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—————- In anticipation of her biggest day in court yet, Laura DeCrescenzo and her attorneys hit the Church of Scientology with 928 pages of new filings —————- Details from 18,000 pages of evidence show how Scientology manipulated a child to keep her working under slave-like conditions —————- A key document describing DeCrescenzo’s unwillingness to have her coerced abortion is missing from the evidence Scientology was ordered to produce By Tony Ortega Wednesday afternoon, Laura DeCrescenzo filed explosive new information in her four-year legal odyssey against the Church of Scientology, submitting 928 pages of new declarations and exhibits in anticipation of a crucial October 23 hearing in her lawsuit against the church which alleges abuse, including allegations that she was forced to have an abortion at only 17 years of age. Key to the new filings is information gleaned from thousands of pages of previously secret files that the church fought mightily to keep under wraps. But on Monday, the U.

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Vance Woodward’s Book Addicted to Scientology Is An Amazing High

How does yet another self-published book revealing the “secrets” of Scientology stand out with so many others appearing in the last few years?

Well, we guarantee you haven’t read one like this.

Vance Woodward is a Bay Area lawyer who fell into Scientology at only 14, spent 22 years struggling through the church’s auditing, and handed over about $600,000 along the way.

And now, he’s gone deep into his own personal story in order to give the rest of us one of the most entertaining and penetrating descriptions of what it’s like to fall under L. Ron Hubbard’s spell in Addicted to Scientology: Overcoming the Ups & Downs of Scientoloholism.

At 350 pages, Woodward’s book may go into the ripoffs and redundancies and sheer inanities of life at the Winnipeg and San Francisco “orgs” in such detail that we wonder about the book’s appeal for a general reader. But for those of us fascinated with Scientology in its time of crisis, this book is a rollicking good time.

But don’t come to it expecting to learn about the secret plans of church leader David Miscavige, or the deprivations of the Sea Org, or the indignities of “disconnection” or “fair game.”

Woodward’s book is not an expose about those controversies that have threatened to split the church apart.

In some ways, Woodward’s book is even more worrisome for the Scientology project: it tells, in hilarity and frustration, what it can be like for a run-of-the-mill church member who simply wants to improve his life. For Woodward, it was a maddening series of experiences that had him mired for years in low-level auditing. After 22 years, he never finished the “Grades,” let alone went Clear or advanced to the OT levels.

From his struggles to get someone, anyone, at the church to give him a straight answer about anything, to his grim experiences being constantly interrogated about his most embarrassing personal foibles in the name of “ethics,” to the constant fleecing he went through as he attended one fundraiser after another — Woodward explains his inability to call a halt to the years of insanity by concluding, finally, that Scientology is a drug, and that he was an addict.

While getting to that conclusion, Woodward falls upon brilliant insights about the “technology” itself. There’s his study of Hubbard’s idea about “thetans” and past lives, for example: Woodward explains that a close reading shows that Hubbard never expected anyone to think that exploring past lives was anything but make believe.

After finishing his book, we sent Woodward some questions and then talked to him on the phone. Here’s how our e-mail exchange went…

You describe so many problems advancing up the Bridge and getting training — and in general we do hear complaints that this is a widespread issue as the focus has shifted to donations for things like IAS and library campaigns. Auditors are just not being created like they once were, we hear all the time. But on the other hand, there are stories like Brian Culkin’s. In only a year (2009-2010), he went Clear, and did quite a bit of training (and also got drained of $350,000). So the question is, do you have any sense for how typical your experience was, and how many others are having a hard time getting up the Bridge?

I’d say my experience is pretty typical in terms of Bridge progress over time…but atypical in terms of Bridge progress per dollar spent. I mean, most Scientologists don’t go up the Bridge, period. Most Scientologists aren’t particularly into studying Scientology. And most Scientologists are broke…or profess to be so. So those things all go together intuitively.

That said, most well-heeled Scientologists — say, dentists or whatever — do tend to make it up to the OT levels if they stick around long enough. Basically, everybody has a very difficult time getting up the Bridge, but nobody talks about the difficulties. So, when you look at others who have made it to Clear or beyond, it always just sort of seems like they must have had an easy time of it…even though with a little reflection one has to assume such was not the case. When you’re inside, it’s tough to gauge anything based on what people say because everything always has a positive spin on it. It would — no joke — be out-ethics to say anything that would discourage others from trying to go up the Bridge. Certainly, talking about difficulties or giving the impression that it’s difficult to get up the Bridge would be good for a trip to the Ethics Officer.

Anyhow, from 1989 to 2007, I’d say my progress was typical: on and off, redoing stuff, getting mostly nowhere in terms of Bridge progress. But, certainly in the 2007-2010 period, I was way beyond anybody else in SF as far as I know in terms of amount of auditing received and in terms of donating to the IAS (in SF).

In the case of Brian Culkin, it’s probably easier for a brand-new Scientologist to just fly up the Bridge. Once you’ve been in for a while and have rolled up some Ethics trouble and auditing upsets, they seem to keep coming back over and over to haunt one. Old timers spend a lot of time just being upset about having to have their upsets handled, which upsets them, which needs to be handled, which…It’s like a sick relationship that way.

I have another theory…even more speculative. Very social, normal people have an easier time going up the Bridge, period. You can think of going up the Bridge as more of a filtering process than a road of improvement. Culkin seems pretty social/normal/empathic. I’ve grown to suspect that I’m an aspy, or at least I’m like an aspy in many ways. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that aspies and autistics in general might react differently on the e-meter…uh-oh. Either way, they’re different from normal people, which will indeed cause trouble in auditing, especially when you consider that auditing benefits depend on open communication between the PC and auditor…not an aspy strong suit.

You do such a good job describing how you caved, time and time again, to requests for more money, and how you ended up getting outright ripped off. You provide a very entertaining internal dialogue about how you felt like such a sucker, but you’re writing this after the fact. At the time, were you really conscious of how badly you were being taken? And how do you feel about that now? Why were you such an easy mark?

It’s one thing to get suckered or manipulated by a Scientologist. Anybody can write that off as not reflecting Scientology in general. I never really felt like I was being ripped off by Scientology or the overall Church…until the end.

I was an easy mark because, for whatever reason — pride — I couldn’t make myself plead “no money” like so many other Scientologists would. On the other side, there were plenty of ballers who would give or had given as much as me…I looked up to them. I wanted to set a good example, too.

I tried to capture as best I could how I felt at the time that things were happening. Of course, that’s extremely difficult to do honestly for a number of reasons (faulty memory mixed with hindsight, rationalization, etc.). At the very least, I wanted to avoid that sounding self-righteous.

The thing that kept me going was the abiding faith that further breakthroughs would come my way if I kept motoring up the Bridge. I was convinced that Scientology had layered meanings and that, by continuing, I’d become more “causative,” and less sucker. So, getting suckered here and there only served to confirm for me that I needed more Scientology, not less, because here I am getting suckered by other Scientologists. Stating it slightly differently, I figured there were enough hidden gems waiting somewhere, hopefully, that it would all be worthwhile. And to the extent things were getting costly and for little gain, I figured that I had to mentally commit more in order to get more gains. Since I had more money than most others (and I envisioned myself as being a bigger, smarter, more able being than most others), the money I donated (dollar for dollar) meant less to me than it did to others. So, naturally I had to give more than the average impoverished Scientologist just to extract the same feeling of commitment. That theory — that I just needed to commit even more — pretty much was enough to drain my bank account.

