      • Missionary Kid

        I see he’s using the latest tech, like he does for everything else.

        • FistOfXenu

          He didn’t have a choice. He tried playing his records on a Mark VII e-meter 1st but it kept playing back LRH singing “Thank You For Listening”.

          • Missionary Kid

            He couldn’t bother with 8-track or even cassettes, could he, let alone a DVD or thumb drive. Of course, he’ll maintain that the sound is richer on vinyl, but the speakers on that rig only go to about 5, when he requires 11.

  • aquaclara

    Love how your tipster got away with this one, Tony! Well, I guess it’s not really a big surprise to me that the SuperPower Building is “opening soon.” This could mean anytime in the next ten years. We’ll wait. There will be lots more to talk about whenever it does open, to be sure.
    Davy’s ideal orgs continue to be like those projects started by controlling bosses who continue along with their bright ideas well after it’s been proven they don’t work, thwarting any opposition or real discussion along the way. It’s the focus of his remarks here, and yet, he manages to say nothing at all. I can picture and hear the hyperboilc puking of excitement from the other speakers, a la Andrea Doven, equal in their ability to basically say nada but with great excitement that’s intended as a pep talk for the loyal followers. How’s that working so far, Davy?
    Mike Rinder’s comments are a tease… Can’t wait to hear more from him.
    I voted for WWP, despite the fact that Davy is a walking disaster in every way. I like watching the Anons take down the walls of secrets and lies. I believe they have done more to stop the inflow of staff and public, crushing the pyramid scheme of the Scychos. They took on the cult, showing the world that their blather and tactics don’t work the same way they had in the past. And mainstream audiences started paying attention. The lasting damage will affect the cult for decades.

  • B.B. Broeker

    OT (no, not that OT – “off-topic”), but NPR’s Morning Edition just had a pretty good piece on Applied Scholastics.

    • TonyOrtega

      I added a note about it to the story.

  • I liked Karen’s video, but there was one thing that needs clarification. “The church” was always the bad guy in the video, and we know that behind the scenes, this was true. But legally, in the age or privacy we live in, Alexander had to be the one to tell her he was ill. Legally, his wife had the authority after his death to make all decisions, and it was her instructions to the funeral home to not allow Karen access. The church was the puppet master, but the individuals have to bear their responsibility.

  • jensting

    Cat photos be darned, I’m going to have to go with David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige. Especially after reading those transcripts. (No, I’m not going to listen to it – I don’t have anything against my ears.)

    I was going to pick the speech apart, but I had to grind to a halt after two “sentences.” There’s just no point. I would have assumed that Dan Sheman usually did better and that this one was written by DM himself, but if Mike R reckons it’s classic Sherman, I’m happy to go with that. (The reason I would think DM wrote it himself is that Sheman presumably knows how to string a sentence together whereas this bloviage doesn’t really show much sign of the writer being that capable…)

    Oh, and the City of Cambridge might be well know, but it’s not the one they’re thinking of. Tee-hee. (Nothing against Cambridge Ontario, but the one I lived was the other one 😉 )

  • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

    I think of the stand-up comedian saying, “It’ll work in this room”.

    Take away the scieno-speak and it still wouldn’t work anywhere else. His speech replaces wit with smugness, meaning with verbosity, emphasis with the feel of someone reading for the first time. We are listening to a man too OT to edit who is simply in love with his own words.

    I was actually expecting something good. I have heard him (via the internet) be very convincing but maybe that phase of his leadership has ended. Maybe he knows the cult is going down on it’s back and that there is nothing that he can do about it. Maybe he can’t conjure up the energy or imagination to sell the bitter fruit any more.

    In spite of all this I proudly voted for whyweprotest. It wouldn’t matter who was in charge– Scientology is rotten to the core. The internet is killing it.

    • FistOfXenu

      WWP and the rest of the anti $cientarCONon protesters and net warriors have made DM much more effective to destroy the cult than he could be on his own. WWP means more outsiders know better than to join, and insiders having doubts have a much better chance of having a cognition that their doubts are valid. And then WWP is part of the way they can see that if they leave there’s people out here to help.

      • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

        I wonder what things would be like if Hubbard, through some miracle, were still there.

        Hubbard was a violent, greedy and arrogant man. He was brilliant at manipulating those he could manipulate but almost everyone saw through him for what he was. I imagine that were he with us today people would still be running away in droves. But they couldn’t blame it on Davey the mean old torch bearer while bemoaning the passing of their wise and courageous Uncle Ron.

        From all indications regging is worse now but only because the culties are continuing to perfect the art. They did everything they could back then to suck the last nickle out of their followers. The Debbie Cooks, Karen De la Carrieres, Martys and Mikes would be fleeing now too, but for different reasons. Remember Dr. Winter, John W. Campbell, Nibs (The Jenna of 1960), and Sonia Bianca all realized that they had been fooled and got out in much the same way the current high profiles are leaving.

        I think Davey did a great job trading poison for gold as long as he has. Who could have done it better, really? Pat and Ann Broeker as king and queen? Princess Diana? Mike and Marty as bipartite rulers? Tommy (Mom always liked you best) Davis? How about Captain Bill? I saw him speak in person and believe it or not he was just as good as Dave– I was one of the inculcated and even I thought he was crazy.

        So it’s time someone put together a David Miscavige appreciation site for the Brigham Young of Scientology. It is he who calmed the IRS. It is he who sucked 11 million out of Nancy Cartwright. It is he who kept the cult members out of jail after Lisa McPherson died. He raised money for the superpower centre. He rested the power away from the evil mission holders. Hail, Davey. In fact, Seig Heil, Davey. How’s this for a motto: “He ain’t our Jesus, but he just might be our Pope”.

        • FistOfXenu

          But he’s already our dwarfenfuhrer!

        • Missionary Kid

          He can’t be our Jesus, because he didn’t die for our “sins.”

    • Captain Howdy

      Here’s my WWII metaphor. Anonymous was “D-Day” for the cult, and Katie Holmes was ‘Stalingrad”, and we’re still waiting for “Hiroshima”. D.M is the incompetent dictator named “Schicklgruber”.

      • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

        I swear to God, I hadn’t seen your comment when I threw in that Sieg Heil.

  • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

    Listen to far more effective speech, only one minute long, written and produced by L.Ron Hubbard in the 1950’s.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKY2O4KFmMU

  • “…Finally and also…”

    “…exponentially increasing the rate of expansion for the creation of still more…”

    “…And yet that these now happened in those places…”

    “…By way of just one example…”

    If Lovecraftian eldric language existed, the sort that makes you feel madness just by reading it, this would be it.

    (Also, that’s not an example David, that was just a statement about a non specific thing.)

    • Vogon oratory?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Undoubtedly!

    • “By way of…” appears a whole lot in DM’s speeches. It’s always impossible to untangle what is supposed to have occurred by way of what else. This stuff could have been generated by a machine, and perhaps it was.

      • “To wit” is my favorite but this time it seems absent. Which made me sad.

    • BosonStark

      Finally and also, if that weren’t enough, make no mistake, and more to the point, if you’re already waiting with bated breath, to be sure, well the fact is, then it’s once again a case of really just a pit stop, pedal to the metal, full throttle…

      • EnthralledObserver

        COB… is that you?

      • FistOfXenu

        no eval, Boson

    • The Professor

      Presumably all of DM’s speeches and Scientology promotional blurbs are written by Dan Sherman, because they all exhibit the same bizarre style. I don’t know if DM orders Sherman to write in this way, or if this is just the way Sherman writes (and if so, how the hell did this happen?), but it is very surreal and weird.

      The only thing I can imagine is that DM likes to hear his own voice (in all seriousness) and this manner of speech really emphasizes tonal resonance (or maybe dissonance, if you prefer), because that’s the only “advantage” in speaking this way, if you can call it an advantage. Otherwise it doesn’t make sense because he’s using well over a dozen sentences to relay bits of info that can be reduced to phrases and single sentences.

      • FistOfXenu

        Self preservation. I think Sherman writes that way because he figured out that as long as DM can’t understand it he thinks it sounds intelligent. And as long as he can’t understand it he can’t ecide something’s wrong with it, so he won’t smack Sherman around as much. And for DM it means that since he’s saying so much it proves he has a lot to say. Everybody wins except the poor saps sitting in the auditorium.

      • John P.

        Sherman writes like he does because that is the way Miscavige likes it. I am sure that if you looked at the events from 20 years ago and compared them today, you’d see a clear progression in prose.

        Compare Miscavige to Apple’s Steve Jobs. A later classic is the 2008 intro video for the Macbook Air: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvfrVrh76Mk. Jobs didn’t use digital voice enhancement. He was utterly comfortable with a relatively thin voice. The volume in the theater was comfortable. And if you notice, Jobs was a master of pauses, which add great effect to his simple words. He never used a podium and the whole rest of the stage is minimally decorated. The slides, instead of busy, overdone “recreations” of the life of Hubbard, are Zen-like in their minimalist simplicity. The words and the sentence structure are especially crafted to be simple and accessible. The simplicity is not to say that Jobs is winging it in the presentation — he is a talented speaker who is far more carefully rehearsed and has obsessed over the details of the presentation far more than Miscavige. Every word and gesture was planned out meticulously. But it feels good. So good that the Macbook Air went on to sell tens of billions of dollars worth of product in the next couple years. And its only real selling point was the thin factor — it was under-powered, inflexible, and the keyboard is impossible to type on quickly. But the Jobs “reality distortion field” captured in this presentation created the magic and got millions to buy them.

        Cut back to Miscavige, the antithesis of Jobs on stage in every possible dimension. What results come out of his presentation, a presentation to an audience that’s basically blackmailed to sit in those seats on pain of disconnection and “losing their eternity”? Nobody walked out of there convinced that they wanted to be the first to undergo Super Powers. Nobody walked out thinking, “I must really cash in more of my pension plan to support the IAS.” Nobody walked out of there thinking they are desperate to find out more about GAT 2. They endured the event then left as quickly as possible to avoid the clutches of the regs. The event delivered probably 10% or 20% fewer dollars to the cult than last year. The opposite of launching a multi-billion dollar product. Sometimes authenticity works. In Miscavige’s case, no amount of trying to disguise who he really is will work.

        • Thank god DM doesn’t try to emulate Steve Jobs.

  • shell lancaster

    Transcription is great but what about a translation. Wow! My heart went out to Karen. Power to you for putting the video together. Xx

    • sugarplumfairy

      I’ll translate for you: we made some minute changes do that we can charge you lots of money again for every single thing you’ve already done and paid for..

      • Sherbet

        sugarplum, you could have saved the audience HOURS of agony by printing your translation on an index card and handing them out at the door.

        • Observer

          Where’s the glory for Davey in that? lol

          • Sherbet

            You’re right, Observer. DM needs his applause. But his and lrh’s vision are about as accurate as a fortune cookie, anyway.

            • sugarplumfairy

              Hey, don’t dis fortune cookies.. I got one once that said “enjoyed the meal? buy one to go, too..” turned out to be great advice..

  • shell lancaster

    Oh and to the scions that keep stalking me. I know you are there and i know you have moved in down the road. You don’t scare me.

    • AnonymousSP

      So more Ronbots wasting their lives stalking someone. They think they’re helping the planet! Your enturbulation powerz must be very high.

  • Seriously, thats not an example. Isn’t he required to read the dictionary term of a word the he doesn’t understand?

    He basically said, “Here’s an example: It is really cool.”

    • Sherbet

      “read the dictionary term of a word he doesn’t understand” — I think dm read the whole darn dictionary to the audience that night, starting with aardvark.

      • FistOfXenu

        and proved how super intelligent he is by randomizing the whole thing as he spoke. And here I thought he had to plan it out.

        • Sherbet

          Wouldn’t it be funny if the TelePrompTer operator scrambled it all on purpose, and nobody even noticed the difference, because the speech was nonsensical to begin with?

          • FistOfXenu

            Not impossible Sherbet. And it would explain a lot.

  • 0tessa

    I can’t do it. I just can’t vote for Miscavige. I just won’t give him credit for anything, even if it is the destruction of his phony church. I doubt also whether it is he who will bring the show to a halt. He has been showmaster for more than 30 years! And it is still going on …
    No, no, it has to come from people like Ortega, Rinder, Karen de la Carriere, Jerry Armstrong, etc., etc., who supply the real information on the net, for everyone to read.

    • I’ll never forget the sight of those hundreds of protestors on Yonge Street in Toronto, screaming about signs and toys they were holding up and pointing to the Scientology building across the street: “This is not a cult, THAT’s a cult!!”

      • stanrogers

        It was nice to see the TO org boarded up when I walked by yesterday. The sign said something about renovations, but I kind of hope it stays that way. Just another stage in cleaning up the Yonge Street strip.