How I feel now is pretty much the same as I described at the end of the book, more or less. I mean, I just feel like I need to suck it up (that I was WRONG WRONG WRONG!) and move on. Harboring hatred and resentment isn’t going to lead anywhere useful, just like it doesn’t lead anywhere useful to hate on drug addicts and dealers. Some people can use drugs socially and then stop no problem. Other can’t. I’m one of the others. Bummer.

We wondered how much this material would appeal to a more general audience, perhaps with an edit. What’s the history of this project as a book?

I sent it to, oh, 50 agents or so back in April, and got no bites. (One person did kindly write me an e-mail saying something to the effect that it wasn’t bad but that I needed a platform, which I sort of was expecting.) So, I let it sit for a few months while I worked on my other books, then came back to it, gave it some more edits and went ahead with the self-publishing route.

Just as I was going through the last edit, I decided to write a chapter on how I was feeling nowadays and that morphed into the This Is Scientology series that I put on my blog. I’d certainly love to get the book published mainstream … That’d be quite awesome!

I think the book is way different than anything else about Scientology on the market. Sure, there’s no Tom Cruise, no inner sanctum, no “harrowing escape.” It’s just about a high-IQ douchebag drug addict (kind of pedestrian as far as memoirs go). The upsides are that I try take you inside my head as best I can so that it can sort of seem logical and not just self-righteous. That and I’m pretty sure I had insights about what was going on in Ron’s mind that others haven’t articulated.


In our phone conversation, Woodward says that he still has $200,000 on account, and has already sent one letter asking the church for a refund. If he gets no response to further inquiries, he says he plans to file suit.

Something tells us the legal documents he files in that case will be a hoot.

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  • John P.

    Some great quotes in the interview:

    Most Scientologists aren’t particularly into studying Scientology.

    It doesn’t take a highly trained analytical professional from Global Capitalism HQ to conclude that this is a problem for the future growth of the cult.

    Old timers spend a lot of time just being upset about having to have their upsets handled, which upsets them, which needs to be handled, which…It’s like a sick relationship that way.

    This is exactly how you end up taking the trip down the rabbit hole. Scientology causes the upsets that only Scientology can solve. You end up being so distracted solving the problems that Scientology creates that you never really get around to solving the problems you came into Scientology to get handled.

    So, getting suckered here and there only served to confirm for me that I needed moreScientology, not less, because here I am getting suckered by other Scientologists. Stating it slightly differently, I figured there were enough hidden gems waiting somewhere, hopefully, that it would all be worthwhile.

    In other words, if you dig through enough horseshit, you’ll eventually find a pony. And therefore, the more horseshit there is, the more valuable the pony.

    These are brilliant images, in plain, memorable language, that captures exactly the mindfuck of the cult. Kudos to Vance for coming up with such a memorable way of expressing them. Anyone thinking of joining the cult should read this short piece, which makes the point in a very fun way that joining would be a really bad idea. Congratulations, Vance. And thanks, Tony, for bringing this one to our attention.

    • John P.

      I can’t tell you how warm and fuzzy it makes me feel to see an “Edit” button after the comment I just posted. It’s like a ray of sunshine that will follow me around every time I read an article on this site!

    • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

      John P –

      Once the forensic accountants have poured over all the sets of Scientology’s books, and released them into the public domain, you should write a book detailing how to make money from a cult.

      Using Scientology as the case study, this would be fascinating – and practical.

      Inc Magazine would surely do a cover story on it. (:>)


      • John P.

        One would not need to have a look inside of Scientology’s books in order to put together a book on how to make money from a cult. It turns out that the business of being a cult obeys the same economic rules and strategic logic as other sorts of business.

        In particular, economic principles that apply to businesses with high switching costs (nuclear reactors, jet planes, corporate computer software) are extremely relevant. In these businesses, if you are an airline who is not happy with your current jet engine supplier, it is very hard to change to another supplier. Not only do you have to buy tons of new engines at $10 million and up per engine, but you have to purchase a massive inventory of spare parts, and perhaps most prohibitively, you have to retrain all your mechanics and pilots. Same thing with a cult: if you’ve done it right, nobody else offers the same brand of “eternity” as you do. So anybody that’s a real customer is a customer for a very long time. And if that’s true, then you can charge a lot of money and your profit percentages will be massive. The challenge thus becomes getting new people in the door.

        From an economic standpoint, there are only a few features of the cult that are novel: the amount per customer extracted from longtime members that get all the way through OT VIII; the ability to move from cheap intro experiences (free personality tests, $5 copy of Dianetics) to make-you-broke OT VIII; and the existence of a Sea Org and other sociological factors that make people willing to work for $50 a week (most other cults pay a little bit more than that, I suspect).

        I would rather write some sort of darkly comical novel that parodies the process of creating a cult. If I were to do that, Scientology is only one of the cults I would mock.

        • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

          Thanks for breaking it down, once again.

          Either way, you should publish something. You are a great writer and I very much enjoy your posts.


          • HyperionCorp

            I guarantee our JP has published many things

            • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

              Oh really?

            • John P.

              Thanks for your kind words about my writing. I have written extensively, but it’s all internal investment evaluation reports. You can’t buy any of it on Amazon. I’m still working on the thriller novels that focus on capitalism; maybe you’ll be able to buy them in a couple years.

            • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

              “Thriller novels that focus on capitalism”.

              Obviously you’ll need Alan Greenspan to write an advanced blurb, or you’ll never even get an agent. :>

  • mirele

    If I was Scientology, I’d give Woodward his money back. The fight to have $200K returned on account would make a great frame for a book about Scientology.

  • http://twitter.com/media_lush media_lush

    I think a better route to get heard is to do a major edit for a magazine (Vanity Fair, maybe?). In fact just sending the exact copy here should be enough to garner interest.

    Suggested title along the lines of:

    How even a Successful Lawyer can get sucked into Scientology

    ….just an idea.

  • burythenuts

    Sure, there’s no Tom Cruise, no inner sanctum, no “harrowing escape.” It’s just about a high-IQ douchebag drug addict (kind of pedestrian as far as memoirs go). The upsides are that I try take you inside my head as best I can so that it can sort of seem logical and not just self-righteous. That and I’m pretty sure I had insights about what was going on in Ron’s mind that others haven’t articulated.

    OH MAN, OH MAN….this guy totally sounds great.
    This is the book I wanna read!
    And he’s an Aspy!…These people are a wild ride if you take the time to get to know them and it ain’t easy!
    Thanks for this post Tony O.

    I have a feeling this is going to be an awesome read.

  • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

    Thanks for show-casing this book, Tony. I prefer hearing the insights of individual Scientologists on the Scientology experience rather than just hearing from the criminals and the bullies who ran the con for LRon from Int Base.

    Stephen Hassan talks about everyday cult members who are actually more spiritually sincere, and more intelligent and spiritually insightful, than the cult leader himself. Most of the people who are out of the Church and communicating on the Internet from Int Base have not yet figured anything out about the con that LRon was actually playing on them. They are still thinking with Scientology and validating their own Scientology thinking with LRH references – a sure sign that they have not yet figured anything out.

    You will never truly understand Scientology, and what Hubbard was actually doing, if you are still using Scientology to do your thinking for you.

    So this book sounds like a true “exterior”, unique, and original evaluation of the Scientology experience.

    I’m definitely going to get Vance Woodward’s book.

    Thanks, Tony.


    • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

      The editing function is working great!

      Now I can look like a better writer than I really am!

      • burythenuts

        5-1=^4 !!!

        • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

          Just do it, I dare ya.

          • burythenuts

            Come here Alanzo….Look directly into my “shark eyes”…
            You are getting sleepy….very, very sleepy!
            Now go touch that wall…..

            • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

              You think you can hyp-NO-tize me? I’ve already been hyp-NO-tized by the best.

              I see that you have not yet down-voted me.

              Who’s hyp-no-tized now? Hmmmm?

            • burythenuts

              Alanzo….Deep down you are just a Mid-western Flirt…!.
              Behave yourself…!
              Of course I haven’t “voted you down”
              But i am still keepin” score of the math there buddy! ;)

            • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

              In the cornfields, this is called “playing”.

            • HyperionCorp

              Cute, it looks like you two made up:)

              Good thing, since you are my fave posters here!

            • burythenuts


            • burythenuts

              That is what I like about you Alanzo!
              U r corny!!!
              U playin in the Maze? Lol

  • burythenuts

    I just went to Amazon and bought this book.
    YOU GOTTA READ the outline/synopsis on Amazon!
    As one of my coworkers says…”Its imperative”…mission critical even.

    • nobs

      Not to mention Vance’s review of his book. Awesome.

  • burythenuts
    • BosonStark

      I read all the sections on Vance’s website this morning and his take on Scientology is hilarious, with such refreshingly penetrating insight. I don’t think Marty’s going to be recommending this to his readers. It is kind of scary though, that such a sardonic, intelligent, thoughtful, self-critical person got addicted to it.

      As Vance makes so perfectly clear, if the Internet had come along earlier, he wouldn’t have. I enjoyed his glorification of the web. Since I never got involved in Scientology, I don’t have to mourn the lack of an Internet when I was young for that, but I do for hundreds of other things. I believe it would have made a huge positive difference in my life, but I have old friends who while like like the Internet, they still see their young years as “untainted” by it somehow.

      I can’t see that at all. I craved information when I was young. I wanted to know stuff. I wanted to see how other people did things, how things worked. I wanted to hear and see other musicians. I was frustrated by libraries when the book I wanted was out, or it was so hard to find one little piece of information that wasn’t the type of thing that would be in an encyclopedia.

      And now, with the Internet, a self-published book like this can reach its audience.

      • burythenuts

        Oh what you say about the internet is so true. Man I wish I would have had access to that kind of information as a kid! There is so much stuff to satiate the brain that used to be so difficult to mine.

        • mirele

          I was the little girl who would pick up a volume of the encyclopedia off the shelf and read it. My father said he was always amazed to see me do this, it was so unlike what he expected out of a kid.

  • sugarplumfairy

    “..I wouldn’t be surprised to find that aspies and autistics in general might react differently on the e-meter…uh-oh…”

    Except that the e-meter has been proven to be an expensive con..like the rest of co$..

    Sounds to me like his problem is that he thought and still thinks lrh’s created-to-fleece tech actually works.. Uh-oh..

  • Observer

    I love that there are so many people coming forward to expose Scn from so many different viewpoints. For people who respond to hard facts there are Tobin and Childs. For people who respond to hard facts with human interest there’s Tony. For people who respond to dramatic true stories, there are the Headleys. And now, for people who want to know why on earth an intelligent human being would consent to stay in while they’re being bled dry and scammed, there’s Vance Woodward.

    I’m not discounting people’s individual stories in the least–every nail in the coffin is a good thing. But formal reporting, books, etc. have a much wider impact and a greater chance of entering the public consciousness, which will make it harder for Scn to operate under the cloak of secrecy and acceptable truth which worked so well for them in the past.

    • ermergersh

      I think that the term “addiction” was used astutely and appropriately by Woodward to explain the how and why people get sucked into Scientology. Addiction for anything is difficult to explain to others who don’t share the same compulsion and the Co$ takes advantage of people with addictive personalities and behaviors through Narconon and Criminon and even their “Wise” programs.

      When people quit smoking, many replace cigarettes with a replacement behavior, such as chewing nicotine gum, chewing the ends of pens or pencils, or emulating Kojak by indulging in suckers or lollipops. Replacing an addiction to drugs and/or alcohol through Narconon Is like replacing a hole with the soil closest to the edge, even if it’s full of rocks and weeds or deficient in necessary nutrients. The better alternative, of course. would be to recognize that the replacement at hand is not of any positive value and to walk away to find a healthier and more advantageous alternative.

      Easier said than done for many, though, and this is why the Co$ in so unscrupulous. They take advantage of people who want to improve themselves and their lives and are at their weakest points in respect to self assurance and life direction and they are willing to place their trust in promises which are too good to be true.

  • 0tessa

    Interesting point: aspies might react differently to the e-meter.
    The e-meter itself might play a significant part in the addiction. It seems to me that Scientologists are more relying on the e-meter results than on their own feelings or ‘knowingness’. I call it the e-meter dependency.
    I would like to see a study on the psychological effects of the e-meter. It is not so innocent as it might seem, imho.

    • Semper Phi

      I agree! The e-meter is supposedly a “pre-conscious” detector, in other words, it supposedly indicates thoughts that the person is having before the person can identify them. When the auditor tells you that something “read” on the meter, well then down the rabbit hole you go, looking and looking for whatever it was. You don’t trust yourself at all, and the auditor just keeps telling you to keep looking until you find something. Especially in sec checking, auditors do not check for false reads until the pc is desperate that he can’t find anything.

      • HyperionCorp

        What an injurious form of unconsenting hypnotism and regression therapy.

      • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

        Yours is a very good description of the use of the emeter in auditing, Semper Phi.

        It’s that point when the auditor voices the auditing question and then quickly looks down at the meter and back up at you. Then you know that the meter has “read” and it has proven there is “something there” which you are not aware of but the meter has shown.

        They know better than you, and the meter proves it.

        Pretty soon, after following along with this pattern and getting “wins”, you know only what they tell you you know.

        At that point, you are fucked.


        • HyperionCorp

          Another fascintating post, Alanzo.

          So, at that moment, does the auditor care for you? Or are they thinking about your money?

          Either way, as you say, you are fucked.

          • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

            Oh yes, they care for you. I have never met an auditor who thought what they were doing was bullshit – in any way – ever.

            They really believe that they are freeing your immortal soul. Truly and sincerely. And they derive deep spiritual satisfaction from the work that they do.

            Not kidding.

            • ermergersh

              It sounds a lot like a Gypsy medium with a crystal ball or Oprah when she’s gushing about her favorite guru of the month.

    • Chocolate Velvet

      I think that’s accurate. It would be interesting to see some good research done.

  • Sid Snakey

    “…Woodward explains that a close reading shows that Hubbard never expected anyone to think that exploring past lives was anything but make believe.”

    Is it coincidence that Marty has posted a past-lives questionnaire on his blog?

    Love the term “Scientoholism” by the way.

    • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

      Yeah odd coincidence that eh Sid?