  • Patty Moher

    Listening to Davey brought back the memories of the last few events I attended, where my eyes would glaze over listening to this blowhard say absolutely nothing.

    When I was a full fledged cultist, I actually liked attending events and due to my involvement with OSA, I occasionally would assist in security, which meant, I watched or even nicely questioned people that I didn’t recognize as members.

    Sometime in 2000 that “cognative dissonance” thing started happening and it became apparent that Int Management was telling “acceptable truths” rather than reporting on the facts. Why was that?

    DM does this machine gun like presentation of stats with the graphs going up on the screen and you only get about a 2 second look at them. Then I noticed that he never included any numbers on the graphs. Graphs with no numbers? Boink! Something wrong here!

    As I became disaffected with Scn I wanted others to know about what was going on inside so I started attending events and with my new eyes would write a report and anonymously post it to alt.religion.scientology, the old guard forum for anti scientology activities. I was able to do this from 2001 until 2005 when I was finally outed by the cult. A few of those reports are here.

    http://tinyurl.com/caj6opn

    At first, attending the events on the sly was fun, but near the end it was getting painful. Painful to listen to the bullshit and knowing that my friends at the event were sucking it all down. Of course I couldn’t stand up at an event and say “Wake the fuck up!” I would have been but in isolation as being PTS Type III ( completely, jibberishly insane). One way of fighting back was to report to the SP’s what was being said at the Int events. I knew this would go up the cult’s ass big time, and I did it because the cult needed to be exposed for the liars and bullies they are.

    These events are now a total snooze fest. The only news is about Ideal Orgs and all expansion news seems to be in places like Ghana or Columbia with staged photo ops.

    Scientology is bleeding to death. It’s a good thing.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      How come you’re not on the bracket list?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Good point!

      • F_Randy_Hullabaloo

        yeah! 😉

    • Trustmeonthis

      Wow. Thanks for the pointer! I just read one at random, and it contained this great story (from 2005):

      SCIENTOLOGY EVENT WEIRD MOMENT

      I wanted to end on a cheerful note so I’ve saved the “Scientology Event Moment” for last. It happened during the first hour when DM was rattling off the stats. You know, where he goes so fast that nobody has time to actually think about any of them, and afterwards nobody remembers what they were.

      He announces that LRH has just been acknowledged by Guinness World Records as the author translated into the most languages. DM still has lots more to say about it but everybody in the audience jumps out of their seats in a truly spontaneous and noisy standing ovation for LRH.

      Does DM shut up and let them enjoy their celebration?

      No! He plows right on and tries to talk over them!

      Does the audience shut up and let DM finish?

      No! They don’t care that he’s still talking, stay on their feet and keep on applauding, cheering and whistling LRH loudly!

      All I could think was, “This is The Battle Of The Titans!” LRH, represented by his devoted followers, versus DM, represented by himself!

      Neither side gave an inch! The audience didn’t stop and sit down until DM had spoken his last word!

      It was a first, and a truly priceless Scientology Event Weird Moment.

      LOL!!

      • John P.

        A competent public speaker (of which I am one) would have been able to handle this in a way that actually worked. Perhaps the easiest thing to do would have been able to get in front of the audience, by saying, “yes, that’s right, this is all about LRH and his great ideas,” and then he can clap loudly. In other words, act like you are in front of the parade again and people will follow you. Then when you move to cut off the audience, they’ll quiet down. The key thing is that you never say anything consequential over an applause line. Makes you look like a robot and makes you look like you have no relationship with the audience.

        But Miscavige’s attempt to talk over the audience applause shows that he is a) utterly terrified of ad-libbing so all he can do is stick to the TelePrompTer no matter how far off the rails things go, and b) is afraid to give any credit to Hubbard — he’s trying to make the presentation all about his brilliance. I wonder to what extent the audience subconsciously picked up on that and let him twist in the wind?

        A highly revealing moment… thanks for pulling that out of Patty’s reminiscences.

        • Are_sics

          Good public speaking tips!

          I think DM knew, deep down — or maybe
          even on the surface — what a complete disaster his Nightline
          appearance was. He had sycophantic approval, no doubt, with which to
          comfort himself. In spite of that, I think he figured out that he’d
          better not ad lib. Ever.

      • indie8million

        Theda Bara – Patty Moher. Very interesting. I think I was at that event.

        More recently – somewhere around 2011, I was at a local Auditor’s day event. This was in Los Angeles and there were maybe 500 to 600 people there – ONLY. This is odd, compared to the 2,000 or more that the Shrine usually seats.

        So DM isn’t there. He isn’t on the screen. This is a totally live event, honoring the local auditors with the local SO high ups presenting.

        Most of the evening, the auditors have been thanking their supervisors, other students who helped them, the org at which they did their training and, most importantly, LRH. The crowd was standing and clapping every time LRH was thanked. Appropriate. Usual.

        Then, something astounding happened.

        One of the honorees – I don’t know if they were a staff member or if they had been told, off stage, that people weren’t acking DM enough – decided to say thanks to everybody, including LRH and then added, “and MOST OF ALL, COB for putting the correct tech there and keeping it here for us.”

        I kid you not. ONE PERSON started clapping – 4 or 5 hand claps and then faded away. THAT WHOLE ROOM did not and would not clap for that mention of DM!!

        Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! I sat there, already out but under the radar, trying not to grin like a Cheshire cat, much less laugh out loud!! NOT ONE OTHER person would clap.

        I thought to myself, “This ship is goin’ down.” Hilarious! Sooo telling of the true feelings in the room. I wondered to myself, “How many people in this room, in LA, are actually out?”

        Had to share it with you guys.

    • Captain Howdy

      I knew you were an ex, Patty, but I didn’t know you were the real life George Smiley !

    • SP ‘Onage

      Nice!

    • i-Betty

      Patty, I’m engrossed! Your semi-reluctant reporting is so dry and witty, and I love it! 😀

    • Patty, Can you re-post the link to the video? Mine doesn’t show it. 🙁 I’d love to see it. Thanks!

      • sugarplumfairy

        hi, Tory.. Patty’ link is the the google page for the search “Cerridwen event report Scientology”.. So, if you just enter that in a google search, looks like it gives you a nice long list of her reports.. Here’s a link to the first one..

        http://www.xenu-directory.net/accounts/cerridwen20051114.html

    • I always love to have the full events.

      I can read through them, and pick out the things, were I the IG Cramming Officer, I know LRH would cram DM on.

      DM’s delivery would be completely obliterated by even the great idiot Hubbard, were Hubbard to hear Miscavige give these totally muddled speeches.

      Miscavige’s speeches have gone uncorrected for over two decades.

      Hubbard wrote that the Int Base was to have an IG Cram Officer, who would correct the top people.

      Jesse Prince was the last person who even attempted that position and did anything. Then Paul Crabtree I think replaced Jesse, and Jesse rose to DIG under Vicki.

      There’s been no sane “correction” of Miscavige, since 1982.

      He’s unchecked, and that means the outside world laws about unchecked power have been accelerating with Miscavige at the helm of this unchecked power trip, and maybe only family, like Ron Miscavie Snr, and Loretta Miscavige, and maybe Ron Jnr being people who have watched as David Miscavige has turned into this tyrant asshole muddle mouthed leader where the followers will clap at anything he says.

      I wish Ron Miscavige Snr would speak about his son.

      I wish Ronnie Jnr would have access to the full event speech, and comment about his brother.

      Myself, even though Hubbard is the ultra loon new religion founder, Hubbard’s talks are not as bad as this crap Miscavige is forcing the followers to listen to.

    • Exterrier

      Thank you Patty. It is hard to listen to this hyperbolic zero of a leader. The Pied Piper of the Penniless. Even reminds of the Children’s Crusades, where the ignorant and gullible were led to their ruin. A tragic waste of energy and lives. Tony and the Bloggers are right to work at bringing this down, especially for those poor kids born into this awful ruse. It will be sad for many when their illusions are destroyed, but this jerk is using those illusions to destroy them and live a life of luxury. Might as well speed up the process so some of them will have more of their lives left to live after it is over, and the wrecking balls hit those empty Ideal Orgs.

  • AnonymousSP

    Miscavige existed for years with no SMERSHiness. WWP for five years and look what has been done! (I love your tipsters)

  • sugarplumfairy

    I always assumed my English was pretty good.. But this “…the fact is that we had to get beyond the transitional main break with sufficient number of Ideal Orgs until we actually make that golden age a reality…” is completely beyond me..

    Why, when they hear gibberish, do some people nod their heads and say yay and others hold onto their purses and make a hasty departure? Oh yeah, now I remember.. They’re either passport-less (and for all intents and purposes imprisoned,) brainwashed, too exhausted to care, desperately trying to preserve family, or opportunistically trying to further the scam.. Co$ makes for a unique audience mix..

    Like Tory says, Tick Tock..

    • stillgrace

      I also wondered “what could be going on in a person’s mind?”, if they really listened to those empty words and subsequently stood up and cheered!! I just can’t believe it. //face palm … sigh … what’s going on?//

      Tony, did your tipster indicate the size of the crowd at Ruth Eckard Hall?

  • Mary_McConnell

    OMGosh! That video….More than moving. Bone chilling! Bull eye.Karen De la Carriere, Angry Gay Pope ( AGP ) and JSwift! It’s amazing what people united can do together!

    Can’t wait for part II…. I will show these to every person who contacts me about Narconon and those who have already contacted me about Narconon. The victims of the scam, of the lies. People have died trying to get help from Scientology programs for their addiction. Scientology and Narconon cannot wipe their hands of this proof. Alexander deserved better. Karen deserved better. So did the others who have died or been hurt by this junk science. No more deaths… help us shut these programs down.

    • 10oriocookies

      Im with ya.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Amen, sister. I was thinking about all those who did not make it to see justice with their own eyes and ears. Between Jason Barclay’s write up of the hellacious activity behind the scenes in PAC (L.A.) and the train of reports coming from Narconon staff, it is alarming evidence that Fanaticism is no longer a too harsh description of scientologists’ current activities. No crime, fraud, or abuse is off the table anymore. Miscavige started his reign by cashing in the mission whales by hunting down and frying that golden goose.

      He’s cashing in chips like a Las Vegas whore who has looked in the mirror lately. He cashed out his cash cows at the org level after the mission fold, and seems to have topped off the tables at Flag. The Freewinds is scraping bottom. He’s cashed in some of his top dealers, the FSM’s, field salesmen and many from the fundraiser crap shooters. He is now rolling loaded dice with his front group ATM’s, Applied Scholastics and Narconon. This kind of gambling is symptomatic of an addict. I have wondered if the building funds (which seems to have lots of bonus playing money left over) is for covering some bad bets he has made.

      I’m placing bets the growing Narconon lawsuits will be his last cash in for his escape out. I just want Karen, and others, and myself to see the hell holes buried once and for all.

      • John P.

        He’s cashing in chips like a Las Vegas whore who has looked in the mirror lately.

        My vote for metaphor of the week.

        • Missionary Kid

          At least in the top 5, and there’s some heavy competition. A lot of it from THDNE themself.

  • Shannon

    I haven’t been to WWP in years, but it’s how I got the protest routes so I could sit in coffee shops and watch the protests unfold in 2008 (I am in a religious field of study so I always stayed away from participating in anon for fear of being outed and labeled a bigot, would kinda dampen the career, but I digress…)… still had to go with Miscavige though, he will do more damage in whole to that movement then I think anyone could…

    But guys, awesome story time!

    So today I was walking home from my college (grad student, started a few weeks back), I had been seeing this Scientology sign near the train station and looked around for a center but couldn’t find it… thought it might have been just an odd add space they bought up. Today I was walking home and saw a personality test sign with an arrow, looked down a corridor and BOOM! there it was! So I trot over and start looking at a free materials rack in front of the doors… I look up and these two people are half standing, peering over the front desk at me smiling. I quickly went “oh just looking for some reading for the train!” grabbed two things and left. What did I acquire? “The Truth About Drugs” booklet that was talked about on here recently (I just looked but couldn’t find it on a post, boy’s sad face in sepia tones, pills everywhere) I remember Tony commenting on how all the claims were so far-fetched kids would immediately call bullshit, which trust me, is true. The testimonials from drug users are PRICELESS… I also got a three and a half hour “Scientology: an overview” DVD (Including a biographical presentation on the life of L. RON HUBBARD!!! oh the theta!!!) which includes whole sections on Narconon and Applied Scholastics, said outright with no veiling, like the fucker has a heading that says Narconon. So this is the question my dear commenters: I have allllways wanted to do a personality test since (growing up in New York) I saw the tables out in the subways. I figured I could take it and bounce if it got too weird. But now, it’s obviously an org, and I really don’t want to deal with a hard sell. They are more desperate then ever and might chain me to a desk. What do I do? This could be such a pain in the ass but also produce so much fun wackyness! I can’t decide! All I do know is that I had a horrific day at school today and I am about to put this baby on, drink a glass of wine and laugh! Opinions?