      • Sid Snakey

        Just read a few of the answers to Marty’s past-lives questionnaire.

        Oh my God.

        Unless you want to scream at mankind’s capability for total and utter stupidity I suggest you don’t take a look. I sometimes wonder how Marty is able to read it all (and I assumes he does) without going completely nuts. To those of you who says he already has done, I think it’s a cheap shot :-)

        Here, however, is one I couldn’t resist sharing with you all….

        “Looked up historical events after the fact of recalling them in session.
        Could not otherwise have known of them. On a number of occasions became
        furious at the way history misrepresented events and twisted the facts.”

        If you’ll excuse me, there is a brick wall that I need to go and bang my head against for five minutes.

        • Sandy

          Sid. Check out “Li’ll bit of stuff” (Calvin) at 3:09 pm.
          Slave master? Gladiator? Crustation?

          • Sid Snakey

            Sandy. You beat me to it. It’s completely delusional.

            Instead of dressing it up as a questionnaire, Marty might as well have said “The world thinks we might be nuts, let’s talk about our past-lives experiences and remove any remaining doubt”.

            Some of their stories read like the deranged ramblings of a lunatic. I am genuinely shocked.

            Tony, I used to quite enjoy reading your extracts of Advance, partly because it harks back to an era when such nonsense was perhaps explainable by the hippy culture of the time.

            This stuff however is now, which is frightening, rather than funny.

            • http://www.facebook.com/jeb.burton.50 Jeb Burton

              I like to read martys blog about how corporate scientology is spying on him and how crazy it is. I sometimes forget that Marty is a batshit crazy scientologist. All his independant followers are psycho scientologists who react seriously to his past life questions. Lets us not forget that Marty is just a scientolgist con man who continues to make hundred of thousands auditing these poor lost souls. I guess its better that he is taking money from then than DM, but I still feel i have to shower after thinking about him taking advantage of these misguided idiots.

        • sugarplumfairy

          awwww, dude.. c’mon, don’t harsh my mellow.. I’m pretty sure I was once Amelia Earhart (although my cousin insists I was Helen Keller..)

          • ermergersh

            A combination of Amelia Earhart and Helen Keller? That would explain why her plane went down.

            • sugarplumfairy


  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chuck-Beatty/1631176570 Chuck Beatty


    Great job by Vance! I hope more average Scientologists write.

    Thanks for noticing and pointing up his story Tony!

    Scientology piggybacks itself on a lot of human thought, to state the obvious. How Hubbard suckered so many of us onto staff, and into the membership ranks of Scientology, with pure hope of “case” advancement, with so little evidence of any advancement and with so much contrary evidence spilling out in all directions, and still people cling and hope for this ephemeral “case advancement”, it’s what Hubbard packaged and selling. Jon Atack’s book title, “A Piece of Blue Sky” says it all. For the average staffers and average folks who form the majority of the stalled “cases” not advancing up the Hubbard ladder, us average silent majority of stalled cases Scientologists all demonstrate hope for the goodies at the top, but the cone of silence (and the Introduction of Scientology Ethics book “high crmies” and “suppressive acts” list out the rules we could not violate, including dissing on the glaring lack of “case advance” that anyone amongst us was disappointingly NOT attaining).

    It’s a bizarre Catch 22 world, both on staff, and for the average “stalled case” Scientologist.

  • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

    Just downloaded it to my kindle. It’s gonna be one of those books that reads like candy. Just in time for the weekend. I’ll be finished with it by Monday no doubt. Might even take it to the boring office xmas party tomorrow;) Thanks for the heads up Tony, I like this guy already!

  • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

    Oh, and they removed aspergers from DSM V. Thought Vance might be interested.

  • burythenuts

    Yeah they did remove Aspergers and they generalized the spectrum more.
    That sucks!
    I think a lot of Aspies were just figuring it out and starting to embrace it and now they messed with the diagnosis.
    I commute to work with an Aspie and every once in a while I catch her mimicking the road noise humm ever so slightly.
    Its awesome! Its like she is singing in her own way.

  • JustCallMeMary

    Thanks for a terrific article and interview! He nails the essence of what Scientology is for the average member and does it with just the right amount of humor and humility combined to be objective and entertaining. Yes, Scientology is a drug. Let’s hope many in need of recovery read his book.

    From the introduction:

    [..] I wish I could say that I was a Ron-head. But I don’t want to get too cocky about staying clean. Over twenty-two years, I dished out $650,000 on my addiction, though nearly all of that was in the last three years.

    Well, I hit bottom. And that’s why I’m here. Actually, I’m addicted to many things: approval, attention, vaginas, orgasms, cigarettes, pot, alcohol, coffee, sugar and money. Don’t get too excited; I’ve got them under control, mostly. Either way, Scientology has been one of my long-term favorite ways of getting wrecked, certainly the most costly.

    I’m not here to embarrass other Ron-heads or anyone else for that matter. So, I’ve given fictitious names to most people that I mention. Otherwise, this story is fact.

    This is a behind-the-scenes look inside my mind, addicted to Scientology, heading towards a brain-tranquilized stupor. Using Scientology, I got everything that a powerfully psychoactive drug can offer. Mind-blowing highs, deep insights, harsh come-downs and depression. Crooked dealers and overdoses. Withdrawal, suffering,
    craving and relapse. Self-annihilation, loneliness, financial ruin and the inevitable abyss. The metaphor isn’t one. Yes, Scientology is a drug.

    This story is different than other Scientology memoirs. After all, I never ran with the kingpins. I never dealt to celebrities. I never dropped with LRH. I never went psychotic from a bad batch (though I certainly put in an honest effort). And I never snorted the premium shit: OT levels. (God, I can’t imagine what that would’ve done to my brain.) Rather, I was one of the unwashed masses, a user, a Ron-junkie.

    If you’re thinking of experimenting with Scientology, HOLD ON A SECOND! Scientology is brutally addictive for those of us who get hooked. You have no idea. That said, Scientology wasn’t my problem. I was my problem. I own it. Besides, most people’s physiologies spontaneously reject Scientology, resulting in no or few aftereffects (mild laughter / sneering / eye rolling, but no cravings). Very few people can metabolize (get high on) the cake. Indeed, your risk is slim. Nevertheless, I recommend you get educated before tripping. This book
    will give you an idea of what it’s like to bump recreationally, to be a red-eyed Ron-tweaker and to be a carpet-gnawing, psych-hating fiend. [..]

  • brianc

    “In the case of Brian Culkin, it’s probably easier for a brand-new
    Scientologist to just fly up the Bridge. Once you’ve been in for a while
    and have rolled up some Ethics trouble and auditing upsets, they seem
    to keep coming back over and over to haunt one. Old timers spend a lot
    of time just being upset about having to have their upsets handled,
    which upsets them, which needs to be handled, which…It’s like a sick
    relationship that way.” Sounds about right :) I was becoming an ethics particle towards the end because I was questioning my “wins” on the L’s. I saw the writing on the wall. I get anxiety reading this, even to imagine having to endure one more day in that prison, and yes Tony, kafkaesque is the perfect adjective. We are all Josef K when the MAA calls. Thx Vance for speaking out. Would love to talk to you about your refund cycle sometime.

    • HyperionCorp

      Great post. I didn’t realize that the “filters” in scientology were more likely to bog down the older members, while the newly susceptible members are less “tainted.” Fascinating, how the “religion” taints its adherents.

  • MarkStark

    “Penetrating descriptions of what it is like to fall under L. Ron Hubbard’s spell,” are always welcome.

    In the beginning of my criticism of Scientology some five years go, I found that too many people writing their Scientology memoirs glossed over their thoughts and feelings AS THEY WERE EXPERIENCING IT, as Vance mentions. At that time more than now, I just didn’t understand how people could be so thoroughly duped by this con. I felt I understood Jonestown better. At least they had the basis in Christianity which had a tradition, both in society, and of producing sheep. And it made sense that they’d want to isolate themselves in a utopia, and even kill themselves when saw the dream vanishing.

    However, in Scientology? A Sea Org member spending years in the RPF within a free society — able to see free people walking around right outside in the street? At first I thought Scientologists must have some deep masochistic streak — they want to be punished and bled dry of their finances. So few people who were adults were explaining the seduction very well except in simplistic terms — “It could happen to anyone” — or terms that people like Hubbard, Louanne, or Marty Rathbun would use — you have to do it and see for yourself.

    Miller’s book covered Hubbard’s history and the the sweep of the con, but I still wanted to read someone’s memoir that would describe the thrall of it. As Vance mentioned, this is very difficult, or impossible for some people to do. What they know now changes them so much that they are incapable of expressing what they felt and thought then. People who write their stories, often don’t want anyone to make what drew them in sound too attractive. Maybe being an aspie has helped Vance overcome some of that?

    • nobs

      I thought Jeff Hawkins did a good job of detailing the attraction and the slide down the slippery slope into cultdom. I found it helpful (even as an ex, there are times when someone else’s perspective is needed). I do agree with you that more explanations of how the cult/con traps people are very necessary. And Vance’s humor seals the deal.

    • 0tessa

      No, it is not masochism. This phenomenon is in fact age-old. In ‘real’ religion it also exists. As soon as people are convinced of the existence of a afterlife, being it the past lives or eternity as a thetan of Scientology, the paradise of the Christians and Muslims, or Salvation in general: it’s all the same. People can be made to do everything, even to die or kill for it, when their salvation (their award!) is at stake.
      In Scientology people slave, are punished have to confess their sins all the time; in Christianity, especially in the Middle Ages, people did everything to become a martyr, as some Muslims do now. Nothing new. It’s the dark side of religion.
      Commiting sins, or ‘overts’ in Scientology, is threatening your afterlife.
      The promise of salvation, an afterlife, e.g. the coming of the Messias on earth, is one of the most powerful tools to get people to do what you want them to do. And it is being used for at least 2,5 thousand years. Especially the monotheistic religions or cults are very focused on this ‘technique’.
      Scientology is just another variation on a known theme. But a very vicious one, I reckon.
      This is (also) what the study of the beginnings of christianity has teached me.

      • Jean

        Score athiest proselytism +1
        Attention to topic of post -1

      • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

        I recently read a very interesting book on moral psychology called “The Righteous Mind” which explains what happens in religions a little differently. It says that humans are “90% Chimp, and 10% Bee”. The author explains that certain moral teachings can flip a “hive switch” in us that moves us from self-interested chimps to living solely as a unit of the hive, with no self-interests and only the survival of the group in our minds.

        This flip of the switch happened to me when I was in Scientology. I got involved in order to make my own life better, but soon I abandoned all my own self-interests and cared only for the survival of Scientology. I abandoned everything. I lived in the back of a warehouse room in the mission and worked for free. I vowed to eat only from the money I made there, and if I made no money there, then I would go hungry. I staked my own survival directly to the survival of my group.

        I am certain that LRH’s teachings were designed to flip this fanatic switch in me, but I was also very willing for it to be flipped. I wanted to live for something larger than myself. And I have to also admit that it gave my life a sense of purpose and meaning that I have rarely found since.


        • 0tessa

          I see your point. Humans are social animals afterall. That plays a role also.
          Having a higher purpose in life is very fulfilling. But it can become a trap also. Then the utopia changes into a dystopia. (E.g. the cult of Ayn Rand) Unfortunately religious prophets use these psychological data also: the flock and the shepherd. The words of the shepherd (e.g. Hubbard, Rand) or the alpha chimp cannot be questioned. If you do, you get excommunicated from the beehive and you risk social isolation. The last thing somebody would want! One of the reason people suppress their critical questions. It takes a lot of courage not to do that.

  • ze moo

    Rut roh, having gone public with his story Woodward has become an SP
    and therefore not able to enter the Orgs and properly fill out the
    refund papers. Time for a lawyer, oh wait he is a lawyer. That will
    be very handy.

    Of course, Scamatology will refund his money on
    account, in accordance with the settlement with the IRS many years ago.
    Vince’s story will be going on for some time and I for one would like
    to see how long it takes the Co$ to settle with Vince. If it takes long
    enough and is difficult enough, the IRS may have to declare Co$ in
    violation of their agreement and begin taxing the cult. Then the FDA
    can chase down those health claims about auditing…….

    • http://www.facebook.com/dee.fogger Dee Fogger

      I hope they make it enough of a hell for him to get it back that he gets pissed off and sues and that he doesn’t just sue on his own account but gets hooked up with a really good class action law firm as lead plaintiff for a class action suit for everybody that can’t get their money on account back. That would make me VERY happy.

  • http://cofsexit.blogspot.com/ CofS Exit Zone

    I absolutely loved LOVED LOVED Mr. Woodward’s book. I think it makes the perfect follow up to Jeff Hawkins’ Leaving Scientology memoir, and an ideal fit for those who have recently leapt that first hurdle to waking up and admitted to themselves that they are disenchanted with the Church of Scientology and need to distance themselves from the mental mind warp trap.

    /SALUTE to Vance for doing an excellent job of providing a look from inside the mind of someone addicted to Scientology. It truly is like no other book out there. I personally found it to be the perfect intellectual analgesic that soothed my brain after the torture of Marty Rathburn’s second diatribe of toe-curling egotism and wrath inducing petulance.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gerard-Plourde/1127841398 Gerard Plourde

    As John P. pointed out earlier, you’ve gotten some great quotes from Vance that describe and explain the mindset of the average member of the Church of Scientology. Vance’s insights help give a fuller picture and a potential tool for reaching these people.

  • MarkStark

    Scientology will play on an individual’s “ruin,” to trap the person as long as they can for maximum extraction of money and/or service, in the case of being on staff or in the Sea Org. They get that information through auditing, and background searches on a person’s finances.

    The whole system is designed to prey on people’s vulnerability and weaknesses, even when a person’s vulnerability is they want to feel enlightened or superior, or they want to “belong” to something noble and great, or be part of a club, like Paul Haggis.

    They know when they’ve got someone hooked for a long time — being “in early” helps — and how to keep them hooked. They know when someone’s stature, ego or pride — like Tom Cruise’s — will never allow them to wake up.

    They know when someone is loaded, like Culkin, but how to put the last squeeze on them when they see it coming to an end. He didn’t have any family connections, so what was the investment besides his own ego? They know how to butter the wealthy and entice the poor. But again, this appeals only to a fraction of 1% of the population — people who are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    These days, because of the Internet, Hubbard sounds like a loon. Anyone can hear his ideas and hear him “lecture” on YouTube, or read his day to day insanity aboard the Apollo on Tony’s VV blog, or in Miller’s excellent book, Barefaced Messiah.