    • Shannon

      Just occurred to me: does it freak me out that I want to scan this disc for tracking cookies before I let it run?

      • Sherbet

        I have that same disk, Shannon. It came to our local library, unasked for, and I got it. It scares me, too, which is why it’s still all shrink-wrapped and shoved into my desk drawer.

        • Shannon

          AVG just scanned it as clean. I have Avast running now. We shall see.

          • Shannon

            Just by taking it you were a part of planetary dissemination! Congratulations!

            • EnthralledObserver

              You just sent the Scieno stats for Thursday soaring straight up and vertical!

            • Shannon

              I’m so excited, my head could blow 50 feet into the air!

            • EnthralledObserver

              More stats… going exterior, what a WIN!

            • Shannon

              So I know I can make an ashtray move, but I’m out of cig’s, any chance I’m cool enough yet to MEST one over here? Someone help me out.

            • EnthralledObserver

              You KNOW… you just KNOW you can.

            • Shannon

              I’m in a foreign country but I am MESTing a Camel Crush…. ommmmmmmmmm

            • Shannon

              5 seconds into this DVD there is Buddhist children and snowboarding and America!! yesssssssss

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              I always flash to that scene in “Sleepless in Seattle”

              http://youtu.be/lFG-EUPe_Cs

            • Shannon

              For serious, I just MEST’ed (MESTerated? MESTiculated?) a half of a smoke in my outside ashtray. You guys can’t talk to me anymore I’m too far in…

            • Shannon

              Seriously, to personality test or not to personality test? You are always here Hole (can I call you Hole?), I need your opinion!

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Do Not go alone. Period. Much depends on where (but don’t post it here). If it’s in a major sci city, personally everything I’m hearing lately makes me think it is just too fanatical to go near them without a tv crew, a team of lawyers and a guard dog.

            • MESTUurbated.

            • FistOfXenu

              MESTurbated?

            • FistOfXenu

              and as a $cientologist you KNOW you’re THE ONLY ONE who can

            • Sherbet

              lrh said smoking prevents cancer. You ARE a scientologist! Watch that DVD pronto!

            • Postulate it!

            • FistOfXenu

              Reality is agreement. I agree with you that there’s a pack of your brand of cigarettes right where you always keep them.

            • Sherbet

              Oh, boy! Does that mean I can become an SP next?

            • Shannon

              Half of me thinks that I have over the years said enough about myself that I would walk into a center and be told I’m an SP. Not because I am some major revolutionary by anymeans, just because I think they keep tabs on these sites and are creepy as hell.

            • Observer

              Well, someone thinks you’re an SP. lol!

            • Shannon

              Both run as clean! Off I go, fuck em…

            • Captain Howdy

              The mysterious Dark Wing Down Voter is working overtime today !

        • Shannon

          Watch this. Seriously, I’m only on the first section an this is epic beyond epic….

          And we have a downvote! Question what you are told! You are allowed to think for yourself! The wog’s will always have a place for you!

          • Sherbet

            I think someone is just messin’ with us and our paranoia.

    • stillgrace

      I’m coming up on my five year anniversary since I took my personality test. I was feeling very blue at the time. However, the extreme hard sell (and quest for my credit card) that occurred after they told me they could “absolutely help me” totally freaked me out.

      I got so pissed off when they wouldn’t lighten up, I literally fled the scene, and they followed me out to the parking lot!! Ironically, the righteous, indignant rage I felt somehow flushed away the blues I had been feeling, and I actually felt better after!! Now I realize that it was a Thursday morning, which explains their fervor.

    • F_Randy_Hullabaloo

      If you do take the test understand that it is really a tool to sell you things and under no circumstances give your real name, address or phone number. If you do you’ll be on the mailing list for a billion years.

      • Shannon

        Don’t worry I know, I’ve been following the anti movement on the internet for about 5 years, precisely why I want to so bad but probably wont…

  • BosonStark

    The Orgs are here and they’re taking over!

    “….the existing Ideal Orgs in
    exponentially increasing the rate of expansion for the creation of still
    more new Ideal Orgs…”

    Multiplying like bunnies are they? How does a building create a new one? What about the Super Power building — why only one of those super suckers? You’d think it’d be multiplying too if the “rundown” were all that important, or at least it would be open by now.

    I don’t get the jokes they’re laughing at. I guess they’re just giddy. They’re clearing the whole planet!

  • 10oriocookies

    I just took my first Super Power of the day. David is full of Super Power. Scientology is Super Power.

    • Sherbet

      Hahaha! You’re bad, 10orio.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        That’s why we’re keeping him.

        • Sherbet

          There’s bad bad (DM’s speech) and good bad (10orio and other jokesters).

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            also, orio cookies

        • 10oriocookies

          Cant wait for a few million people to see the piece coming up on Rock Center. Hopefully the Super Power will hit the fan after that.

          • aquaclara

            On another-but-always-related topic, some incredible stuff y’all have going on over at the Tipping Point today. EPIC all the way.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            any date/time yet? and yes, what AquaClara said.

            • 10oriocookies

              Thanks. The 5th or the 12th I hear. I’ll post something as soon as I find out.

    • FistOfXenu

      it all makes sense now. Super Power Building = outhouse. Explains why Davey is talking so much “Super Power”. Super Power Rundown, well that makes sense too.

      Thanks for word-clearing that for me.

    • Captain Howdy

      Tom Cruise must need Super Power badly seeing as how in the legendary video he said “I’m carrying my load”.

    • Artoo45

      Well, I’m super . . . thanks for asking.

  • sugarplumfairy

    You gotta give credit to tiny fists’ speech writers.. It can’t be easy to write something that promises absolutely everything but says absolutely nothing..

    • Johan

      When the COS closes shop they will have a great career as political speech writers

  • Peter Robinson

    If anyone needs the word ‘gobbledegook’ defined and explained to them then you could do no better than citing the Miscavige drivel as a perfect example.

    It makes my brain hurt just reading it, let alone listening. Sheer tortuous twaddle. It beggars belief that anyone could listen to it, let alone grasp anything meaningful. Still, it does follow in the grand tradition of LRH obfuscation.

    I award it a First Class Honours Phd in Bovine Scatology.

    • Missionary Kid

      I award you two aspirin for the headache you got just reading any of it.

  • Duncan Arthur

    Well f___ Little Davie. Pretoria is the capital of South Africa, the biggest economic powerhouse on the African continent

  • Sherbet

    What? WHAT??

  • EnthralledObserver

    “And yet that these now happened in those places, which means it can be done anywhere.”
    It’s sentences like this (among many others) that made me vote for the dumb arse charlatan…
    WWP… keep doing your stuff!

  • Sherbet

    BTW, Tony, your tipster has Big Ones. Bravo (or brava) to that person!

  • 1subgenius

    Nice pic of the Detroit Idle Org on Mike’s blog.

    Just sayin’.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Tipping hat to the persons who provided and transcribed the event. I do believe Sherman is losing it. Even for for him, I felt like I was detangling a ball of Christmas lights, in the dark, with my hands tied.

    Mike may not hear anything, but I do and I was startled but smiling: Davey Does Desperate.

    Only button he is pushing is the last ditch Panic button: Eternity. This is the one that for some, and by that I mean most of those still squirming under his feet, in scientology eternity = immortality. While “some” drag their gene pool to these events (to make sure the adults don’t doze off), you see a sea of white hairs and shiny bald things in the back shot picture of the faithful’s gathering. They are desperate too. Their clock is ticking louder and louder. I can only hope that their offspring are playing their part as clubbed seals until their wacky parent kicks the bucket. Disconnection includes getting written out of family wills and don’t think the sci salesmen don’t know every detail.

    I hear loud and clear (heh) Miscavige Knows that his flock are thinking of fleeing, that he knows and They know that scientology is shrinking like a Tom Cruise wife audition list. The orchestra is tuning up for the finale’ and the ushers are sweeping the aisles. The lights are flickering because the electric bills haven’t been paid in ages. Even the Super Power carrot is getting moldy (and yes, enthusiasm at events is part of the survival drill). This is the other reason he is pushing a Back to the Future panorama. Davey hears the ticking now too. If he was wearing comfortable slip off shoes, I’d check his flight itinerary.

    • Sherbet

      That’s a wonderful assessment, TH! Clear and to the point.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        I took one for the team.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Ah….another great one.
      Have I told you lately that you are awesome?
      Well, you are.
      Now, more coffee!

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      THDNE, you are being covertly suave.

      In fact, the more COB looks around he sees everyone here engaging in the high crime of being covertly suave.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        I bow to your knowingness. Now, about that flight plan…

      • Missionary Kid

        May I be covertly suave, too? How much will it cost me?

  • Ze Moo

    “and believe me, I could promise a lot”. Like the dwarfenfürher never promised anything he didn’t deliver before. He did give away the premise of the ideal mOrgs though. The auditing and training that used to be done at lower ‘churches’ and missions will now be done at the mOrgs. No income for anyone else. That is one of the last nails in the coffin. No matter how much kool-aid you have imbibed, if you can’t eat, you are going to leave.

  • sugarplumfairy

    Oh, Karen.. To learn by way of a face book message that your son died.. Aaaaagggghhh..

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Strange that a “religion” that focuses on the soul/thetan can be so totally without one.

      • FistOfXenu

        Asked and answered when you had to put quotes around religion, BTN.
        Glad you’re thawing out.

      • Johan

        Lots of thetan and no soul…..

      • Missionary Kid

        And talks about communication that doesn’t.

  • CoolHand

    My heart continues to break for Karen. Their actions are pure evil. Lies, criminal activities and inhumane conditions imposed on others to cover up their lies, criminal activities and inhumane conditions.

    On Miscavige’s event, ugggh. So thankful I don’t ever have to worry about getting an invite to hear that shit again.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      That is a serious upside to SPdom!

      • CoolHand

        Definitely. The last event I attended was the birthday event in Clearwater in 2010, two seats away from Flag Captain Harvey Jacques (what a miserable-looking codger he was during it) listening to little Davey lie his ass off. It wasn’t pleasant at all, but humorous to look back on!

        • Missionary Kid

          The best part of your post, “…humorous to look back on!”

  • Some one needs to get a van with darkened windows and put five burly men in the back with a blanket.

    They need to wait outside the HGB in the alley on Ivar street. Then, when Danny Sherman comes out to get a falafel, they need to jump him, cover him with the blanket, and pull him inside the van.

    They should speed to an abandoned warehouse and tie him to a chair. This is when they take out a copy of Strunk & White and force Danny to read it out loud, clearing every word he stumbles on with a dictionary.

    After 3 weeks of this, they can speed past the HGB and dump Danny out on Hollywood Boulevard again.

    He will then be a ticking time bomb of cult destruction. Once Danny starts writing speeches according to this book, people will realize that they are being scammed, and the cult will implode.

    This will finally prove that the Cult of Strunk & White is more powerful than the cult of L Ron Hubbard.

    Alanzo

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I love your dreams. And, you had me at burly men.

    • sketto

      Well said. Let’s put Strunk and White in the Smersh Madness bracket!

    • Missionary Kid

      I disagree. I think it’s better if he continues. The boredom that has to follow for people who have to sit through the bloviating will increase the urge to leave.

  • sharon brown

    Oooooh, Tony you’re killing me with today’s match up ! Lol, Tiny Fists Is definitely a Major source of enturbulation for $cion as more people disappear, flee and tell of the True horrors of being in the group. But in the end WWP has enlightened us ” wogs” and spread the word via the internet around the World, ESW ! ( Enturbulating $cientology from Working !) It is to Their credit that more “wogs” now know $cion’s are a Destructive harmful cult , Stopping them from even entering their doors ,and giving renewed intrest in reporting on $cientology by major media outlets ! Davey’s right though, 2013 is shaping up to be even More enturbulating than 2012 and it’s only March ! Tick tock…

  • The Golden Age of Tech version whatever can be summed up as follows: What do you do when you’ve sold your public the Brooklyn Bridge and there aren’t enough new people to buy it?

    Answer: Sell the same people a recorated version of the Brooklyn Bridge!

  • Mary_McConnell

    That audio tape, OMG! More baloney on top of old baloney.. promises made, yet never fulfilled. Just to keep the troops hypnotized, more repetition of meaningless promises. The applause? Wouldn’t you be in glee if you finally got some word on what happened to all your donations given over the past 15 years? Thank God for tipsters!

    • “…and believe me, I could promise a lot…” was one of my favorite lines, although I have to agree with Sherbet that “nothing we have seen… is but a shadow” was also a great head-scratcher.

      • Sherbet

        I truly think Sherman got it backwards, but it sounded grandiose, so that’s OK in dm’s book.

  • Sherbet

    “When we rang in the new year, closing out the most epic year in history, I said that nothing you had thus far seen was but a shadow of what we were going to unveil in 2013.” (1) Is this grammatically incorrect? Doesn’t he mean EVERYTHING you had thus far seen…? (2) If dm thinks one of the worst years in cos history is “the most epic year,” then he really is drinking more than Kool-Aid. cos was hit with countless body blows in 2012. And somehow that’s “epic” and positive? Every day is Opposites Day at DM’s house.

    • Shannon

      I noticed that too! How in the hell was 2012 epic but not for all the fuckery that befell them?

      • EnthralledObserver

        The most amazing bubble of solitude… keeping Scieno WIN smells inside for all to smell over and over again.

        • Shannon

          All I can think of is when you get a car freshener but you pull off too much of the wrapper and then all you have is a pounding headache… TOO MUCH JASMINE

          • EnthralledObserver

            I was thinking more along the lines of SHIT… but whatever you’re imagining is fine too. 😉

            • Shannon

              I was originally thinking new car because it smells like leather and ass… I figured I’d be nice.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        LOL, I thought that IS what he meant!

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          thawed out? Good to know.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Not entirely! 39 degrees in that stadium. But 10 row right behind home plate made it a bit better.
            It was a cold and Jeterless night.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              It was warmer inside t the Lightning’s hockey rink down the road, girl!

    • Trustmeonthis

      Oh, 2012 was plenty epic!
      😀

    • I said that nothing you had thus far seen was but a shadow of what we were going to unveil in 2013.” (1) Is this grammatically incorrect?

      Removing extra clauses and words, to try to decipher it: Nothing was but a shadow of what we were going to unveil in 2013.

      Was + were = conditional tense. This also matches with “2013”. We were going to unveil X in 2013 (but now we’re not). “Nothing was but a shadow” = what we were going to unveil wasn’t all that great. It did not make anything else seem but a shadow.

      So, they were going to unveil something meh in 2013, but now they’re not. Hey, at least if my translation is correct, DM told the truth!

      • Sherbet

        If he did, it was purely by accident.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Karen Jentzsch De La Carriere and Angry Gay Pope and Jeff Swift, coworkers.

    If this isn’t a Sign that scientology is dead in the water, I don’t know what you’re looking for.

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/34od1s0.jpg[/IMG]

    • FistOfXenu

      Why are they wearing Hershey’s kisses on their heads?

    • SP ‘Onage

      LOL!

    • Captain Howdy

      Karen and AGP collaborating is like the Lost Space episode where Prof. Robinson meets his anti-matter self. It could destroy the universe !

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        exactly.

  • Roger Larsson

    The
    story of DM goes like this. The first, in Portland,
    Oregon, that’s the centre of our
    original religious freedom crusade. The last in Cambridge,
    a Waterloo
    where Emperor
    Napoleon did surrender.

    • Kitz

      Not at all happy about Portland being ‘the first’. *growlsnarl* Have to see what can be done about that.

  • Thanks to the person who leaked the Miscavige video. I find it quite telling and would love to hear all of the event. I wonder how many times, total, he uses the words, “not know”.

    Just in these two short audio clips, he says it twice:

    “You’re getting sleepy, your eyes are heavy, “Not Know” “You want to think critically, you want to ask questions'” “Not Know”

    He then has nothing to report on Super Power, its delivery or the opening of the building itself so since he’s already told you that everything going on behind the scenes is too much for your tiny mind to handle and since he has already told you to chalk it up to “Not Know”, why then you’re free to fantasize and connect the dots yourself. Use your imagination.

    The truth is that not much of anything is or has been happening but you don’t need to know that so just know what YOU want to know. Use your imagination. Fill in the details.

    Then he basically comes up and tells the crowd that the C of S is now above the make-break point — a very strange comment and a very good sign.

    My personal take is that he is subtly advertising that his days are numbered

    • SP ‘Onage

      Eff the down arrow. Luv your post.

  • Espiando

    If Davey thought the Alliance was dead, that video should have him thinking again. Indie, Old Guard, and Anon working together to blow the whistle…I think Ken Moxon’s face is turning shades of purple not found in nature.

    As for the vote, gotta support the home team. They’re gonna lose, but this is the only time they’re going to lose to the Dwarfenfuehrer.

  • Shannon

    Ok so if anyone caught downthread that I got a copy of this Scientology handout DVD today, I just have to tell you all that this is the first few lines of LRH’s biography section (the first section on the DVD)…

    “He was born Lafayette Ronald Hubbard, on March 13th 1911, in Tilden Nebraska. He spent his formative years in a rough and tumble Helena Montana, where he rode barely broken Range Broncs at the age of 3 and a half. As his mother was that rarity of her time, a thoroughly educated woman, he was also reading well beyond his years, philosophy, science and the pillars of Western literature, all in an effort to satisfy a rare and abiding curiosity…”

    This is gonna be awwwwesome…..

    • Sherbet

      They start right off with the shopworn lies about lrh’s youth…

      • Shannon

        That was literally the first narrated words after the text “you should start by understanding our founder”… did I mention his childhood pictures he looks like a kid who would kill cats for fun? I’m not trying to be funny, I’m serious…

      • Shannon

        We’re on tone scale! I just got done with the dynamics! Did you know 2d is creativity and family? I doubt that’s what SO understand it to be…

    • FistOfXenu

      What? He’s gone from breaking broncos to riding “barely broken” broncos? It’s worth going through the rest of that carefully to see what other lies they’ve tried to fix so they sound less totally ridiculous. What next? “He washed his feet so seldom that people said he must be blood brother to the Blackfoot tribe?” How about “he got beat up by the neighborhood bullies so often he used to tell lies about getting even with them?” Either this is part of DM’s “fixing” the LRH scriptures or somebody’s already on lower conditions eating slop.

      • Shannon

        I’ll happily watch through that section again, the rest of it was mostly drivel but that part was full of fun!

  • FistOfXenu

    W.T.F.! Now we know what they spend all the money on. Somebody wrote a program that pull words out of a dictionary and randomizes them into strings that look like sentences but aren’t. My sister used to have a minah bird that made more sense.

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      I was thinking maybe they bought a new computer that runs on the exact opposite programming as artificial intelligence. Or possibly Sherman is the highest practitioner of Study Tech the world has ever seen. We Wogs are too low on the tone scale to comprehend. This is what happens folks when you Apply Scholastics.

      • FistOfXenu

        You mean like artificial stupidity? DM has enough natural stupidity so they don’t need a computer to do it for them.

  • California

    Charter schools operate UNDER a school district. They are not private schools, which operate on their own.

    Given that Duffy, etc., and his Career Success Schools are targeting high-risk, low-income students there will be even more over-sight than usual since they are eligible for extra funds.

    Applied Scholastics is no more appropriate for students than Narconon Drug Education is……

  • Mrs. V.

    Another thing I can put in the category of “not know”: the language Miscavige speaks. I was literally blown 50 feet out of my head trying to understand what he was saying.

    • I think I need to word-clear that “not know” or I’ll get a big MU

      • Trustmeonthis

        The whole thing is a big MU. Well, that’s true for me, anyway.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Tom Cruise explains it all…. thank Emma over at ESMB for posting this too funny video. Not sure you created it. But for sure, in no way that is, thus far whatsover, was it Dan Sherman.

    http://youtu.be/qVB7rYntS9k

    • This is a thing of beauty

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        freakin’ brilliant

    • stillgrace

      Thank you, Emma and THDNE. That was great! Apparently, TheEvilofScientology put this together, according to a YouTube commenter. TheEvilofScientology has a channel over at YouTube well worth browsing.

      • Captain Howdy

        TEOS is a legendary youtuber and an acquaintance of mine. He is also a really nice person (he put up with marco’s stupidity for years). Unfortunately the “backroom” homepage community was more or less destroyed by google/youtube in their pursuit of $.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Ah yes, Evil of Sci. I’ve seen his/her work before. Always Awesome, both in the wry humor that makes you just burst out with a horse laugh, and the details of both the sound and the character itself. Soooo reminds me of Precious. Truly talented in a whole bunch of categories. Don’t understand the lingo or scenario you mentioned, except overall, wall street has been foaming at the mouth and harder and harder to restrain from ensnaring and capitalizing on enterprising avenues.

          • Captain Howdy

            Last March (or May) YouTube forced a new look on everybody’s homepage that made it impossible to personalize and nearly impossible to carry on a running conversation on your home page. Many folks. like TEOS, spent most their time on YT chatting with people on their homepages as opposed to hanging out in the “front room” i.e the vids. They did this to avoid the crazy trolls on the vids and perhaps have a more serious discussion. Youtube now is all about people having their own channel and uploading vids and becoming partners with YT to make $ through advertising. One guy calling himself “fpsrussia” supposedly makes $60,000 a month off of his channel.

        • stillgrace

          When you run into your acquaintance again, please tell him I think he’s a freaking genius!

          I know I’ve posted this before, but there might be some newbies that have never seen this. I think it’s one of TEOS’s finest moments.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z5DI0ZQuNg

        • Sherbet

          I always thought TEOS was the AGP. No?

  • BuryTheNuts2

    As someone who utilizes malapropisms inadvertently and with great regularity…I would just like to say…
    David Miscavige makes me feel so intelligent.

    Thanks Dave.

    • Missionary Kid

      Sorry to burst your bubble, but he’d make any mollusk feel intelligent.
      You are FAR more intelligent, and you show it by being out.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        HAHA…when my Mommy was making me word clear the damn dictionary as a child….I ran into this word.

        ri·dic·u·lous
        /riˈdikyələs/

        Adjective
        Deserving or inviting derision or mockery; absurd.

        Synonyms
        ludicrous – laughable – absurd – funny – comical

        So basically, thanks to LRH…I was never in!

        • Missionary Kid

          Your dictynonionary was incomplete. It should have said, “See also, L. Ron Hubbard. A contemporary one should also add “David Miss Cabbage.”

          • FistOfXenu

            True MK, and it should’ve had instructions how to give them mass by clay modeling them.

    • The Dakini

      He makes the Gov’r of my home state look like a Rhode Scholar. And that is saying something.

      • Oh No! You live in Arizona? Couldn’t you move to Texas or Wisconsin or Florida or Maine or………never mind. Americans are good at landing rovers on Mars but not so good at choosing State Governors.

        Andrew

  • Sherbet

    It’s a shame cob didn’t have his beloved Shelly at his side when announcing the epicness of the wondrous things to come in 2013. But we all know she’s so busy working for cos, she couldn’t spare 3 hours of her time.

    • Observer

      I can’t help but wonder if, after all these years of (presumable) confinement, she’s in a fit state to be seen in public.

      • stillgrace

        I often wonder if she’s alive. Davey has a vicious temper. What if he popped her one, a little too hard, and in the wrong place? I can’t believe a surviving member of her birth family hasn’t demanded a welfare check. Maybe they have. Her mother died under extremely strange circumstances! The mother was making waves, who knows what happened there?

        • Sidney18511

          I wonder about her surviving family members myself and why they would be so quiet.
          Her mother committed suicide by shooting herself 5 TIMES IN THE CHEST WITH A SHOTGUN.
          There is something seriously wrong with that picture.

          • stillgrace

            I know! Crazy.

          • FistOfXenu

            I hope she didn’t stop to reload.

            Seriously this is why I’m worried about her.

          • Captain Howdy

            Actually it was 3 to the chest and 2 to the head with a .22, which i still find fairly unbelievable, irregardless of what the detective may have said.

            • 1subgenius

              A cop friend of mine arrived at a scene with a body face down, bullet-riddled, hogtied, bound and gagged, and said to the assembled squad, “Clear case of suicide.” He was a funny guy.
              I’ll refrain from too much detail on another cop friend who it took two shots to the head to kill himself. This was with his police-issued weapon.
              5 shots is pushing it. Especially after 2 or 3, you gotta think, “Ouch.”

            • Captain Howdy

              First shot, even with a .22 is going to make you drop the weapon.

            • SP ‘Onage

              Yeah, the burn is a bitch.

            • Captain Howdy

              People who don’t know guns think that the.22 LR is like a BB gun, but in fact it’s the caliber that has killed more people than any other in U.S history.

            • SP ‘Onage

              Yes is has, plus the bullet can travel up to a mile.

            • stillgrace

              And it wasn’t a pistol, it was a rifle. Maybe she had really long arms.