  • dagobarbz

    “You can think of going up the Bridge as more of a filtering process than a road of improvement.”

    That notion came to me as well, a few years back. It starts with the Free Personality Test; where nonsense questions and repeated questions are sprinkled through the 200 questions. If you don’t stand up and leave, you pass the first filtering. The early courses one takes are like that as well. Raising ashtrays? Bullbaiting? Who the hell would put up with that?

    Potential Scientologists with good prospects for getting in deeper, that’s who.

    • sugarplumfairy


    • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

      Exactly. The filtering or purging process really gets intense on the courses and auditing that get you set up for the OT levels. They really do not want any person on the OT levels who is not going to fall in line and obey every order given to them. There is heavy sec checking, as well as passing “eligibility”. You must be invited onto each OT level, you can not just pay your money and get on. You must prove your loyalty in every area to them beyond a shadow of their doubt of you.

      This is where I finally got off. I could finally tell what was going on. I finally realized that the social coercion and pressure to conform and to obey would not stop. Actually, I realized that it would never stop.

      That was the last day for me, the day the filter finally pooped me out.

      Congratulations to anyone who was pooped out before that point.

      You were smarter and less needy than I.


      • HyperionCorp

        I find your post quite interesting. I didn’t realize they would refuse your money if they suspected you wouldn’t follow orders. I thought they would drain everyone’s bank account, without prejudice.

        I suppose $cientology has ways to make the less “trustworthy” underlings keep paying, like ethics work and the like, which don’t constitute “advancement.” Which would explain how why few scientologists actually finish their “bridge” to nowhere.

        • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

          Oh no, they would take your money.

          They just would not let you on to the OT Level. They would make you do something else that gave you the feeling that you were “too degraded” or “too unethical” for the OT Levels. Then you would do what they wanted, over and over, charging you the whole time, until they could see that you would do whatever they told you to do.

          Then they would finally let you on to the OT Level that you had paid for earlier, now many tens of thousands of dollars later.

          Getting a person to believe they are “not worthy of the OT Levels” is one of the main coercion techniques they apply to you. As a group animal, any human wants to be looked on by others as “ethical”. You will do anything to get out of looking “unethical” and to make yourself appear “ethical” in the eyes others who you respect.

          Hubbard had that particular social coercion technique down to a fine science.

        • burythenuts

          Oh wait…they will take your money even if you aren’t a Scientologist….TRUST ME! I watched someone close to me hand them over money..(granted small amounts)…but on a monthly and even weekly basis.

          They will suck everything…google Raul Lopez…Oh yeah! Read his little story.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kimberly.bumpas Kimberly Gooden Bumpas

    I’m so glad this author decided to speak out. I like his writing style, which anyone can relate to, not just ex’s & followers of Scientology. Written with humor & a relatable metaphor likening his experience to that of a drug addict draws the reader in.
    Thank you for telling your side of the story!

  • burythenuts

    I have finally managed to get through Vance’s “This is Scientology” blog posts! I had to do it between meetings and other petty “pay related” annoyances.
    That was Freaking FANTASTIC!
    That was Hilariously Funny and incredibly informative.
    And I like that he admits that Scientology is addictive…That it is like a drug. Ya Think?
    This was a refreshing perspective on the whole SHEBANG!

  • jensting

    I liked Vance’s book so much that I left a review on Amazon after I bought it and read it …

    Good observation that the big scandals (the human rights breaches in the Damnation Navy, the dead victims) are only some of the things that are wrong with the criminal organisation known as the “church” f $cientology. Another is that the bread and butter business (the hard sell in the bOrgs) is basically organised fraud, which is one of the crimes the organisation itself was found guilty of in France. http://infinitecomplacency.blogspot DOT com/2009/05/20-scientology-on-trial-in-france.html and on and on (in English, replace DOT …)

  • Guest

    I just read his blog and I’m definitely getting this on my Kindle. Woot!

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Just ordered Kindle version. This sounds like a fun read. Seems he got out by 2007? I have stated that those still in these last 5 years given reports of the extreme environment must be mad as hatters by now. I’ll bet Vince is glad he got out when he did assuming he’s read those same reports. I am happy he has given this effort in filling in the day to day emotional scientological suckage. This scam is still programmed to target the naivety of the young, though as its foundation assumes all are yearning, vulnerable and typically against anything their parents like.

    Now, scientology won’t even register on brainwaves to those born after internet and cable TV. Prior to that anyone could be baited, hooked and then fried on the alter of it’s ethics grill. The bait is whatever you want and what you think you need. It could be anything, postive or negative, mental, physical, career, relationships. The better cons have wide nets. This is the Mecca of Sales Hyenas and no one gets out the door unscathed.

    I agree with the addiction comparison. There is a point where a savvy hyena (reg/salesman) and glaring enforcer (ethics officer) will team up at just the right moment and pounce on one pinpoint area that will implode all your resistance and leave you weeping in a puddle of your own desperation. Everyone in scientology will experience this traumatic hour. It may come after just a few months or a few years, depending on whether you are staff qualified (breath shows on mirror) or you are suffering from too much wealth.

    And when it happens, those who stay are addicts. It is just a simple fact. Once you are physically, mentally, and/or financially broken, you will be discarded as so much gristle and bone leftovers for the ethics or bankruptcy vultures. What heart you have left will finally be shattered when you get your Exit Kiss: Scientology can’t help the likes of you.

    Thanks, Vance Woodward, and good for you for climbing out of what I affectionately like to call the Hell Hole.

  • Trustmeonthis

    I d/l’d the sample. I’m having difficulty word clearing “hair taco.”
    Sorry, I’m not paying $10 to get insulted for being a woman. I can get that for free on the internets.
    OTOH, I will prepare popcorn for the pending legal battle.

  • Guest

    I just d/l’d the sample and I am having difficulty word clearing “hair taco.”
    Sorry, I’m not paying $10 to get insulted for being a woman. I can get that for free on the internets.

    • burythenuts

      I must have missed it? Why is that an insult?

      • Trustmeonthis

        Um, “… depending on how much of a hair taco she was going to be” doesn’t strike you as an insult against women?
        Well, it’s real for me. :-/

        • burythenuts

          Nope, not against all women.
          Sounds like an insult against that particular woman. And without the benefit of being there………can’t say I would not have said the same thing.
          But I definitely wouldn’t have been insulting all women.
          I think Women and Men are freaking awesome.
          But I also have met a few hair tacos and dickheads.

          • Sherbet

            I’m with you, Trustme. Pretty crude. But I won’t hold it against Woodward. Some people talk that way and think nothing of it.

            • Sherbet

              This is a test to see if my Gravatar shows up.

            • burythenuts

              Sherbet…I SEE u!!!

            • Sherbet

              There’s never any hiding from you! I couldn’t get my old Gravatar, but I’ve got a new space creature for now.

            • burythenuts

              Yeah true….My detective gene finds EVERYONE!!!

          • Trustmeonthis

            I prefer to call them all “assholes” – just seems fair.
            And I am splitting hairs (hurr hurr hurr) but this project really needs an editor.