            • Captain Howdy

              Exactly.

            • Johan

              How was it ruled a suicide? Sorry if its a dumb question

            • Captain Howdy
            • Johan

              Thnx !

          • grundoon

            You can read our host Tony Ortega’s reportage on the strange demise of David Miscavige’s mother-in-law at http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2012/01/the_strange_dea.php

        • villagedianne

          DM has no known history of hitting women. However if I remember correctly from what i have read, he has ordered women to hit or slap other women.

      • Sherbet

        It amazes me — because I can’t grasp the power dm holds over the organization — that everyone pretends it’s perfectly normal and acceptable that the wife of a big, important ecclesiastical church leader NEVER accompanies him anywhere and is NEVER seen in public. I’m sure there are people within the cos who wonder, but they probably don’t dare whisper the question. I would like someday to hear that dm appeared before a church crowd that burst into a loud chant of “Where’s Shelly? Where’s Shelly?” Nah, it will never happen. But wouldn’t that be delicious!

        • FistOfXenu

          It’s like under Stalin or in North Korea. Ask too many questions where somebody is and if the wrong person hears you, you just might find out where they are the hard way. People who know Shelly exists or existed are wondering but they know better than to ask.

        • Captain Howdy

          People have said that marriage and divorce are a mere formality in CofS, and that people switch partners like they’re at Plato’s Retreat, so it stands to figure they’re not shocked or bewildered

          • Sherbet

            Some have got to be curious, but not so curious that they question it.

      • Ze Moo

        What ever shape Shelly Miscavige is in, she won’t be allowed to talk to anyone. You can bet a very tight non-disclosure agreement will be in place and she’ll have handlers to keep folks like us away. If Davey can spend millions to keep PI’s on other threats for years at a time, there will be PI’s watching Shelly.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      The day Shelly is freed and finally (if she will) speaks out is the day I am looking forward to.
      Oh man, can you just imagine it! I hope instead of being a completely broken shell that she is seething!

      edit: seething….provided she is even breathing….

      • Sherbet

        “My father, stepmother, brother, and niece got away, but you, my dear wife, will NEVER get away.”

      • John P.

        I would invite everyone to consider the following alternate hypothesis for Shelly’s fate. Given that she was a key assistant of DM’s for many years, she knows an awful lot that about what went on that would be highly incriminating to Miscavige, in either the legal/criminal sense or the sense of further turning cult members against him. The last place Miscavige would want Shelly to be is anywhere near cult members, where she could leak details of what Miscavige has done and turn her captors against DM. Can you imagine the effect that she would have on the others in The Hole if she were imprisoned there?

        I think it possible that Shelly is living a quiet “under the radar” existence in the “civilian” world in a cult-provided house, much as Hubbard’s wife Mary Sue lived after she got out of jail, from the time Hubbard went underground circa 1981 until his death, on until her own death in 2002. She lived quietly in a house off Los Feliz Blvd. that would sell for $2 or $3 million today. From what I recall reading, she had a couple of Scientologists living in as helpers but they were not directly in the chain of command (i.e., not Sea Org in uniform). I’m sure they spied on her, reporting directly to Miscavige about her activities, but she apparently was left relatively alone and there was relatively little control over her movements (i.e., she could go out whenever she wanted).

        A similar arrangement for Shelly would give her motivation to avoid spilling the beans, especially if it came with enough money to do things she wanted to do. In other words, I think it reasonably likely that Shelly got paid off big time, rather than enslaved further. Less possibility of something blowing up that way.

        • TonyOrtega

          I’ve written previously that the best evidence suggests that Shelly is at the CST headquarters near Lake Arrowhead in the mountains above LA, a compound known as “Twin Peaks” or “Rimforest.” Since I wrote that last summer, I have received other information that only makes me more confident that that’s the case.

          • John P.

            The key question, if she is at Twin Peaks: is she a prisoner in her own private RPF and thus being punished or is she living a life of relatively undisturbed luxury, perhaps with some sort of moderately interesting cult related job to keep her amused? In other words, can she leave the grounds at will? My suspicion, regardless of where she lives, is that her status is more free than the frequent comments about her imprisonment in the RPF or The Hole would suggest. She knows way too much for DM to piss her off by abusing her.

          • 0tessa

            That would mean she is in fact a prisoner?

        • grundoon

          I think Shelly is away on a long-term mission to prepare DM’s escape routes to multiple luxurious extradition-safe Bulgravian retirement villas.

    • FistOfXenu

      Me, I HOPE she’s busy working. If she is it means she’s still alive even if she’s in RPF.

  • aquaclara

    WOOOHOOOO! Here we are, March of 2013, listening to a leaked recording taken right out from under COB’s nose, at one of Scientology’s biggest events of the year. Another huge win of unbelievabosity. And it’s only March.
    Just how much more fabulous can this year get? (Don’t worry, Davy. We’ll be sure to let you know.)

    • SP ‘Onage

      I hope the tipster is, “Ethics Trouble.” 🙂

  • 0tessa

    Please, voters, don’t give Miscavige the ‘honor’ to win this election!!

    • Trustmeonthis

      This is the toughest one yet.

      • dagobarbz

        I disagree. Without WWP, he would have been puttering right along for the past four years unmolested except by a tiny handful of critics.

        DM is only guilty of bringing down Scientology because anonymous and the OG shined a light on his nasty, slappy little habits.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          And to add, DM is just as guilty of KSW as he is of the damage he has done to it.
          WWP.

          • Captain Howdy

            Fecking A !

        • Trustmeonthis

          Absolutely, but without Miss Cabbage, there would be nothing to shine the light on!
          They are, IMHO, the yin and yang of the entire deal. Anonymous may not beat Miss Cabbage in the poll, but Anonymous WILL win eventually.

          • FistOfXenu

            “Absolutely, but without Miss Cabbage, there would be nothing to shine the light on!”

            Yes there would. LiarRon Humptydumpty and the decades and decades of horseshit he pumped out like a 1 man manure spreader. That’s decades and decades of “research” into horseshit that doesn’t work and decades and decades of ways that he invented to abuse and damage and asset strip and terrorize and intimidate people, all so that guys like DM would know what to do and how to do it. Take away DM and there’d be somebody else doing KSW all over people.

            And whoever it was WWP would still be there shining the light into $cesspoolintology.

  • “I know a lot is demanded from all of us, you, in terms of providing
    energy and wherewithal to lay down the eternal foundation of
    Scientology, we can be in terms of all else that comprises the LRH
    legacy to achieve the advancement of Scientologists up the Bridge, thus
    by extension in working together to in turn multiply dissemination in
    the (…) levels, commensurate with what is provided in planetary
    clearing, well, in light of all that, I should also tell you this. There
    is indeed a transitional make or break point, meaning a new plauteau
    which later makes possible something more.” Oh yeaahhh, “word salad” – this is an awesomely appropriate psychiatric term. “Pressure of speech” also comes to mind.

  • Sidney18511

    One word for all the folks laughing and applauding……….sad.

    • FistOfXenu

      They’re clapping in astonishment. Even politicians can’t spit out that much word count and make no sense and say nothing at all. He piles words up like layers of shit in an old fashioned outhouse but all you get is a bad smell.

  • FistOfXenu

    I just figured out why $cientarCONonists keep going back and sitting through that bullshit yr after yr. It’s like driving down the turnpike and seeing an accident. What do you do? You slow down and rubberneck right? When the Demented Midget’s talking it’s a car wreck event. Even though it’s painful and slow and you dont want to be stuck in the jam you just can’t take your eyes off and move on. I know it’s true because I listened to that shit more than once.

    Damn that guy’s a bloviating disaster full of non-communicationness.

    It’s gotta be deliberate. Like he just pukes random words at his captive audience until their brains burn out from trying to figure out what it means and then their eyes glaze over and bang – they’re all hypnotized and they’ll do anything. Forget 36 days of bad movies (could they really be worse than Battlefield Earth?) DM doesn’t even need to blow up volcanoes to implant the drongos. He just talks at them. After that they pay up when they’re regged just to escape doing it twice.

  • stanrogers

    I have had a couple of small strokes, and occasional bouts of aphasia (Wernicke’s area type) are an unfortunate part of my current condition (advanced Parkinsonism). I had to flick back and forth between the DM transcript and the rest of the page to reassure myself that the next couple of days weren’t going to be really, really bad ones for me. This isn’t merely $cino-speak gone mad, it is a random collection of words arranged in a grammatically plausible but utterly meaningless way. (You might want to search for “wernicke’s area damage language example”, without the quotes, for earlier, similar incidents.) People who hear stuff like this should be seeking immediate medical assistance, not applauding or writing cheques.

    • dagobarbz

      Hubbard was good at the bafflegab. One thing I noticed about Dianetics, paragraphs ALMOST make sense! It’s good enough to make you question your reading comprehension skills. But of course, THEY HAVE A COURSE TO HELP YOU WITH THAT!

      Hubbard was successful at spewing the bafflegab. DM just strings words together and drools them out in that plummy “I took a speech class” delivery he’s got, hoping nobody will notice he’s not making sense.

      • Lliira

        The mind attempts to make sense of that which does not make sense. That’s the secret behind a lot of visual games, and it’s the secret behind LRH’s bullshit and that of a lot of other con artists. Human beings seek patterns and try to explain the inexplicable. We’re terrible at realizing that there’s no there there.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Is COB’s speech, “a random collection of words arranged in a grammatically plausible but utterly meaningless way,” or is it Danny Sherman’s covertly suave expression of William Burroughs’ aleatory literary technique known as cut up art?

      We in RTC sometimes think that Danny Sherman is secretly 1.1 and is putting sabotage on COB’s line by a covert use of cut up technique. But then when we put Danny on the cans in a sec check his needle floats.

      COB is very happy with Danny’s speeches. However, we in RTC are keeping our eye on Danny to guarantee against some sort of “inside job” whereby COB falls victim to an unknowing self-parody at the hands of his one-man Praetorian Guard of wordsmithery.

  • SP ‘Onage

    Those (Nuremberg Rally) kool-aid drinkers can’t understand the distinction between make-believe and reality. Open the pod bay doors please, tipster.

  • sizzle8

    I would like to hear Dan Sherman’s dreck read out loud by Charo.

    • Captain Howdy

      The CIA in fact did just that at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib.

      .

      • BuryTheNuts2

        They had Charo read Dan Sherman?
        That IS torture!

        • SP ‘Onage

          Viva La Coochie, Coochie!

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        wait. wot?

    • Missionary Kid

      I wouldn’t wish that on Charo. I spent about an hour talking to her and her family about 20 years ago. She’s not like her stage persona (which I don’t really like) at all. She’s warm, thoughtful, and intelligent.

  • Bella Legosi

    Seriously, f**k the Demented Midgets ideal org bullsh*t in Portland! Hope to protest the hell out of it when it opens to the sound of crickets

    • aquaclara

      Crickets and Caek!!! Thanks for the pics, too.

      • Bella Legosi

        So very welcome….you uys deserve it….I cant be the only Portlander here….

        • Kitz

          Portland? no….. BFE, Oregon? yes

  • Bella Legosi

    Wow what a day Tony! I shall have toshow my appreciation to you and the wonderful comment community and crash the org opening.

  • L. Wrong Hubturd

    Can some PS ninja on here change this mug to have cans on it in place of the yarn? And maybe change it to read “8 hours a day”

  • I think I know what’s happened to DM’s speeches… this is obviously not Shermanspeak as Rinder surmises as anyone with English as their first language would be hard-pressed to come up with this gibberish… no, I recognised the strangled syntax as something that an overseas student from the Pan Pacific area might come up with…. I was often asked to proof read essays from some of my Japanese friends at university and their style was very similar to what tiny fists has on his teleprompter.

    if you translate a portion of his speech into Japanese and run back through again the first paragraph looks like this:

    “.. In other words, the eternal city and to realize the dream of the future reality of the create-tone 40 607 causes of action. We rang the new year in the most spectacular in the history of the end, when I was watching was nothing, but the 2013 was one of the shadow. To make sure that, in fact, the pit stop, the full throttle as a point in the commemoration of a temporary stop to take a trip to the pedal to the metal in the extreme universe to ignore the speed limit.”

    …. now that makes a lot more sense, surely?

    PS – I managed to track down his actual two speechwriters…. here’s a photo of them:

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Thanks for setting us straight. And to think of all the years I thought it was ….

      http://freakoutnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/KeystoneCops.jpg

      • Captain Howdy

        I thought it was..

        • Ze Moo

          Is that Professor Irwin Cory?

          http://www.irwincorey.org/

          • Captain Howdy

            Yes indeed.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Wouldn’t it be the greatest joke Ever if it turned out to be these two and the infamous 3rd party?

          http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/M/montypythonrules/1042931845_nquisition.jpg

          • Captain Howdy

            Terry Gilliam is infamous ? Perhaps my all time favorite MP bit.

          • DYK the Catholic church still does Inquisitions today…. the original Spanish ones lasted almost 3 centuries and were mainly created to weed out Semites rather than Heretics

            [god bless Stephen Fry and QI]

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              wait, wot?

            • Missionary Kid

              Yup. Their task is to root out heresy. It doesn’t use torture, but the institution is still there. Recently, they were the arm of the church that looked at the American Nuns, because they were talking more about helping people than doctrine.

            • Nobody expects the American Nuns!

              [I know it’s backwards, but meh]

            • Espiando

              Yep, the Inquisition still exists: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congregation_for_the_Doctrine_of_the_Faith. A certain retired (not Angry, not Gay) Pope was the head of said organization at one point.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Well, thank god inquisition tech is still well and alive. jeeeez

            • Espiando

              What surprises me is that no one’s linked to a YouTube clip of “The Inquisition” from “History Of The World, Part 1” yet.

            • bring in the nuns

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              wow, who knew?

            • Missionary Kid

              Believe it or not, but that fact was actually on TV during the hullabaloo about the changing of the guard at Pope.

            • Missionary Kid

              The purpose is to root out heresy. Ultimately, in my opinion, it is similar in the goals of certain arms of Scientology, but it doesn’t imprison or torture anyone. The worst that can happen is excommunication, which is done after a whole series of hearings, and the earthly consequences are far milder than what Co$ metes out.

              Being declared an SP subjected to disconnection and fair game in Co$ are imposed on the whims of DM. There is really no appeal process.

        • villagedianne

          . . . however! Professor Irwin Corey made more sense than Miscavige.

  • Sidney18511

    If the COBmeister had not run amuck with his slappy hands causing MR and company to blow, the church of scamology might of been able to comtinue to squash their “enemies” successfully like they had been doing for decades. The COBster got my vote for that reason.

  • Meanwhile, back on the Ranch, Study Tech slithers into Phoenix:

    March 27, 2013

    ‘Phoenix Schools Under Fire For Program Linked To Scientology’

    […]

    A group of Phoenix charter schools is facing criticism for using a teaching tool based on the work of L. Ron Hubbard, best known for founding the Church of Scientology.

    […]

    http://www.npr.org/2013/03/27/174441623/peter-o-dowd-tk

    Andrew

  • Missionary Kid

    I have carefully listened to the tapes and read the transcripts. Here is the decoded version of what DM actually said. Please read this carefully, and you will understand what he was saying:












    There, got it?

    • SP ‘Onage

      That is funny! Actually – this happened before. It’s called the “Confusion of COB” and it’s probably a result of the increased electromagnetism from the approach of Planet X. And reading the teleprompter drunk. 😀

      • Missionary Kid

        Maybe the teleprompter was drunk. Those electrons running it could have been corrupted by psychs.

        • SP ‘Onage

          Or maybe it was hacked? lol

        • John P.

          This sparks an idea. Remember the movie “Bruce Almighty” with Jim Carrey? Where Steve Carrell has a little problem with the TelePrompTer? Like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1o9ZWqCnKk

          It would be fun to infiltrate the “wog” a/v crew at the next big cult event and hack the copy on the prompter. Miscavige would have absolutely no idea what to do next. He’d blow a mental gasket, go catatonic and have to be carried off the stage. Start really light, inverting the meaning of his sentences every once in a while then dissociate progressively further into nonsense. I’d almost be sorry enough for what would happen to Danny Sherman to send him a box of Girl Scout cookies every week when he’s imprisoned in the Hole’s hole.

          • stillgrace

            My postulation is that he wouldn’t even notice, but just keep reading. I’d like to watch that!

          • Missionary Kid

            I had a similar daydream. Getting past the Co$ paranoid security would be difficult. Maybe someone in Anonymous would be able to do it remotely.

            I’d even donate to the Danny Sherman Girl Scout Cookie fund, but he’s doing such a FANTASTIC job right now of spreading the blather that he might get replaced with someone who’s able to put a sentence together.

            I have the feeling that no cookies would get to Danny anyway.

          • grundoon

            All the Subgenii together couldn’t make less sense than Dave and Dan, the Demented Duo. Hacking the teleprompter would be absolutely pointless.

    • FistOfXenu

      Nice one, MK. Saved me hours of work trying to figure out what language he was talking. I guess all your traveling as an MK made you real good at languages. 😛

      • Missionary Kid

        Not good at languages, just listening to stuff I didn’t really care about. I learned to sleep sitting up during sermons, yet was able to at least half-way answer my mom’s quiz at the dinner table afterwards.

        This had lower fact content than glossolalia.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          I thought the latin parts at catholic mass were boring as an antsy pants child. I remember hearing the teenagers complaining about it and wanting a modern version and in English. Finally, it happened. Now that they could understand what was being said, they left, never to return.

          There is always a darn good reason for obfuscation.

          • Missionary Kid

            When I was trying to sleep through sermons, it wasn’t a matter of not understanding, it was a matter of the message not resonating with me. I’d heard it all before.

  • SP ‘Onage

    What cracks me up is, DM can talk for three grueling hours on a staged set, but he doesn’t have the nerve to even talk three minutes to the press.

    • Missionary Kid

      Can you imagine what Katy Couric would do to him? Sarah Palin complained about a simple question that Katy asked and she blew. DM would attack, attack, attack anything that resembled a legitimate question.

      • SP ‘Onage

        He’d walk out like Tommy Davis did.

        • Missionary Kid

          It would be another serious loss of face if he did. That’s why he doesn’t risk any interviews that aren’t tightly controlled.

      • Captain Howdy

        I don’t know MK. Ms.Couric seems to be happy peddling even worse mind numbing “tittytainment” than Oprah these days. She had Jada on the other day crying about “children’s rights” with no questioning of her association with CoS, and from the ads I’ve seen she’s pushing the paranormal/”do angels exist” B.S hard.

        • Missionary Kid

          That’s my point. He’d screw it up and blame her, as softball as her questions would be.

          • Captain Howdy

            DOH!

        • stillgrace

          ” She had Jada on the other day crying about “children’s rights” ”

          Do you think Jada has any clue of the irony? How ridiculous and uninformed she appears.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I’m gonna take a wild guess and say his legal hyenas won’t let him. Here’s Part 9 of the Ted Koppel interview. Starting around 1:55 he goes into explaining about his Narconon program (what? you mean narconon is scientology?) and how all the problems he is having is because of the Psychlo’s. They’re all against him. The whole interview is chock full of uh oh moments, like he explains Hubbard Didn’t say clears don’t get colds, he said he Postulated they wouldn’t get colds, sort of like a metaphor, right Marty? Plus he just looks, shifts and wiggles, sounds, darting eyed and simply oozes Lying Liars that Lie tech.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtwVYDQQpBI&feature=share&list=PL78EB916DCDD964A0

      • LisaIsRemembered

        Batshit crazy eyes.

  • Boy nobody can twist and butcher the English language like that dark comedy duo of Miscavige and Sherman. I literally couldn’t stand to listen to more than a few seconds of that complete and utter nonsense.

    It’s beyond ironic that a group that champions literacy follows a leader who is clearly on many levels illiterate.

    • Missionary Kid

      Don’t forget that they’re experts in communication!!! 😀

  • mouseyhair

    Help! Anyone know if there is a Rosetta Stone program to help me understand “shermanspeak?” I am having to read and re-read what the little man said. Seriously, What a mess! I am glad that Claire is taking us through the beginning indoctrination so wogs like me can possibly understand the language as well as the slow process of the mind control!! Ok, back to re-read it AGAIN!

    • FistOfXenu

      NO! Don’t do it! You have your whole life ahead of you!

    • sizzle8

      You need the Blarney Stone version!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Kids….dont’ try translating this at home! Leave it to the professionals.

    • N. Graham

      I don’t think they have one yet. Babelfish doesn’t work either.

  • DodoTheLaser

    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2m4vmrq.jpg[/IMG]

    • SP ‘Onage

      Nice job, Dodo!

    • Captain Howdy

      That’s a keeper.

  • Brainslugged

    I have a serious case of “not know” what the fuck Miscavige is talking about. The truly amazing thing is that this drivel isn’t being made up as he’s going along, but pre-prepared and fed to him via teleprompter.

  • Jake the Logical

    I am not a member of this Church: but I do find it disrespectful and untasteful to make mockery of a leading ecclesiastical figure like this. Not everyone has the where with all to speak in front of large groups, and to give a moving spiritual speech takes many years of education and distinguishing achievement. What I have read and seen of Mr. Miscavige is very impressing indeed. He skillfully impinges on us to be kinder and more spiritual, in the best of ways, to make a better planet for the able.

    • sizzle8

      Good one!

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Ya, keeper!

        • Captain Howdy

          Scilon or satirist ?

          “very impressing” “untasteful” “skilfully impinges”

          I vote 50/50

          • FistOfXenu

            I vote he learned his command of English from Sherman and Miscavige.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              I’m going with “Dan Sherman’s Foreign Language BT”

    • 0tessa

      Forgive me, but are you seriously implying that Mr. Miscavige is a leading ecclesiastical figure …?
      Or is your irony lost on me?

      • Jake the Logical

        In the fact of that it is a major world religion, and Mr. Miscavige is it’s ecclesiastical leader and also a spiritual interpreter of their scriptures

        • stillgrace

          “In the fact of that it is a major world religion, and Mr. Miscavige is it’s ecclesiastical leader and also a spiritual interpretater of their scriptures”
          ^^^^^^^Pure Sea Org education and utter nonsense!

          • Jake the Logical

            I am not a member of this Church, if that is what you are implicating. Its’ just religious theology 101, if you went to College.

            • Yes, because “impinges” and “making a better planet for the able” are such common things for people to say outside Scientology.

              Too obvious.

            • Sidney18511

              Time to change your name jake. I was thinking something in the line of “jake the clamato”

            • Jake the Logical

              Clamato is a drink made of reconstituted tomato juice concentrate flavored with spices and clam broth. The name is a portmanteau of “clam” and “tomato”. It is also referred to colloquially as “clamato juice.” Clamato was produced in its current form by two men who wanted to create a Manhattan clam chowder style cocktail by combining tomato juice and clam broth. Clamato is used as a mix for alcoholic beverages and it is popular for this in both Canada and Mexico, but curiously much less so in the United States. The Caesar (a Bloody Mary with Clamato instead of tomato juice) is one of the top selling cocktails across Canada. Clamato is also added to beer in various beer cocktails (called Micheladas). The most basic is known as a “beer ‘n clam” in Western Canada, which is simply the addition of Clamato to pale lagers.

            • Captain Howdy

              So you majored in copypasta at Wossamotta U?

            • Jake the Logical

              “Look-up” : an act or instance of looking something up, as information in a reference book or an on-line database.

            • Espiando

              “Word-clearing”: an act reserved for the ignorant and/or brainwashed. An insult to one’s intelligence. A denigration of human ability. In other words, typical Scientology.

            • Jake the Logical

              An act of determinining, specifically :
              a : a statement expressing the essential nature of something
              b : a statement of the meaning of a word or word group or a sign or symbol
              c : a product of defining
              4 : the action or process of stating the meaning of a word or word group

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Signs and symbols are fun.

            • Espiando

              “Word-clearing”: An act not required if one is of normal or higher intelligence with a well-developed vocabulary. Only required if you are a moron or are in the process of being brainwashed into thinking that someone is such a “deep thinker” that you need to look up every word he’s written in a dictionary. Again, typical Scientology.

            • Sandy

              Bless your heart. You’re trying so hard.

            • N. Graham

              Wow! You word-cleared clamato for us. But don’t you have some talking to ashtrays blog you should be at now?

            • Jake the Logical

              I am not sure of the significance of you’re impertinents, but there IS a way to be educated and looking up words is a fundamental underlying basic foundational aspect of it if you want to know how to know. I do not know what you are talking about ashtrays, since I am not a part of The Church.

            • Johan

              “The significance of your impertinents”. Jake, you just made my day.

            • 0tessa

              ‘Impertinents’ is the word Miscavige uses to adress staffmembers who dare to say a critical word.

            • Captain Howdy

              “if you want to know how to know” ?

              Now you’re making it too obvious.

              I vote “satirist”.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Where is your “bingo” thingy!!!

              I would say….Want to play a game!

            • Kitz

              How about thermonuclear war?

            • Trustmeonthis

              Hello, Jake.
              You can get out. It isn’t too late. People will help. And don’t forget: “freeloader debt” is not legally enforceable! That means they can’t make you pay up, even if you signed something saying you would. It’s an illegal contract. You don’t owe them a damn thing.