        • Perennial New Girl

          I don’t get what it means, really, but one thing I did get was that it was the thought of a fourteen year-old Vance. I haven’t read the whole book, so I don’t know if the adult Vance is a misogynist. But if we give him the benefit of the doubt, even as a relatively enlightened adult woman (you’ll have to trust me on that one), if I were going to write down all of my honest thoughts, they aren’t all PC. YMMV.

    • N. Graham

      I thought it said “bearded taco.”

    • jensting

      Huh? Doesn’t show in “search” in my copy in my Kindle.

  • DeElizabethan

    Tony, swell job with Disqus. Hope this works for dummies like me. I’m trying.

    Vance Woodward, thank you for writing and telling us how things were in those years for you. It is very interesting to have your story. I certainly hope you get your money out of their hands and I’m sure we all will be watching. Will be a hoot as Tony says. So happy that your are out now and can reveal your inner feelings, a healing in itself.

  • DeElizabethan

    Alanzo, boy you hit it directly on the spot with going up the bridge for OT levels. That’s exactly what they are doing and I saw that and was quite ‘enlightened’ last year. One major out-point in the whole picture. I haven’t read much about that with the indies. I’m so glad you told it as it is. Money and only promoting scn forget about any abilities. It just “ain’t what it use to be” or at least promised. “What a revoltin’ development” Love, Dee

    • http://www.AlanzosBlog.com/ Alanzo

      Thanks, De.

      The Solo 1 course at AOLA was my very last course in Scientology. That was the place where they begin to apply the pressure cooker to public Scientologists. I’d had it applied as a mission staff member many times, but I was on a indentured servitude contract during those times and felt, well, indentured.

  • DeElizabethan

    I see no insult except maybe racial. taco = Mexican/Spanish?

    • Sandy

      I have not read this in context, but, in general, it’s reference would be sexual. Just sayin… Don’t know if that is what she is referring to…

    • burythenuts

      I would explain in more graphic detail…but I would make you blush.

    • burythenuts

      But all of this yakking about this is MAKING ME WANT TACO’S PEOPLE!!!!!
      It has been a while!

  • DeElizabethan

    You crack me up, I love you! My new reality on taco’s.

    • burythenuts

      Yeah baby…You will never be able to eat a Taco again with a straight face eh?????

  • Chocolate Velvet

    I downloaded his book from iBooks this morning. He has a great style, and a killer sense of humor. A good read so far.

    This new comment system is not working well for me so far. I finally got logged in by replying to an existing comment. Right now, I’m ty typing bling. All I see is a blank screen and a “post” button. I’ll keep tryin’. I think my IOS is out of date…

    • burythenuts

      MUST be CV!…working great here.
      Did you read Vance’s blog.
      HE ROCKS!
      I bought the book but I am saving it for the weekend since the other half will be OUT OF FREAKIN” TOWN…..
      I am gonna be havin’ my nose in this kindle book.

  • N. Graham

    Great synopsis on Amazon. I don’t usually buy books (since as a librarian I can get them easily) but I might make an exception. Like the new interface. Editing, links, avatars, ratings. It’s the best yet!

  • HyperionCorp

    I can see why people think they have a “win” but the wins seem so pathetic and weak, I don’t understand what “wins” make someone become a dedicated scientologist.

    • burythenuts

      OK, Because I am a drunk tonight (again..white zin from the hubby…long story)!…I am gonna tell you about wins!. Auditing wins!.here we go baby…It is not ‘Thinking” you have a win…You DO!!!!! have a win…You rock your own fucking world!!!!

      I am going to be so mad I spewed about this tomorrow…but who cares!

      Auditing ROCKS YOUR WORLD.!!!…Yeah, crack cocaine! Yep, drug is the best way to describe it. really!!!

      Absofuckinlutely….Here is my take on it! If you have a ‘certain” mind.. IT IS ADDICTIVE…Like a great and phenomenal psychotropic drug…REALLY!!! That is why I related so much to Vance’s story…………………..
      But lets break it down…because if I am going to get introspective…so be it…Lets look at the facts.
      I have ADHD…big time.
      I am smart, However…when you have ADHD you have two separate problems…No Focus/Hyper focus. Polar opposites..however…an amazing understanding of both.? right?
      OK. so here I audit…and guess what…the hyper focus takes me to whatever I want…I can control it!
      But it is also whatever it” was”.
      It is like I have a clear window to my former, yet similar and continual self.
      Yeah, i audit now….this is new for me…however. I FUCKING LOVE IT…yep…LOVE IT.
      Will I ever walk into a mission or an org. FUCK NO! NO< NO< NO!!!
      But we all knew there HAD to be a HOOK…right?///////////////////////////////////////////?????????????????????

      • John P.

        I know the odd thing or two about ADHD, like many capitalists, where short attention spans on the trading desk are a good thing, not a problem. You’d be surprised how many people in my job clearly have ADHD. Just like you wouldn’t be surprised that many world-class computer software engineers are on the Asperger spectrum.

        You’re right about the fact that many ADHD’s (myself included) have two modes: mostly scatterbrained, but the occasional hyper-focused cycle. For me, the hyperfocus phase allows me to do things that many other people would find impossible (I once wrote a book for my job, 375 pages, in about 4 days when I was in hyperfocus mode). But it’s nearly impossible to control. I typically get hyperfocus states about three times a year, so when I feel one start, I just roll with it. So I can understand that if you felt that auditing can help you control your hyperfocus states, that’s pretty insanely addictive. I tried self-medicating with various levels of caffeine (and guarana, a Brazilian drink with ephedrine analogs), and I think that biochemistry really affects hyperfocus states far more than auditing. I’m down to one hyperfocus phase per year the last three years, due to some other health issues, which settles the issue fairly definitively in my mind: endocrine meter is more important than e-meter for managing hyper-focus and the rest of ADHD…

        • HyperionCorp

          I found sudafed + chocolate is a good solution, fleeting as it may be.

          • burythenuts

            I wish I liked chocolate…this sounds much less dangerous……….snort!

        • burythenuts

          Ok John P., You just went all Science guy on me! I understand it SO WELL….So, so well.
          ADHD is one of the BIGGEST blessings/Wins of my life. But I had to push aside the SHIT first…but man oh man….the good parts ROCK :)
          That is funny!…I get the hyperfocus states about two to three times a year too! Like you…I can’t control them…they control me!
          Honestly…I do think that the ADHD has a huge “benefit” as far as the auditing. A conduit into the core of it.???
          I do love it…Just started about a month or so ago…but holy moley…awesome. I agree about biology though. In fact. As soon as I began to audit and I had these ..wow…unreal recalls or memories…I started to “think” about it…what is happening? what is that about? I tried to disect it…because I tend to do that…
          But then I realized…who cares. It is so cool…I like the loop of “ME” it gives me…weird…I know..
          but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool….

      • HyperionCorp

        It does seem reasonable to think that when someone receives a hypnotic service without giving appropriate consent to being hypnotized, that it might become addictive, and it becomes very problematic when the outcome of the “religious service” is to go bankrupt. If you have kids, you donate their college fund. If you have a mortgage, you get a second mortgage, and give everything you have to this cult.