            • Sidney18511

              hey jakey, maybe you can help me out with the meaning of one more thing. For the life of me I just grasp what the letters OSA stands for.

            • Jake the Logical

              Operati…. actually, I don’t know to which you refer. Ask someone who attends The Church, they would be able to guide you.

            • Sidney18511

              Wow jake, you are putting in some overtime today, maybe you will get time in a half and bring home a whopping $35.00 this week.

            • 0tessa

              Getting a bit hypocritical …?

            • 0tessa

              Office of Special Affairs, or, in fact, Security Service, like spionage, infiltration, eliminating people and so on.

            • N. Graham

              “I am not sure of the significance of you’re impertinents” “you’re” is you are. You mean “your.”

              Also, the red line under “impertinents” indicates it is spelled wrong. You need to look it up or do a right click to get the proper spelling, although in this case I think you’ve confounded the spell check since you aren’t even close. I think you mean “impertinence.” I’m afraid you are flunking your word clearing. Just write up whatever wins you did get.

            • no. it’s a cross between an e-meter and a tomato. lrh discovered it!

            • FistOfXenu

              I thought that was an emato.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              There ya go….:)

            • Jake the Logical

              I’m not sure of which you are referring

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Oh, I am sure you are not.

            • stillgrace

              I did go to college. Missed Theology 101 class, though. Was Pyramid Marketing, Ponzi Schemes, and how to fleece parishioners part of the curriculum?

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              What are you wearing, “Jake Not From Scientology”?

              http://youtu.be/47cAxRX3aDg

            • Captain Howdy

              Did they teach you “very impressing” and “untasteful” is proper English grammar at college ?

            • N. Graham

              Just a warning, if you went to college you will probably not be eligible to join this ecclesiastical religion.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              its’

              Come on..you are slipping!

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Is it really you?
          You have been scarce!
          And please don’t make my head hurt!

          • Captain Howdy

            turtlez ?

            • sugarplumfairy

              Lol.. Just saw this..

        • N. Graham

          By spiritual interpreter (correct spelling of that btw) do you mean that he makes it up? Because that’s the closest he’ll get to interpreting.

        • 0tessa

          I see, it was indeed lost on me. How stupid.

        • Captain Howdy

          Sorry, there are no theologians or interpreting done in scientology. That’s verbal tech..

        • Yeppir

          I thumbsed you up just for “interpretater.” My new word, which I shall now try to cleverly work into conversations where possible. VWD, Jake. Ack.

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          Mmmmmmm huh, I sure do like me some french fried interpretaters.

    • Brainslugged

      You’re right – no education or distinguishing achievements. Kudos to the little fella for sticking at it though.

    • SP ‘Onage

      Welcome chew toy!

      • BuryTheNuts2

        ^^^^^winner!

    • Trustmeonthis

      Oh he impinges all right. He impinges on logic, rational thought, common decency and the English language!
      Not to mention the OAPs whose money he takes in with his empty promises.

    • FistOfXenu

      ROFL!

      No, seriously, That doubled me up with laughter. Thanks.

    • Missionary Kid

      Great sarcasm!

    • Johan

      You are impinging some trolling on us…..

    • N. Graham

      That was funny! Thanks!

    • If it wasn’t for the disrespectful and untasteful mockery of a leading ecclesiastical figure ’round here, it would all be business.

    • Bob

      What he advocates is the donation by parishioners of millions and millions of dollars for the fraudulent activities of an arghanization that exploits and programs its members to follow a doctrine that creates able automatons. Mr. Mouse-caviage impinges on us to donate more time and money to his grandiose schemes of world domination.

    • grundoon

      Peace Theta!

  • Trustmeonthis

    rutube = permanent state of temporary unavailablity for me. Although, perhaps that is a blessing from the heavens.

  • Jgg2012

    Does Scientology cure diarrhea of the mouth?

    • FistOfXenu

      As well as it cures anything else.

    • Missionary Kid

      Obviously not.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      It has only exacerbated mine!

    • Missionary Kid

      A synonym for a $ciontology speech appears to be logorrhea.

      • FistOfXenu

        LRH talked a special dialect called “Ronorrhea”. DM’s dialect is called “COBorrhea”.

        • Missionary Kid

          Those terms are going in my Co$ dictionary.

          • FistOfXenu

            Include that Ronorrhea rhymes with gonorrhea. What was really wrong with him in 1942 instead of war wounds.

            • Missionary Kid

              Done.

  • i-Betty

    I am so proud of Karen and AGP 🙂

  • stillgrace

    Right now, 50% of us think Co$ is going down from the inside, and 50% of us think it’s going down from the outside.
    That adds up to 100% certainty: it’s going down, one way or another.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      I like your logic!
      Bravo!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist
      • stillgrace

        Hobby Wars! That was out there and very entertaining! Thanks! I enjoyed the analogy.

    • Missionary Kid

      It’s time to start betting pools on the following events:

      Closing of a fixed number or orgs, let’s say the first 5. (I doubt there will be any announcement).
      Defection of another Hollywood personality.
      Bankruptcy in another country.
      Public loss of another lawsuit in open court. (Settlements don’t count).
      Collection on such a lawsuit. (Extremely hard).
      Closing of the next NARCO-terrorist-NON facility.
      Closing of NARC-Arrowhead (Also called Arrow Foot Shot).
      Indictment of a NARCOCRAP official.
      Indictment of a $ciontologist official.

      Actual opening of the SuperDuper Power building.
      Jailing of a $cientologist.
      There would be no money involved, just a posting and, when it actually happens you get to claim that you were most correct.

  • N. Graham

    Ok, I think I’ve finally got it. Lil Davey is talking about Ideal Orgs and opening more when the ones that are there appear to be empty. But I think you really need to understand Scientology to see what’s going on. As more and more thousands, maybe millions, go OT, there are an extreme amount of freed body thetans floating around TeeGeeAck lately. And I’ll just bet, since they don’t have any money, that Davey has figured out a way to have them work in the Ideal Orgs! For free, or for auditing of course. That’s got to be it, because there is sure as hell no way anyone else is going to man the orgs. What’s that sinking sound?

  • N. Graham

    Another tough choice today. And close! Davey and Ron always have the close battles.

  • Poison Ivy

    “I said that nothing you had thus far seen was but a shadow of what we were going to unveil in 2013. To be sure, whenever we pause to celebrate it’s really just a pit stop, at which point it’s full throttle, pedal to the metal, a flagrant disregard for MEST universe speed limits.” Oh, the metaphors! Oh, the grammar! The grammar!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      grammar? where?

  • Bella Legosi

    Went downtown and saw the monstrosity on SW 3rd Ave for myself……got some pix as well…….oh my I don’t know if they are going to meet the next month deadline in PDX…….wonder if the gay strip club across the street knows what they are in for 🙁

    • sizzle8

      When Davey shows up for the ribbon cutting, the club should have an appropriate sign welcoming him.

      • Bella Legosi

        or maybe some process servers to greet him?????

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Or Paul Haggis, if he just happens to be in the neighborhood.

          • Bella Legosi

            One could only hope…..I bet the Scilons here totally lie their asses off to the homosexuals and since their books are all shrink wrapped you can’t go all Angry Gay Pope on them and turn to the page where it says homosexuals are deviants!! My god they make me angry….I am going to have a “Network” moment here I know it!!!!

    • Captain Howdy

      Idle Morgue vs gay strip club ? Anyone with “disposable income” should go to Angy Gay Pope’s site and make a donation so he can make the trip. It should be epic.

      http://angrygaypope.com/

      • Bella Legosi

        No kidding! I want to go back for some more pix…..I will be surprised if this opens and there isn’t some sort of protest. I am sure the strip club knows what has been moving across the street for some time, but yeah it’s been eeirly quiet as far as protests and Anon material in Portland recently. I just sent Tony the pix I took. Let me set up some sort of photobucket account and I will post them here if anyone is curious to see what wasted money gets spent on.

        • Sandy

          Bella. Mike Rinder is collecting current photos of all orgs. Please send him your pics.

          • Bella Legosi

            Ill send him those……anyone else can see them and get them from the link I posted…..unless photobucket has some sort of thing that doesn’t allow you to “steal” pictures…..they are for all

    • Bella Legosi

      Here they are…………

      let me know if i fouled up the link

      http://s1282.photobucket.com/user/BellaLegosi/media/Co1_zps9ea541eb.jpg.html

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Is that the old Portland General Electric office building?

        • Bella Legosi

          It may have been…..apparently the church bought this in 2010….so its taken 3 years to get it up to what you see in the pics….the addy is 304 SW Oak St….makes sense that area has been getting “revitalized” for the past 5 years. NW Portland has million dollar condos, expensive bars, and a lot of hipsters

        • Bella Legosi

          Yep kinda fitting really…PGE was a sub of Enron lets just hope some of Enrons accounting practices have rubbed off on Co$ PDX

          • BuryTheNuts2

            lol, I worked for a company that almost merged with PGE and I worked in the building for a few days. That is funny.

    • John P.

      What a study in contrasts! The Church of Scientology on one corner and a gay strip club on the other.

      On one side of the street, you have a tawdry organization run by corrupt and cynical management, which forces its workers into committing degrading and shameful acts, acts they wouldn’t have committed in their prior lives, to satisfy management’s endless greed to promote an improbable fantasy, an illusion of happiness and thrills, with a goal of separating the low-life customers from all their money as fast as humanly possible.

      On the other side of the street, they offer half-price lap dances on Mondays and have a nice selection of craft beers on tap.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Good one, JohnP! Just forgot to add the Reality of thrills and happiness on the beer tap side of the street.

      • Bella Legosi

        Keep Portland Weird right???? lol I would have snapped some of the club for contrast but we were already in a no parking zone……i suppose it can wait for video……its a pretty big building

  • Jgg2012

    I think the problem is that if the Super Powers Building were opened too soon, everyone would get pneumonia.

  • Artoo45

    That’s a lot of corn on the COB . . .

    • Missionary Kid

      Pun of the day. Pun of the day. Pun of the day.

    • N. Graham

      Davey looks so grown-up!

      • 0tessa

        The lady in green – is she the composite of clusters of bodythetans hanging around Miscavige? She is so to speak his ‘alter ego’ or even his real ego?

        • N. Graham

          The lady in green is actually Shelley. Ironically, she looks the most normal compared to the rest.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            No, Shelly is to his left. I do believe that is, or was, Debbie Cook, NonPerson #124,522.

            • Captain Howdy

              Yep, 4th from the left.

            • N. Graham

              Oh yes, you’re right. I should have seen that.

      • grundoon

        Does he really wear 8 stripes? Even the US Navy tops out at 5.

    • stillgrace

      Did someone mention …

      • SP ‘Onage

        I just died and had to be resuscitated to laugh some more.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          You did a bunk?

          Who gave you the “bring back to life assist”

          Did they sound tone 40?

          • Trustmeonthis

            Me. I just yelled really, really loudly. Good thing there were no state troopers blocking my path!

      • LisaIsRemembered

        Much more stylish than a tinfoil hat 🙂

    • Missionary Kid

      I’ll bet they put the shortest women in front so DM would look taller.

      Correct me if I’m wrong, but admirals don’t wear that many thin stripes on their uniforms, do they? They substitute some of the skinny stripes for broad ones. Of course, this is his imaginary navy, so he can do anything he wants. I’d like to see him walk into a Navy NCO or officer’s club with that ridiculous insignia and the chest salad. When they stopped laughing, he’d be out on his ear – fast.

      • Why do I see no smiles? It looks too much like those photos of North Korean militias to me, except for the one in green possibly.

        • Missionary Kid

          I don’t know who’s taller, Kim Jung Un or DM.

          • Captain Howdy

            Kim Jong-un is supposedly 5 ‘9’.

            • Missionary Kid

              Then he’s much taller than his father, who not only wore lifts in his shoes, but combed his hair up so it would add to his height.

              As I understand it, the height of the North Koreans has actually been diminished by the years of malnourishment. DM would feel at home and like a giant there.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              In his totalitarian little dream world!!!

    • Jake the Logical

      I think that person who looks green was made to be a false datum by some interferer in journalistic integrals.

      • sugarplumfairy

        I think it’s Shelley back from the Mars RPF..

  • California

    RE: Arizona charter schools using Applied Scholastics

    This issue is now being handled by the administrators and other professionals concerned and responsible for Arizona charter schools and the laws/rules/regs about curriculum for ALL students and especially for students at high-risk from a variety of factors.

    ALL curriculum is supposed to undergo peer evaluation and approved before it is brought into the classroom for public and charter schools.