      • 0tessa

        Excuse me, but I’m awfully sober this morning. Also, it is snowing outside, all is white and bleak.
        Am I to understand that you are actually auditing? is that solo-auditing or is your hubby steering the e-meter? I would think that auditing with a proper intake of booz might make an interesting experience, but only when the auditor is a bit intoxicated as well.
        Do you know of any auditing that would help with ADD, without the H? I would give quite some intensives of auditing to get those hyperfocus periods you are talking about. I would love to have a hyperfocus, if only for a couple of hours!

        • burythenuts

          When, I get to work. I will give you a thoughtful and stone cold sober answer! Give me a bit.

        • burythenuts

          OK, here is the deal. For four bucks or so you can get LRH’s “Self Analysis” book on Amazon.
          No e-meter. No husband…This is a solo journey for me!
          I have not tried to audit while high or drunk…but that is an interesting idea?
          I am up for anything once…and if I like it…I’ll repeat!
          I will say this…be careful what you wish for. You might get more that you expect.
          Fire is hot…it burns…so you may really want to think about that before you touch the stove.
          This has created significant changes in my life that were unexpected and some of them are downright painful.
          But I was blown out… and still am.
          If you are ADD, read the first portion of the book three times before you start the auditing…so you can process that part. (Ignore LRH’s bloviating dead redheaded ass when he is talking smack…you will recognize those parts.) It may not work at first, you have to give it some time and really concentrate before it starts to kick in.
          IF and when it does…….oh BABY…you will know it!

  • burythenuts

    RuhRoh….I verbally vomited again..didnt I?…I hate it when that happens….

    • Mrs Libnish

      Fucking love!!!!!

      • Mrs Libnish

        My mom texted me last night right before bed…”go read BTN’s comments, stat!”

        • burythenuts

          OH MY GOD!
          I got my head in my ass….
          My foot in my mouth…
          I really need to blog post while sober…..!
          But it is SOOooo much more BORING!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/media_lush media_lush

    Came across this amazing photo of Miscavige making goo goo eyes at Tom Cruise I had to share… http://scientologybollocks.blogspot.co.uk For all serious media scholars I feel this pic is loaded with so much connotation/denotation/iconography that it sums up the real [secret?] relationship between them and explains an awful lot…. if he was still alive I’d love to see Roland Barthes deconstruct this.

  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    Vance Woodward never went Clear due to his overts and withholds. Vince would not give up anything in session; engaged in endless Q&A; and he had a hidden standard that Scientology should do something to him.

    A complete “No Overts Case” Vance now invalidates Scientology as a drug because it didn’t meet his hidden standard. Well let we in RTC tell you that Scientology is not a drug. Scientology is in fact the Truth and it is the world’s only workable mental technology.

    We in RTC even ordered special sec checks and rundowns for Vince, but he proved to be a Resistive Case, and, ultimately an NCG (No Case Gain). At one point around 1996 we in RTC grew concerned that Vince had been sent in by Interpol because he was not making case gain. A sec check showed, however, that he was merely nattering, banky, and stuck in an electronic incident. We tried and tried to pop him out of it, but Vince had no tone arm action.

    He just sat there holding the cans.

    Of course, we deny everything Vince writes in his book, for it is all a mocked up make wrong of the world’s fastest growing and safest religion. With over one billion members globally, Scientology is reaching into all sectors of human life in its goal to handle the fourth dynamic engram and audit society from three feet behind its head.

    In the final analysis, Vince’s book is not convincing nor is his refund request.

    What is convincing is the help that Scientology is giving to the many sectors of the universe:

    * The Narconon sector is saving people from drug abuse everyday – and doing so for only $40,000 per client,
    much cheaper than ineffective psych treatments or worthless R6-based self help programs that prattle on and
    on and beseech some mocked up wog God for help.

    * The CCHR sector saves countless people from the ravages of fraudulent psychiatric techniques that are despicable.

    * The Way to Happiness sector has reduced crime by 50% and even more in other Latin American countries and is about to receive religious recognition in Mexico.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Flabbergasted Review of “Addicted To Scientology”

    Vance Woodward ended off his blog labelling himself an Aspy. Some misinterpreted this as Asperger’s. AsPD is Antisocial Personality Disorder. In scientology, it is written as anSP, a suppressive person.

    His self published ebook is evidence over 22 years of scientologists’ repeated, deliberate and calculated illegal practice of mental therapy on an abused minor up through adulthood. Vance Woodward was a child of sociopath parents. Just one of the many layers of symptomatic dysfunction of such children are stunted emotional growth. So I first wrote “is a child of sociopath parents”. Vance Woodward is also highly intelligent and landed a career as corporate litigator and in the income bracket that sets off a scientologist a thousand miles away drooling.

    I just hope he can get this book into evidence in a lawsuit. It details in stomach churning chronological order the vile manipulation of a boy in obvious mental hell and delusion with complete disregard to the consequences to his mental health. The same sociopath, blood sucking role as financial siphons is played like a Steve King ferris wheel, leading him up and down and over again and again, faster and faster, until the sheer force of the madness jettisons his last $2,000 and semblance of sanity out of the monster machine.

    When Vance speaks in third person he always uses the feminine pronouns. I got the feeling he was in a state where he could not refrain from telling all truthfully, even his obvious objectification of women, who I assume resembles his anger at his mother for not protecting him (although he makes both parents sound like sociopaths). Vance doesn’t understand why he can’t just walk away from the scientology vultures other than to label it a drug. True enough, but for Vance, he learned as a child not to be rude to avoid an hour or two of escaping dad’s wrath.

    Vance lets out the inner secret thoughts that Every scientologist thinks while being scammed and skinned. Now I see that this went on as late as 2011, not 2007. I wonder now if he realizes he Did get the Major EP of scientology: scientology is a scam and when you leave, they will call you anSP. I also wonder if he has since learned that mental health therapies have progressed and a good course of action. I hope for his sake he does. Oh, and the 70’s weren’t That much fun, but yes, people at least Thought they were moving, but the scam stays the same and destructive at any price. I wish Vance the best outcome possible and a happy, real life.

  • California

    One of the aspects of this book that makes it so valuable is that it takes the reader, in simple language, through the whole “hidden and do-not-talk-about-it” experience of the newbie (or raw meat) as he gets acclimated to SCN-think and shows how easily one can be conned under this system into giving up money and a real life.

    Questions I have had for years are being answered as I read through the chapters.

    And Vance’s honesty about all aspects of the process, for him, makes it an even more educational experience for those of us who have never been through the process.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      He accomplishes this with ease, yet it’s not an easy task. This is yet another report, albeit extensively detailed, of the year of jumping off the cliff: 2008 and Anonymous enters the stage incognito and en mass. Paranoia strikes deep and weekly “checks” begin for all. The doomsday conspiracy theories the IAS Zoo Keepers regurgitate have become wackier than any Monty Python sketch I’ve ever seen.

      The bridge turns into a 24/7 circular escalator and the scientology corporation does a seizmic makeover from new age therapy product line to a Greed Is Good sales assembly line. More evidence too that the same few remaining whales and same staff are going through the motions mentally incapacitated still grabbing at the imaginary golden ring. I just mentally adjusted my estimate of active scientologists down to 6,000 as of the end of this year.

      Lord of the Flies doesn’t quite seem to fit now, knowing more details. Any help here on which movie nails it?

  • DeElizabethan

    Thank you Vance for writing this book and telling your story. I hoping to read it soon. Yes, addiction is very relevant and hadn’t thought of it quite in that way, but see the truth in it.