    After the Narconon Drug Education debacle for SCN/Narconon (when SCN/ABLE/Narconon did give permission to have an evaluation done on Narconon Drug Education by the California Department of Education back in 2004 and the bogus program was found wanting [California Department of Education, punch in Narconon]), SCN/ABLE/Applied Scholastics has steadfastly refused any type of real peer and/or professional evaluation done by the states or, actually, any peer-reviewed academic organization.

    Therefore, it should not be used in AZ charter schools or anywhere else. AS got away with it under the discredited and now defunct Supplemental Educational Services (SES) program for after-school tutoring and even AZ waivered out of that mess.

    Good call for whoever caught this and bravo to NPR.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Many Whoops to this. Here’s what I want to know and I haven’t found any exact information about this Phoenix head of the school or any others. The financials seem to be vague. All I know for sure is the sci desperation for cash flow levels is straight up and vertical in the last few years. Were there governmental or private group grants involved that scientology was bottom feeding on?

      • California

        For sure there was governmental monies that SCN/ABLE/AS received when they were part of the defunct SES program….. $30 to $80 per hour per student of public education monies. Ridiculous.

        I have no idea about the financials with these charter schools under Robert L. Duffy but ultimately the state of AZ has full authority of oversight and to inquire about any irregularities. As do the parents in the charter schools affected. I am wondering if the local Phoenix papers are going to do some follow-up on this.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          The nitty gritty figures, those aren’t for general public view, but state boards, someone has to have access.

          • California

            Actually, it should be part of the public record. Charter schools are part of public education and full disclosure needs to mean just that.

            Private schools have more leeway in hiding their monies and budgets from the general public but this is not true for charter schools….. charter schools are using federal and state public ed monies, which is why First Amendment issues are pertinent.

    • Captain Howdy

      “Good call for whoever caught this”

      Let me check…it was some guy from..New Zealand ?!?!

      • California

        The Kiwi’s are great.

      • sugarplumfairy

        Andrew isn’t just ‘some guy..’. He’s a god..

        • sugarplumfairy

          As are you, Cap’n.. kinda like Zeus and Poseidon..

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Good save!

            • sugarplumfairy

              Lol.. Busted..

  • Jgg2012

    Actually, Davey would be good for filibustering on the Senate floor. He probably sees himself as the Mr. Smith of Scientology, rambling on while his enemies plot to destroy him.

  • Snippy_X

    Funny you mention North Korea, Tony. My first impression when I heard that cheering was at least they don’t have the bomb.

  • BosonStark

    I was thinking, what is Miscavige supposed to say?

    “Many of the new Ideal Orgs are struggling. Tom Cruise got divorced, again. A book by a Pulitzer Prize winner, and one by my niece Jenna came out which are crashing our numbers. With the Internet, secrets about Xenu and super powerz aren’t selling the way they used to when the old fraud was alive. Bales of shit probably would have sold better than the Nutterpedia.”

    The cult is based on pie-in-the-sky fantasies about clearing this sector of the galaxy, why shouldn’t everything be going out-of-this-world great, even when it isn’t? That is what Scientology means, belonging to an elite group with the answers who are the only ones who can save the planet.

    Most of the people who go to these rallies probably love hearing stuff like this. Super Power as an idea is probably better than the reality could ever be. They don’t want it to open either. What was the cult at its pinnacle, except too many people getting stuck in the trap either following a carrot on a stick or basking in self-importance?

    • Missionary Kid

      He could have said it in much fewer words, but considering the GREAT IMPORTANCE of the event, he had to give them more time so that they’d think he’d graced them with his WONDROUS presence for a period of time that made it worthy them to come and see him.

  • “…all new LRH rundowns…” Doesn’t that fucking insane fraud know that Hubbard is dead?

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Hot Buttered thanks to Alanzo for best visual thrill in today’s thread: the Danny Sherman Intervention.

  • Jake the Logical

    Clamato is a drink made of tomato juice concentrate flavored with clam broth. The name is a portmanteau of “clam” and “tomato”. It is also referred to colloquially as “clamato juice.” Clamato was produced to create a Manhattan clam chowder style cocktail by combining tomato juice and clam broth.

    • Sidney18511

      My my my….your brilliance is sooooo impressive. I must say, you are smarter then a clam. Maybe if you have time you can Enlighten us on the history of another beverage. Ummm, let’s see…how about a rundown on on the history of kool-aid.

      • Jake the Logical

        You obviously are ignorant of the fact that the clam is intelgrated into our physiognomy. As they say, if your jaw is hurting then that is recapitulatating the physiognomy of a clam, we share the same genes, obviously.

    • Captain Howdy

      Regurgitating is for cats with hairballs and you don’t qualify on either front.

  • Captain Howdy

    WWP is currently passing the Demented Midget like a “BLANK”

    And are we going to break the 500 mark ?

    OOH-RAH !

    • sugarplumfairy

      I just got off work and am feeling very opinionated.. I’m pretty sure we’ll pass 500..

      • Captain Howdy

        That’s the spirit! I now give you a battlefield commission to First Lieutenant.

        • sugarplumfairy

          OOH-RAH!

          • Jake the Logical

            Wouldn’t it be great if we had a troll?

            • sugarplumfairy

              turtlez!! Is it you?

            • Captain Howdy

              I thinks Jake is pulling our chinny chin chin.

            • Davka

              I agree.

            • Jake the Logical

              OK, this is the second time tonight that someone has referenced “turtlez.”
              I may not be the best troll, but it hurts my feelings when a newcomer steals my thunder.
              Im not turlez.
              Ima go be sad

            • Captain Howdy

              “Turtlez” is/was a scieno troll doing “conditions” at our expense in the near past.

            • Jake the Logical

              Not Marcotai, I hope

            • Captain Howdy

              No, a cat by the name of Bill Yaude.

            • Jake the Logical

              Fascinating. I shouldn’t stay away for so long. This place is organic.

            • Captain Howdy

              Stay away? When were you “here’ before ?

            • Who was the regular bunkerite who trolled with a name that was either an anagram or used a simple alphabet substitution code?

            • John P.

              I think that was CanuckXenu, who hasn’t been seen in these parts in quite some time.

            • Jake the Logical

              Actually, it was me………… no code name since I’ve been away for a while, will ramp up the crypto based on interest

            • Ha! Knew it! Can’t remember your regular identity though. It’s been a while (and my band width sucks so no backwards research for me).

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Yipee!!!

            • stillgrace

              Captain, I think this is the same creep who some time ago misspelled everything at first, and then announced himself as an awesome speller. He thought he was so smart with his old “one path to certain death” riddle. Same pattern. I’m bored. Yawn. Signing off.

            • Captain Howdy

              Jake, I’m still waiting.

            • Captain Howdy

              Thanks, and you’re still on the “watch list” despite your attempts to find a dead account.

            • Jake the Logical

              WTF does that mean? Because it sounds threatening, and I have been a loyal friend to this thread for many years.

            • Jake the Logical

              I’m flattered (blushes)

            • Captain Howdy

              Thanks Bill, you didn’t let me down.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              No you shouldn’t! I miss you when you are gone.

      • Jake the Logical

        We just did

    • aquaclara

      Fabulous smershness! Way to go, WWP!

  • SP ‘Onage

    Just in case we get nuked by North Korea here on the Pacific Coast. I want to say, “I will miss the Underground Bunker.”

    A lot of fighter jets and helicopters have been flying around the past couple of days.

  • California

    More on the Applied Scholastics in Phoenix, AZ charter schools: http://www.takepart.com/article/2013/03/27/scientology-schools-sneaking-into-classrooms

    The teachers received training in AS and objected. And another attorney weighs in about First Amendment issues.

    My best guess is that AS in the charter schools will be shut down on curriculum issues plus the valid concerns of the parents.

    I am just sitting here, sipping my tea and watching Bob Adams and his SF band of (former GO and presently OSA) merrymakers implode, so very publicly. And their OSA mis-steps just keep helping the good guys.

    And where is DM in this mess?

    • noseinabk

      Robert Duffy claimed in the first NPR article that he was not a sci.

      Not sure if this is him? If it is it should be sent to NPR.

      http://sites.myhomepage.org/robertduffy/

      • California

        Hard to tell as the charter school head we are talking about is Robert L. Duffy and the cookie-cutter page is Robert Duffy….

        But I think any enterprising journalist could ask him…. and perhaps there are some ex’es out there who know the Robert Duffy in the cookie cutter page and could help us clarify …..

        • noseinabk

          He is not listed on the completions.

        • noseinabk

          If anyone is as nosy as I am they would come across the name Bernard Duffy ( 100%sci) who if you just look in Google images, looks quite a bit like Robert L Duffy. I know I have no horse in this race but it pisses me off that some demented droid thinks he can fix a school system and collect fraudulent government money for these poor kids.

          • California

            Actually, noseinabk, everyone has a horse in this race. Public education is everyone’s responsibility…..

    • Enjoy that tea Cali; and the sweet taste of a turning tide 🙂

  • California

    http://mcalesternews.com/breakingnews/x1221100507/Narconon-Arrowhead-exec-and-Narconon-Vista-Bay-advertise-revoked-certification

    And here is more Narconon news with more lies from Gary Smith, Narconon Arrowhead and Narconon Vista Bay.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      “A top executive at Narconon Arrowhead and at least one other Narconon facility allegedly advertise a certification they no longer have, according to officials.”

      So, no problem, Gary Smith and Davey Miscavige can just put the world on Ignore as usual. Oh wait.

      “To serve the greater interest of public safety and the integrity of the forensic counseling profession, the NAFC will persistently investigate all allegations and take appropriate actions based on investigative
      findings,” Taylor said.

      It just so happens I was turning off the tv, heading for bed when CBS’s affiliate TV station, http://www.wtsp.com, began their “60 Minutes Tampa Bay” new segment. I heard David Love’s voice and then a full 10 minutes of Narconon exposure ending off with quick mention of link to their earlier segment on Jenna Miscavige Hill’s book.

      It’s almost like David Miscavige can’t utterly destroy a single soul these days without it making the news or hitting a lawyer’s inbox.

  • California

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/03/27/scientology_in_schools_phoenix_charter_district_used_applied_scholastics.html with video clearly showing the connection between AS and SCN.

    And one more: http://www.wknofm.org/post/phoenix-schools-under-fire-program-linked-scientology

    Four more days left in March….. I wonder what else is going to take place at ABLE/AS/Narconon?

    • watched video – someone pass the brain bleach please. Same graphics; same shock and awe approach of moody music and ‘end of the world’ narrative turning into ‘aren’t we all happy campers’ after we introduced dictionaries. Can’t believe people fall for this crap.

      • California

        The teachers did not fall for this nonsense, apparently, and started complaining.

        I am wondering if AS got paid, with public ed funds, for being in these schools…. now that is going to be very interesting to follow…..

  • jensting

    oh, – am I the ony one who can’t wait to see David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige on the wittness stand in a court room that allows video transmission? Given his reported delight at watching the “auditing” sessions of others, I’m sure he understands…

  • 0tessa

    Captain Howdy: re your question regarding OBE’s:

    “found Karen’s answers revealing: the end phenomena have been puffed up, already by Hubbard himself.
    There is no state of ‘exterior’, let alone with ‘full perception’. In neurology ‘out of body experiences’, e.g. like the ‘doppelganger’ sensation, are disturbances in the brain. Normally the brain processes the input of different sensory systems into one entity (of information). This happens in multi-modal processing centra (if my translation is correct …) But sometimes this goes wrong and then we have a mismatch between different experience systems. Like you get while reading while sitting in a car taking a winding road. The out-of-body experience can also occur after certain forms of meditation. I reckon that some Scientology processes can have a similar effect as that of meditation. It is indeed never stable, fortunately!”

  • RMycroft

    His nose is definitely getting longer.

  • Sid Snakey

    Miscavige and Sherman are butchers of the English language.

    But why do they speak in riddle and nonsense? If Scientologists are supposed to set such huge store in their ability to clearly communicate, then why is it that at the most senior level of Scientology it appears they have totally lost ALL ability to communicate?

    The answer is simple. If they told the truth, their events would be over in 5 minutes. By talking in riddles and nonsense, by constantly going off on bizarre and unnecessary linguistic tangents, it becomes possible (although tortuous) to speak for hours without actually saying anything. And that surely is the goal. If he can speak for hours on the subject of Scientology expansion then there MUST be a LOT of expansion going on!

    It speaks volumes for the subject of Scientology however, that those who attend these events (apart from the odd one with a hidden microphone) are either willing to lap it all up or reluctantly cheer on, worried about the implications for their lives if they do not show the required level of enthusiasm.

    Either way, these people have lost their ability to think or speak freely and Miscavige has simply lost the ability to speak.